Author TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Whenever there is a situation where she wants A and you want B, you have two options: either chose C or one person sacrifices. C, however, is not always available. So very often people in a relationship find that they need to give up on something for the greater good (= being with the other person). This is not always as serious as it sounds. It might just be something simple like watching that chick flick in the cinema, because she really wants to see it, instead of the latest action movie. It might be her going to the steakhouse with you even though she isn't a big fan of meat. And it can be bigger, like moving to another city because that's the only way to stay together. Well I don't really consider most of those examples out right sacrifices. I'm flexible and can do whatever. If she's not flexible too and considers the things I mentioned as sacrifices then she's just not want I want and vice versa.
Trimmer Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 So I'll ask my question again, and it's not steeped in negativity, nor does it presume any judgement on what I think. I'm really interested to know: does what you do get you what you want?
sally4sara Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Why does being happy have to mean sacrificing? It doesn't. In my case, he would not be as happy if he still lived in my home town and I would not be happy if he treated my son like a side note he should not have any dealings with instead of a part of sharing a life with me. Necessary sacrifice to ensure happiness can come in the form of many things. Say you are dating a girl in med school and she gets her residency in city you are not so enthused about living in but everything about the relationship has been so rosy that you've moved in together at some point. If you ARE able to secure employment in the city she needs to move to but have never found yourself wanting to live there, should she not take the residency just to stay with you? Or if she developed a health issue that required your excellent GF to take medication for one to three years that drastically decreased her sex drive, would you bow out over it because she chose to take the treatment? Or you get married to the perfect partner for you and 10 years down the road she has to have a double mastectomy but choses to not get implants and corrective plastic surgery....do you bounce off? Her mother dies leaving behind her senile father who cannot care for himself and she needs to take him in because she hates the idea of putting him in a home. Is that a deal breaker? These are all life altering situations that you either make the sacrifice to support your partner in to keep the relationship together. I'm sure every guy would PREFER to have a partner with a high sex drive, both titties, and no senile father milling about 24/7, but telling an otherwise compatible mate they cannot do what they think is right because you don't believe any sacrifice on your part is wise is a real cold way to live.
DanielMadr Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 In my case, he would not be as happy if he still lived in my home town and I would not be happy if he treated my son like a side note he should not have any dealings with instead of a part of sharing a life with me. Necessary sacrifice to ensure happiness can come in the form of many things. Say you are dating a girl in med school and she gets her residency in city you are not so enthused about living in but everything about the relationship has been so rosy that you've moved in together at some point. If you ARE able to secure employment in the city she needs to move to but have never found yourself wanting to live there, should she not take the residency just to stay with you? Or if she developed a health issue that required your excellent GF to take medication for one to three years that drastically decreased her sex drive, would you bow out over it because she chose to take the treatment? Or you get married to the perfect partner for you and 10 years down the road she has to have a double mastectomy but choses to not get implants and corrective plastic surgery....do you bounce off? Her mother dies leaving behind her senile father who cannot care for himself and she needs to take him in because she hates the idea of putting him in a home. Is that a deal breaker? These are all life altering situations that you either make the sacrifice to support your partner in to keep the relationship together. I'm sure every guy would PREFER to have a partner with a high sex drive, both titties, and no senile father milling about 24/7, but telling an otherwise compatible mate they cannot do what they think is right because you don't believe any sacrifice on your part is wise is a real cold way to live. What FonZ porabably meant was: Why are girls throwing tantrums and mind games in order to squeeze out some sacrifices from a guy even if there is no serious need for sacrifices. And you answered in your post: Because there might come days when sacrifices will be needed, so we better make sure now you can take it or to train you. It is not tottally irrational behaviour, I can see a point in that. On the other hand too much of it is just too much. FonZ probably suggests - Im ready for sacrifices but Im not willing to train for them every day. It is like soldiers tranning a bleeding.
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Long day at work today. This thread made me laugh. A lot. Good luck with that.
Author TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 So I'll ask my question again, and it's not steeped in negativity, nor does it presume any judgement on what I think. I'm really interested to know: does what you do get you what you want? Yes, how else would I possibly be getting what I want unless things were happening the way I want them to?
