stlnsmile Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Well finding out my ex was cheating on me, and with someone new, as hard as it was, actually turned out to be extremely freeing, its like I can let go now. I don't have to try anymore, and this sort of paranoia about he's watching everything I do.....thats gone too. I saw him today, and he's lost a bunch of weight and didn't look good, and I just sort of looked him over, very quickly of course, and I just wasn't attracted to him anymore. And its not because he has someone else, although, that does help, but......I was just thinking, what did I ever see in him? I don't even think he's that handsom anymore. And I swear it was like a 50 lb. bar bell was lifted off of my back. I'm still not really ready to date anyone seriously, because now I am just scared, and I am still putting in time to me, making friends, and living for me......I lived for him wayyyyy tooo long. But I hope I will feel ready someday. Right now I am just focusing on school and me and my friends. Just wanted to let you all know that at 3 months and 3 weeks.......all is good.
becky001555 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 That's really good that you are feeling better i hope to get there someday my ex didn't cheat on me but he broke up with me on valntine's and im just heartbroken all the same and it is so good to hear that you are concentrating on school! my college work has suffered really badly because of my break-up and this jepodise's my chance of getting into university i just need the motivation to concentrate on that rather than him! Anyway glad to hear that all is okay xx
Author stlnsmile Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 That's really good that you are feeling better i hope to get there someday my ex didn't cheat on me but he broke up with me on valntine's and im just heartbroken all the same and it is so good to hear that you are concentrating on school! my college work has suffered really badly because of my break-up and this jepodise's my chance of getting into university i just need the motivation to concentrate on that rather than him! Anyway glad to hear that all is okay xx Yeah, it is really really hard to concentrate on school work at first, I remember being in such a fog.....I swear, I really don't remember doing my work, I just went through the motions of doing my work....I was dazed, literally. It took about 8 weeks I think to come out of the daze...but then I was hurt and confused and looking for answers......it just takes time..all of it.....to process it, and get through it. I mean even today was weird, because today was the first day that I knew, and I mean really knew that I would never ever ever take him back......you know guys usually come back.....and I think girls hang on to that.....but this was so different.....I knew in the bottom of my soul he would never be a part of my life ever again, even if he asked......and it was like a second death. I cried.....but it wasn't the in pain tears, it was the, "I know for the rest of my life that this person will never be in it", I already know he is not going to be in my life, but this was different, I'm trying to find the words.......this was forever.......and I knew it was true. Thats all I can say. And I was okay with it. But sad almost for him more than myself, because I do know, no matter what, that he cared about my friendship, and I think its gonna really hurt him later on when he wakes up and realizes he's lost his friend. I'm not saying that because I think I'm so special, I just know him, and he's running, and when he finally figures out he's not being chased, and even worse, that it truly is, forever and ever, gone....and when he realises that he lost his very best friend, I don't think he's going to be able to live with himself......but ya know, I don't care anymore, and that truly is the point.......I've let gooooooo. He is free to the Universe for whatever it holds for him.
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