SuperHands Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Hi guys, Haven't posted here in a while. Sorry for that.Hope you are all doing alright. Well here goes with my later story, Sorry is a bit long, please bear with me, I could really do with some opinions here. I find myself rather hacked off, bemused and a bit down at the moment. I've been dating for a while now and met 4 girls. 2 of which I was definitley not interested in. Lovely girls but just didn't hold interest for me. One girl I saw 4 times (I will call her natalie). She was really lovely. I got on very well and felt very comfortable with her, but at the time i kinda felt it lacked a bit of excitement and fun. At the same time as seeing her, I was talking to another girl (I will call her jane). In contact via email and texting. Neither girl I was sleeping with, so I don't consider myself to be doing anything wrong here. Jane is more lively. She's totally into the same things as me, music, films, cars, etc. She also has a wicked sense of humour, which is just like mine. Even before i met her, i grew very fond her. Made me laugh and very happy. The way we talked, just made me feel that a relationship was inevitable between us, though I did throw a little caution into play as I knew we hadn't met face to face. I kinda lost interest in natalie after getting to know Jane more. We just drifted apart and didn't arrange to see each other. However after talking to my, very happily married, sister a week and a half ago, she almost scorned me for not carrying on with natalie and described to me what it was really like to meet the right person and I just kept thinking, bugger, this is natalie. My family, friends and others keep saying to me, that when you really meet the right person, you often don't know it at first. That true love is not about excitement, fun or passion, it's just about complete and utter respect for another person. I can kinda see the point here. However i met jane last Friday and had a brilliant date with her. We got on superb, had a great laugh. We exchanged texts many times afterwards, all of which suggested everything was good and that she was really very interested in having a relationship with me. Now last night I asked jane out again over msn. She accepted and we arranged to meet. Just before I was about to shoot off to bed, she suddenly announced that she was "looking forward to going out as friend". Obviously I was like 'what the hell?'. And then got it out of her that she truly did just want to stay friends. Well i went from happy chappy to world upside down. I had that terrible sinking feeling. It was awful. I'm just totally gob smacked that i've been rejected. I was so totally sure that this would turn into something. Can't really believe she's rejected me, but i've just got this nagging feeling that she possibly does want a relationship with me, but there is some other hidden reason why she wants to stay friends at the moment. Maybe she is nervous about having a relationship for some reason, or feels i'm coming in too fast. She's certainly happy to see me again as we are still going out on our planned meeting together and actually seemed dead concerned that we still go. Is this something girls do sometimes? Should i just take this answer as no and start looking elsewhere? Also maybe natalie is a better bet for me? Any help on this would be appreciated. I'm not going out of my mind or anything, but i'm certainly down in the dumps.
Winfield Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) However i met jane last Friday and had a brilliant date with her. We got on superb, had a great laugh. We exchanged texts many times afterwards, all of which suggested everything was good and that she was really very interested in having a relationship with me. ^^ But - did she say that, or are you reading "between the lines" and perceiving that's what she said? Anyhow, IMO, you've not been rejected - I think she just wants to take things more slowly... Perhaps she's had her own hopes dashed in the past by guys she thought she got along with, but found out (over time) she didn't? You didn't interrogate her about the "friends" thing she mentioned, did you? If you did, I fear she may think that you're coming on too strong. If you haven't, I wouldn't bring this subject up in the future with her... Just take your next meeting for what it is - a fun night out with someone you get along well with. If anything's going to happen beyond that, it'll happen whether you like it (or not) and will develop in its own time... As for getting back with Natalie - well, from what you've written, your heart doesn't exactly seem to be in it. IMO, if you got back with her, things would only lead to resentment... If things don't work out with Jane, why not forget both her and Natalie, wipe the slate clean, and start from scratch? Good luck! Edited April 1, 2008 by Winfield Yeah, yeah, penalise me for making 1 typo, lol!
Author SuperHands Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 No she didn't say it precisely. So I was definitley reading between the lines. I guess I should hold back on some of my thoughts. But what can I say, I've always had an over active imagination and analyse things to much. Not much I can do about that apart from maybe electro therapy or something. I've just been speaking to my sister again (she is my wise guru) and she pretty much said exactly what you did winfield. It's always good to get opinions from those who are not emotionally involved in a situation, so I can see things a little clearly now. I didn't hassle her about the friends thing at all. I just asked her to be clear and when she confirmed, as upset as I was, I just thanked her for being honest but admitted I was a little gutted and left it at that. So yeah my plan is now just to go out with her tomorrow and act as if we were friends. I won't flirt anymore, or act as if i am after her. I'll just be pleasant, have a good time and come home. If she's actually interested then she will contact me afterwards. She knows i like her alot, so it's really just about putting the ball in her court. I'll keep you posted. Cheers
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