richardcruz Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Okay so I was probably one of the most pathetic people on these boards. My ex broke up me last year in Nov and said she wanted time. The following two months after that I begged and cried and pleaded and did all the things one shouldn't do when you someone wants to leave you. Finally got to the point were she was just hanging up on me when I was crying for her and just being plain cold. I sent her a long message where I spilled my guts to her of how much she hurt me and how I couldn't understand how she did this to me blah blah blah.. I told her i'd never try calling her again..that was mid Jan. Well I start NC for a month and and I don't hear from her at all. I break NC mid Feb with the genuis idea to text her a real generic text that reads 'I hope everything is okay with you, your work and your family.' She doesn't respond. Since then I have not attempted to contact her at all and started NC again. These past months have been absolute hell and i've been finally adjusting to the reality that I have to deal with my own pain and stand on my own. Somedays are good, some days are really bad. I still cry at times at night when I go to sleep. But definetely not as often anymore. I guess you just learn how to cope with the pain. So here is the thing. I had gotten my Ex a job through a good friend of mine right before she broke up with me. Shortly after she asked for time. Well last week my friend which works in a completely different wing of the facility saw her in his wing. He told me that he had ran into her and that she avoided making any eye contact with him. It hurt me just to hear that she saw her, im not sure why. Everything about the way she dumped me and about her in general still is really painful and still stings. Anyways so today i'm at work and to my suprise I receive a text that reads "thank you" from her. I was thinking that maybe she sent it to my number by accident. Then again if thats the case, why does she still have my number. I truly thought she hated me and would've deleted it judging by the way she treated me like crap at the end. Anyways the point is that I have not responded to it and I don't think I am. I mean I don't even know what she is trying to thank me for..the job? maybe because she felt guilty? I don't know. I'm afraid to make any move because I don't want to hurt anymore because I've been through too much and I don't want her to think I'm still desperate for her to come back. I still have alot of feelings for her and I also don't want her to think i'm ignoring her...but then again all my females friends say to not respond to her and that this will make her think more.. Everything is so illogical and assbackwards..what are your takes on this?
sedona Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Don't answer. It could have been a mistake. If she means something by it, then wait until she says more. I would try to foreget all about it.
vivrantflo Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Games games games.. don't play them with her.... Two reasons why you shouldnt respond.. 1. "Thank you" isn't a text that you would need to respond to. So don't. 2. Her texting you "thank you" is in response to the last text that you sent. What she's expecting is a "thank you for what?" Then I would bet my next paycheck on the fact that she wouldnt respond to your question.. which in turn, would mess up your emotions again. Don't respond.. she's just throwing a line out there, to see if she still has you on a string. She's not stupid, she knows you love her, so dont worry about her "forgetting" that if u don't respond. Kepp up the good work. I guarantee you.. if you don't respond to her, she'll give another weak attempt at contacting you again in the future.... trust me.
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Don't respond.. she's just throwing a line out there, to see if she still has you on a string. She's not stupid, she knows you love her, so dont worry about her "forgetting" that if u don't respond. Agreed. She's mind-gaming. Checking you're still interested. You deserve better. Look how she hurt you. Look how she was able to walk away and be so cold. Those are not the actions of someone who loves you. At all. Maintain NC and you'll be fine.
Author richardcruz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 So I shouldn't respond. I guess I start thinking that maybe she texted me because she wanted to talk to me. But the only reason I would really want to talk to her is if she would seriously call me or text me and wanted to work things out. Otherwise there is no point. But I am 99.9% that this is NOT why she texted. I just don't want to close the communication door on her. Now this is my heart talking here but I feel that by me not texting her back, she will never try to contact me again afterwards. But then again when she was leaving me even when she'd hang up on me, I'd still call her back because I really wanted her. In other words if someone really wants you, they'll find a way to talk to you right?
stlnsmile Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Love is not that tenuous, I mean its not that fragile, if someone truly wants to be with you, to talk to you, if they are desperate to get to you, then they will. One missed text would not mean they would stop trying. I mean people are self driven, they want what they want. You could text back your welcome......but not if its going to hurt you when she doesn't respond.
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 In other words if someone really wants you, they'll find a way to talk to you right? yep, that's about the size of it. Richard, think back to when you guys met. When things were easy, when you wanted each other (sorry to do this buddy, bear with me). Can you ever recall there being an instance of not knowing whether she was interested in you or not..?! If you look at her behaviour now, in comparison to back then when she was interested... it will show you what you need to know. When someone is scared of losing you, doesn't want to let you go, even if they need a little space and time, they let you know, they go out of their way to reassure you. Like I said earlier, I think she's simply trying to see whether you're still out there caring about her. She doesn't seriously intend to do anything about that even if she knew... and to be honest, she DOES know. She's the one who walked. She severed the bond, she hurt you. She knows how you feel about her. If she felt remotely the same way, she'd let you know it... a simple 'thankyou' especially with no indication for what, does not constitute even that she's thinking about you. For all you know, she could have texted the wrong person! Sorry hun, try to hang in there, keep breathing and going forwards.
Author richardcruz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 If she felt remotely the same way, she'd let you know it... a simple 'thankyou' especially with no indication for what, does not constitute even that she's thinking about you. For all you know, she could have texted the wrong person! Sorry hun, try to hang in there, keep breathing and going forwards. Thanks for your input. Deep inside I know your absolutely right. It was most likely a mistake. And just to think something as small as her texting me (accidentally) gets my heart racing. It exposes that glimmer of hope of her returning one day that I thought I buried deep inside my heart. I know she'll never come back and I just hurt myself for thinking otherwise even if it was for a day. I'll just forget about the call. Well, I'll go back now to crying at night and living day by day through depression and sadness. I've already done it for some months so thats what i'll keep doing. Thats my life. This has been the most painful experience of my life. I wish it would all end.
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Richard, I wish I could say I don't know what you're talking about. I'm where you are. I know those days. Each day like a thousand before it and a thousand to come. Each day has some measure of numbness or pain. There doesn't seem to be much relief from either. I wish I could say too that I'm wallowing, I'm really not thought. It's simply a fact. I guess I don't weep as much now. But there are still 'why?' and 'wtf?' days. There are still very sad days. I do tend to be better at not exactly switching off... but when my ex comes to mind, I simply tell myself 'you're wasting your time, he's never coming back' because (a) I know it's true and (b) I know I won't believe it unless I keep actively reinforcing it. I keep breathing. I try to help here. I don't think about the future. I don't think about dating or meeting new people. I know I'm not in a place for that and it's been 10 months now since we split. It's painful on some days and not so on others. I too wish I could wipe ever knowing him out of my head completely.
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