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What makes guys decide if a hook up is a one time or multiple time thing?

my body is a cage

By my body is a cage
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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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Say, in a college scenario, for example...

 

thanks! :)

smoothtalker New Member

smoothtalker

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Whether the connection made with you prior to sex was purely sexual, combined with his other available options of women to be with, and his original intent, which he may or may not have masked.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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so a guy wouldnt hook up with a girl repeatedly if he were only sexually interested in her?

TheFonz Established Member

TheFonz

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so a guy wouldnt hook up with a girl repeatedly if he were only sexually interested in her?

 

Yes he would. The simple answer is what determines if a guy decides if a hook up is a ONS or a budding relation, assuming a guy is even open to a relationship whatsoever, is essentially dependent on if the girl is relationship material. No amount of hard to get or other tactics is really going to change that. Only being relationship material and picking the right guy will.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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Yes he would. The simple answer is what determines if a guy decides if a hook up is a ONS or a budding relation, assuming a guy is even open to a relationship whatsoever, is essentially dependent on if the girl is relationship material. No amount of hard to get or other tactics is really going to change that. Only being relationship material and picking the right guy will.

 

oooh now it all makes sense... :rolleyes:

\haha

 

and what exactly makes a girl relationship material?

TheFonz Established Member

TheFonz

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oooh now it all makes sense... :rolleyes:

\haha

 

Glad I could help :)

 

and what exactly makes a girl relationship material?

 

Her looks, personality, and her attitude. If you want to be more specific, you have to consider the specific guy/girl in question.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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Ok, so is an "independent, non-clingy I don't expect anything from you just because we hooked up but I will still be friendly and mature and see where it goes'" attitude a good one?

TheFonz Established Member

TheFonz

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Ok, so is an "independent, non-clingy I don't expect anything from you just because we hooked up but I will still be friendly and mature and see where it goes'" attitude a good one?

 

 

Yes and if that doesn't work you need to find another guy.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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k, thanks!

D-Jam Established Member

D-Jam

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Say, in a college scenario, for example...

 

thanks! :)

 

I'd say if he liked the sex and she's eye-candy enough to show her off at events...then it goes multiple.

 

Hook-up is what it is...just sex and not much more to it.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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hm ok interresting. anything else?

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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anything more?

Cobra_X30

Cobra_X30

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anything more?

 

How much effort it took.

 

Never discount the elbow grease requirement.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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One time and multiple hookups, are all about sex and not much more, although the multiple hookups have a very small chance of becoming something more. Neither is optimum, if you're looking for a relationship. Better to move on and find yourself relationship material, than trying to hold someone using sex, as the weapon. When you're a hookup, there isn't much respect involved.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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How much effort it took.

 

Never discount the elbow grease requirement.

 

meaning... working for it is good?

Cobra_X30

Cobra_X30

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meaning... working for it is good?

 

It creates value.

 

Think about it. You appreciate the things you work for and earn more than you do the stuff your just given right? This is no different.

 

So, your in college now?

 

Are you in another FWB situation?

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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ahh you remember me??

 

haha yeah im in college now its sooo much better than high school :)

 

idk when the last time i posted about the situation during senior year was. it got kind of crazy, and ive been ignoring that kids phone calls since october (and stopped hanging out with them way before that) but he still calls me from time to time (even though im at school and hes at home...).

 

and no, i dont quite have another FWB. i dated this guy first semester but we were good friends first and nothing was ambiguous but that didnt work out.

 

and i just hooked up (no sex) with this guy ive kind of had a crush on for a while, and im not sure where things are gonna go/ where i even want them to go.

Cobra_X30

Cobra_X30

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ahh you remember me??

haha yeah im in college now its sooo much better than high school :)

idk when the last time i posted about the situation during senior year was. it got kind of crazy, and ive been ignoring that kids phone calls since october (and stopped hanging out with them way before that) but he still calls me from time to time (even though im at school and hes at home...).

and no, i dont quite have another FWB. i dated this guy first semester but we were good friends first and nothing was ambiguous but that didnt work out.

and i just hooked up (no sex) with this guy ive kind of had a crush on for a while, and im not sure where things are gonna go/ where i even want them to go.