Author TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 What FonZ porabably meant was: Why are girls throwing tantrums and mind games in order to squeeze out some sacrifices from a guy even if there is no serious need for sacrifices. And you answered in your post: Because there might come days when sacrifices will be needed, so we better make sure now you can take it or to train you. It is not tottally irrational behaviour, I can see a point in that. On the other hand too much of it is just too much. FonZ probably suggests - Im ready for sacrifices but Im not willing to train for them every day. It is like soldiers tranning a bleeding. Exactly right, why would I tolerate and encourage sacrifice just for the sake of sacrifice? I'm not into S&M. It's unnecessary and unwanted, there's no fun or good in that.
Author TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Long day at work today. This thread made me laugh. A lot. Good luck with that. Thanks, and good luck on your life of sacrifice. I can see I'm more of a hedonist, but a responsible one. And I can see some of the tohers are more of a budhist life of suffering and sacrifice perspective.
Author TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 In my case, he would not be as happy if he still lived in my home town and I would not be happy if he treated my son like a side note he should not have any dealings with instead of a part of sharing a life with me. Necessary sacrifice to ensure happiness can come in the form of many things. Say you are dating a girl in med school and she gets her residency in city you are not so enthused about living in but everything about the relationship has been so rosy that you've moved in together at some point. If you ARE able to secure employment in the city she needs to move to but have never found yourself wanting to live there, should she not take the residency just to stay with you? Or if she developed a health issue that required your excellent GF to take medication for one to three years that drastically decreased her sex drive, would you bow out over it because she chose to take the treatment? Or you get married to the perfect partner for you and 10 years down the road she has to have a double mastectomy but choses to not get implants and corrective plastic surgery....do you bounce off? Her mother dies leaving behind her senile father who cannot care for himself and she needs to take him in because she hates the idea of putting him in a home. Is that a deal breaker? These are all life altering situations that you either make the sacrifice to support your partner in to keep the relationship together. I'm sure every guy would PREFER to have a partner with a high sex drive, both titties, and no senile father milling about 24/7, but telling an otherwise compatible mate they cannot do what they think is right because you don't believe any sacrifice on your part is wise is a real cold way to live. The thing is in all you examples those were legitimate reasons to consider whether or not to "sacrifice". What I'm saying is there's no need to make sacrifices for a woman not acting like a pornstar, or for drama, nagging and complaining. Apples and oranges.
Walk Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 You get my company and everything that goes along with it. the same as I get. I actually do have a brother and few available male friends too. Although none of them re as cool as me . Not enough. You get porn star and all it entails. I get what... you? And that's it? Actually, my bf treats me like a godess... ergo, he gets pornstar whenever he desires. You, my little pet, get nothing because you refuse to give anything in return. I don't understand why men feel they deserve the best just because they're capable of scratching their balls.
Author TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Not enough. You get porn star and all it entails. I get what... you? And that's it? Actually, my bf treats me like a godess... ergo, he gets pornstar whenever he desires. You, my little pet, get nothing because you refuse to give anything in return. I don't understand why men feel they deserve the best just because they're capable of scratching their balls. What can I tell you, ot works for me. Guys who treat girls like goddesses and get nothing are a dime a dozen, and even when they do get something for it, they're not unique guys anyway.
sally4sara Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 What can I tell you, ot works for me. Guys who treat girls like goddesses and get nothing are a dime a dozen, and even when they do get something for it, they're not unique guys anyway. I beg to differ, mine treats me very well and everywhere he has lived, you need only mention his name and they'll spend all night telling stories about him. He is a reformed jerk. So there is hope for you and your cronies yet Fonz! I guess some just figure out sooner than others. I met him just before his 24th bday.
Trimmer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Yes, how else would I possibly be getting what I want unless things were happening the way I want them to? So you're getting what you want. Obviously then, the women with whom you are finding success dig you. More power to you, brother. Are you feeling insecure about this, is that why you're pining for outside validation? Just wondering why you're asking, when it sounds like you already have the answer right in your lap...
Author TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 So you're getting what you want. Obviously then, the women with whom you are finding success dig you. More power to you, brother. Are you feeling insecure about this, is that why you're pining for outside validation? Just wondering why you're asking, when it sounds like you already have the answer right in your lap... I think I've already answer that in this thread. It seems like you might've been the one to ask me that before.
Walk Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 What can I tell you, ot works for me. Guys who treat girls like goddesses and get nothing are a dime a dozen, and even when they do get something for it, they're not unique guys anyway. Treating someone like a goddess does not mean be clingly, wimpy, needy, insecure, non-confrontational, or afraid of change. Those types are a dime a dozen. Sorry if that confused you. Guess I have a different definition of the word then you do.
