jeffrey_e Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Hello, It's only been 3 months and the divorce agreement gets signed this week then off to the judge. I got the house and just moved back in. Two of my boys, ages 19 and 22, came to help their mom move out and into her appartment, they both live out of the area. Then they spent a few hours with me at the house. However moving their mother into her appt. hurt the boys. It hurt them beacuse she told them about the new love of her life. An old friend from high school who has always been in love with her. At her appt. she had a very large bouquet of flowers. They couldnt help but over hear her say on the phone, "Jeffrey never gave anything like this". My boys went nuts and she cant figure out why they are so upset. "But he wants to meet you". " Why can't you be happy for me?" This is how I spent my first night alone back in the house. Knowing I have angry and hurt children, who went back home, a soon to be ex who after 27 years realized she hasnt loved me for a very long time and within 4 days of our separation tells this guy she loves him. They've already been to Hawaii. For a week. Its so hard being here. I'm trying to help myself. I started changing the master bedroom. I removed all the bedroom carpet and the racks from the closet and I'm about to paint and put down laminate flooring. I bought a new mattress which comes next monday. I dont know what else to do. I dont miss her at all but Im so hurt. I feel discarded like these 27 years meant nothing to her. I asked her to please deal with her boxed wedding dress before she moved out. She left it and when I pressed the matter she said give it to good will. I'm crying here. This happened so fast. All of it is happening so fast. Next thing I know she'll be engagged to this guy. I feel so sick. I feel so used. I did everything to make her happy but then I realized that happiness comes from within and not from pleasure. I'm not the one who needs a vacation every 3 months because I need something to look forward to. But I'm lonely, scared and surrounded by all these ghosts in this house. We shared so many memories. Ive taken down all of the pictures with her in it. I took down most of the art work. How do I get past this? How do I get past all this hurt? I have friends but they cant help me through this. I got a shrink but she can only do so much. It's not like I'm not going to make it here. It's just that I'm so freaked out. This house was once filled with laughter and excitment. Now its just so quiet. Even with the stereo on its quiet. Some one please talk to me?
inshock Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 My story is your story. My husband of 22 years (27 total) has been having an affair for 7 years. Dec 28th he moved in with her. I live here with my mom,grandchild,great grand child and 2 people rent my basement and its still lonely. I cant imagine doing it really alone. I will tell you that Im better about sleeping alone.Ive started my own routines. I have changed alot of stuff in the house just so it will feel more mine. I do miss my husband and we are both struggling with what hes doing. Stay busy,stay connected with people,and remember time is a great healer. I too feel like a used up rag doll that was thrown away.It sucks but Im slowing finding out its all on him and not me. I wish you well my friend
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