smileysmile Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) Just wondering here. How many of you bottle up your feelings of pain and hurt? You don't show your vulnerable side. People think you are coping well because you keep all your pain and hurt bottled up? I have a female friend who is 36 and has a 5 yr old daughter. I have known her only for 6 mths but she knows my situation and I am not ready for a R like she is. She was in a 10 yr relationship/marriage whereby they broke up and divorced when her 5 yr old was 2 yrs old. The first year of her being single she never once dated. It is only in the last 2 years whereby she has had 2 very short relationships. One 5 mths and the other 2 mths. The 5 mth R the guy was on the rebound. The 2 mth was ended because she thought he was odd! lol Anyway, she only recently said to me that bottles her feelings (hurt and pain) and people think she is coping well. But she isn't. She hates being single and wish she could find a nice genuine guy. Believe me she would be a good catch. She also said that she sometimes wishes that she could get feelings back for her ex husband (and father of her D). But of course she can't because he hurt her to much. Although they are friends now and especially as they have a D. She thinks most guys who hit on her are weird. She just can't find somebody she wants to be with (apart from me). Like I said I am not in the right frame of mind. So, I ask this question because I sure as hell don't bottle up my feelings. I am an open book and I think all my work colleagues are my counsellors lol I think it is good to talk but I sometimes wish I would shut it! I think it sometimes helps but I need to get it together. My STBXW bottles her feelings up. Her mum said whatever you did you HURT her. But I just don't see it. Her mum once told me she is like her dad. He keeps things bottled up until your ready to blow! The worse I saw my ex was the end of February. I never saw her look so strained in the face and cold sores on her upper lip. First thing she said when she saw my reaction was "stress!" I felt sad. Her dad was going through heart surgery so I gathered that alone would cause her stress. Also over the months my ex has had a bad cough, colds, chest infection etc and by bottling up her stress has weakened her immune system. Baring in mind she is holding down a job 3 days a week and looking after our D. But she doesn't talk about it. So, nobody can surely be this cold towards there ex eh? They are 'hurting' and are 'seething' inside everytime they see the one who caused them the pain. But they just don't want you to see it. It would be interesting to hear from you bottlers Edited April 1, 2008 by smileysmile
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