Taramere Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 My way of doing things is as follows. I want a girl who is young and hot who will act like a pornstar/stripper on day1. After that and in the down time whenever she's not behaving in the role as my personal pornstar, I just want her to be agreeable and not nag, judge, or demand anything other than mutual company. In other words, just enjoy and value my company when she's not acting like a pornstar. And if she agrees to see me when I want to see her and does the preceding, then we have a relationship. What's wrong with doing things that way? There's nothing wrong with fantasising about a partner who makes all your dreams come true without having any distracting/conflicting needs of their own. As long as those fantasies don't hinder your ability to cope with reality.
youngandhopeful Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 i think you first need to respect women, then re-take your approach, cause at the moment, your attitude is all wrong. If i was a girl, i'dslap you.
Lauriebell82 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 (edited) My way of doing things is as follows. I want a girl who is young and hot who will act like a pornstar/stripper on day1. After that and in the down time whenever she's not behaving in the role as my personal pornstar, I just want her to be agreeable and not nag, judge, or demand anything other than mutual company. In other words, just enjoy and value my company when she's not acting like a pornstar. And if she agrees to see me when I want to see her and does the preceding, then we have a relationship. What's wrong with doing things that way? Sounds like you want some kind of Stepford Wife. Unless you are Matthew Broderick, I'd get back to reality dude. W What about HER opinions and wants..sounds like you just want her to satisfy YOUR needs..what about hers? They don't matter apparently as long as you are happy and satisfied..good luck finding a woman who is agreeable to THAT!!! Edited April 3, 2008 by Lauriebell82
DanielMadr Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Sounds like you want some kind of Stepford Wife. Unless you are Matthew Broderick, I'd get back to reality dude. W What about HER opinions and wants..sounds like you just want her to satisfy YOUR needs..what about hers? They don't matter apparently as long as you are happy and satisfied..good luck finding a woman who is agreeable to THAT!!! To be honest, most couples I know live in horror movie. And the continous nagging of some girls on LS, at work, on bus,..... is really getting on my nerves too. Some LALA land is quite a fresh air, even if its unreal.
Lauriebell82 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 To be honest, most couples I know live in horror movie. And the continous nagging of some girls on LS, at work, on bus,..... is really getting on my nerves too. Some LALA land is quite a fresh air, even if its unreal. Men nag too, they just don't see it as nagging. I guarantee the OP would get pissed off is this fanstasy didn't do his bidding...what would happen then? MEN!
Author TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Treating someone like a goddess does not mean be clingly, wimpy, needy, insecure, non-confrontational, or afraid of change. Those types are a dime a dozen. Sorry if that confused you. Guess I have a different definition of the word then you do. You're right treating someone like a goddess doesn't mean that if the person receiving that treatment appreciates it and reciprocates it. But if someone treats you well and the other person doesn't reciprocate then it's only right and fair for the other person to be upset.
Author TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 i think you first need to respect women, then re-take your approach, cause at the moment, your attitude is all wrong. If i was a girl, i'dslap you. And I would say you need to first learn to respect yourself before you can truely respect women and they can respect you.
Author TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Sounds like you want some kind of Stepford Wife. Unless you are Matthew Broderick, I'd get back to reality dude. W I'm better than Mathew Broderick and my girl better think so too. What about HER opinions and wants..sounds like you just want her to satisfy YOUR needs..what about hers? They don't matter apparently as long as you are happy and satisfied..good luck finding a woman who is agreeable to THAT!!! That's like saying no woman can be happy as long as her man's happy. I don't share your view of the definition of healthy relationships.
Author TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 To be honest, most couples I know live in horror movie. And the continous nagging of some girls on LS, at work, on bus,..... is really getting on my nerves too. Some LALA land is quite a fresh air, even if its unreal. Yes you can lead a nagging horse to water but you can't make it drink, I guess. The good new is a few aren't nags.
Author TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Men nag too, they just don't see it as nagging. I guarantee the OP would get pissed off is this fanstasy didn't do his bidding...what would happen then? MEN! I would conclude that she's not a good catch, what else is there to conclude? If you don't give a person areason to complain, then they won't complain. Unless they're just a complainer.
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