 

Totally. That reminded me of my high school days like no one else. I was friends with some messed up kids back then.

 

I'm really glad you have moved on. Try not to talk to that guy. He is bad news.

 

Best advice... make this other guy work a bit. Flirt with him like there is no tomorrow, but move slow. If he is really into you then he will put in the effort to develop a connection first.

 

Otherwise... he probably just wants to hit it and quit it.

 

First year in college I refused to date my female friends. Wouldn't recommend that route.

 

Good to hear from you!

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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thanks for the advice!

 

yeah, weve been flirting for a while before this happened. i left a bunch of my stuff in his room, including alcohol, so i texted him two days later saying 'hey i left my bacardi and some other things in your room... can i come pick it up at some point/ dont drink it all please?' and he texted me back 'i drank it all. are you in your room?' and i said 'haha yes' and then she showed up with all my stuff. aaaaand i havent seen him since then ahha

 

im worried about seeming too aggressive if hes not down for another hook up tho, but i guess ill just try being friendly and to read him.

DanielMadr Established Member

DanielMadr

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Ok, so is an "independent, non-clingy I don't expect anything from you just because we hooked up but I will still be friendly and mature and see where it goes'" attitude a good one?

 

Independent is sort of wobbly. It is better if you want to be FWB.

Relationship material....you need to show you are warm caring, giving person - person who is pleasure to be around all day.

Cobra_X30

Cobra_X30

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thanks for the advice!

yeah, weve been flirting for a while before this happened. i left a bunch of my stuff in his room, including alcohol, so i texted him two days later saying 'hey i left my bacardi and some other things in your room... can i come pick it up at some point/ dont drink it all please?' and he texted me back 'i drank it all. are you in your room?' and i said 'haha yes' and then she showed up with all my stuff. aaaaand i havent seen him since then ahha

im worried about seeming too aggressive if hes not down for another hook up tho, but i guess ill just try being friendly and to read him.

 

 

Let him make the move. You just make sure he knows that he owes you some Bacardi!

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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Let him make the move. You just make sure he knows that he owes you some Bacardi!

 

hahah nooo he was kidding about drinking it, he hadnt drank any of it ha

Cobra_X30

Cobra_X30

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hahah nooo he was kidding about drinking it, he hadnt drank any of it ha

 

See that's where your wrong! You should playfully make him understand that, you KNOW some of the rum was missing... and that he owes you at least a shot!

 

Let him make the moves... just be patient and be receptive.

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my body is a cage Established Member

my body is a cage

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hm so last night i found out he hooked up with another girl three nights before me...

 

that means i should drop it, right?

 

sigh. no fair that guys only get benefits from hooking up with as many girls as possible while girls make themselves emotionally, physically, AND socially vulnerable. whats a lonely girl to do... become a nun?

Cobra_X30

Cobra_X30

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hm so last night i found out he hooked up with another girl three nights before me...

that means i should drop it, right?

sigh. no fair that guys only get benefits from hooking up with as many girls as possible while girls make themselves emotionally, physically, AND socially vulnerable. whats a lonely girl to do... become a nun?

 

Naw, just throw him on the backburner! Three days before you is different than three days after you! Maybe the other girl couldn't capture his interest.;)

 

No complaining about gender roles! I've got a list of gripes myself. Best to just work with the system we are given. Worry about changing the rules later. :laugh:

 

The social system in college is a lot different. No parents, constant flow of new temptations. Just take it easy and enjoy things as they come. I've always heard that you find the best guys once you stop looking. Right now you just want to get an idea of what you need from one, with the understanding that in 6 years your needs will be different.

 

I'm 28 and what I want/need is very different from I was 18. Try to keep that in the back of your mind, as it may prevent some big mistakes.

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