Author elizabethjune Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 The friend is not married, he's kind of an idiot too to be honest. Um, oh and he did go to the dr. today and the doc did a urine test but the doc told him that he probably doesn't have it b/c he would know if he did. doc said the symptoms are very noticeable in men. He had other things to talk to the doc about too so when he told me all this he tried to make the other stuff much more important and just kind of slid right by that. Anyway, I'll get to my dr. before the end of the week and I'll write down everybody's questions. So now I'm pretty much a BS, wonder if I should become a CS as well? Does anybody out there start cheating b/c their spouse is cheating? I know that's just asking for a nightmare and it should probably be it's own separate thread, but I'm curious as to your thoughts.
Author elizabethjune Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 While it is unlikely that he has it, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He could be ignorant of STD transmission. It could also be that his friend is playing a trick on him That's a really refreshing point of view. Far fetched but appreciated. I do trust my gut, however hubby just denies, denies, denies....this won't be the first time I've asked him if he's cheating.
JamesM Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 The friend is not married, he's kind of an idiot too to be honest. Um, oh and he did go to the dr. today and the doc did a urine test but the doc told him that he probably doesn't have it b/c he would know if he did. doc said the symptoms are very noticeable in men. He had other things to talk to the doc about too so when he told me all this he tried to make the other stuff much more important and just kind of slid right by that. Anyway, I'll get to my dr. before the end of the week and I'll write down everybody's questions. So now I'm pretty much a BS, wonder if I should become a CS as well? Does anybody out there start cheating b/c their spouse is cheating? I know that's just asking for a nightmare and it should probably be it's own separate thread, but I'm curious as to your thoughts. Actually chlamydia can have no symptoms. Did his doctor tell you this or did your husband? What else would be more than an STD to him? And if you have suspected him of cheating before then I think that is why you are suspicious now. He may be cheating, but don't resign yourself to the fact until you have more info. No, cheating is never the answer. It will not solve anything, and you will feel worse about yourself.
Author elizabethjune Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Actually chlamydia can have no symptoms. Did his doctor tell you this or did your husband? No, cheating is never the answer. It will not solve anything, and you will feel worse about yourself. Thanks for the link that was very helpful. His dr. told him and he told me about the no symptoms. But when he told me he spec. said that "men would notice it, women may not". His doc didn't even want to test him at first though b/c he dismissed it. I know cheating back is not the answer but it' so tempting sometimes especially when you feel you are being wronged. Ok, that will be my mantra until I pass the temptation "cheating is bad, I'll feel worse about myself".
D-Lish Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 STD's do not linger on beer mugs. I just happened to be talking to my dad on the phone who is an MD and I mentioned this.... he laughed. Yes, it's weird- but I can ask my dad things like that. Clymidia (sp) doesn't manifest that quickly- and more often than not- it has no symptoms at all. Yes- you can get oral STD transmissions.... but through actual sexual contact and skin to skin contact. Ie: you can infect yourself or others with herpes by touching an infected area and then touching another area. A virus can live on the skin, as can bacteria- but on a beer glass? A couple things might have occured. Your friends buddy knows he has it and is naive and panicked and has worried your also naive husband needlessly. Or your husband has been cheating and he has gotten a call from his mistress to say she has it and wanted to inform him. Thus- he has thought up a plan to explain things away. Get tested.
Lizzie60 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 So my husband calls me today at work and says he just received an unusual call from his guy friend that he hangs out with. (I know the guy friend too from school). Apparently while he was out with his buddy Sat. night, his bud had just finished oral on a girl. Husband and buddy then proceeded to drink together and he drank after his friend. Today buddy finds out the girl had an STD and tells hubby to get tested since he drank after him. WTF? Let me know your thoughts please. Is that even possible? Sounds to me like my husband has an OW who found out she has an STD and he thought up this grand story so he can tell me to get tested. But I'm willing to hear other people's thoughts before I flip out. my guess: April's Fool..
NotMyselfNEmore Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 My first thought: "Eeewwww" My second thought: "Ewwww, Ewwwww!!" You mean to tell me that your husband drank a beer after his buddy who happens to have "just" finished eating a kitty? Come'on!!! I mean, unless your husband just wanted to live vicariously through his friend and enjoys sharing the kitty taste, I would say he's just making up a story to justify STD testing. My guess: No buddy here. Your husband is into stray cats!
Siciliana Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 As part of that 90% of the people on the planet with Complex 2. While I will agree that one in 4-5 people are carries of the HSV 1 or 2, I am a bit doubtful of the percentage you are claiming to be carriers.
lovelorcet Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Herpes is a virus! Can't hepatitis B also be spread via saliva? Still, the infectious dose is going to be a factor there. Not likely enough to be on a glass to be infectious. I'd call BS and ask for more details. Get tested. Just to clear this up, Hepatitis A is passed through a fecal oral route. This means someone who didn't wash their hands after going to the bathroom then handles your food... Hepatitis B is transmitted like HIV meaning a blood and sexual contact route.
BetrayedMM Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 While I will agree that one in 4-5 people are carries of the HSV 1 or 2, I am a bit doubtful of the percentage you are claiming to be carriers. The confusion is over which variety. HSV 1 is the 'cold sore' variety, and most of the population does indeed carry it. It can show up down below if it's transferred there, but it's much more likely to show up as cold sores around the mouth. HSV 2 is known as genital herpes, most of the population does not carry it. It can show up around the mouth if transferred there, but it's much more likely to reside below the waist. Both require direct skin to skin contact. No sores necessary, although that would certainly make it easier for the virus to enter the body. Now, the chlamydia thing, that's just not the way it gets passed along. AFIK you need direct contact. No toilet seats, beer, handshakes, mosquitoes, sneezing, sitting beside them, none of that. One of the reasons these diseases are known as sexually transmitted is because they can't live outside the body. One warm breathing human body has to have direct sexual contact with another to exchange these diseases. I seriously doubt they could survive direct contact with alcohol. I would think that anyone claiming to get an STD through some method other than sex is lying. You get them by having sex with someone who has them.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Well, that utter load of pure bull about he and his buddy SHARING a drink of beer is quite possibly the most ridiculous excuse EVER used. I don't think I've EVER seen two guys 'sharing' a beer mug or drinking from the same beer bottle. What a load of rubbish. Are the two of them so freakin' poor that they can only afford ONE beer between the two of them? Jesus. Tell him he's got to think of a more plausible LIE than that one, because that one is just TOO far-fetched for words. We won't even go INTO the ridiculous story of some buddy of your H's giving oral to a woman and then RUNNING to the bar while the Clymidia is STILL clinging to his tongue, then the TWO of them SHARE a beer and oops - all of a sudden hubby's got Clymidia. Complete and UTTER bullsh*t.
GreenEyedLady Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 So these two men drank out of the same beer mug? Yeahhh, right. Don't think so. Chances are this girl had cold sores while giving them head. Sorry to be blunt. Theoretically, you could get cold sores on your mouth from someone with an active cold sore...This type of exposure happens in places with lots of kids drinking after each other and one has an open cold sore...But it's unlikely... If he's telling you that he thinks you'll get a cold sore, I find it highly unbelievable that it happened the way he's describing... If the chick gave him head, and you had sex with him after, it's more likely you'll get Genital Herpes, not cold sores... I don't know that every clinic tests for herpes...From what I've read, you just get an outbreak...There is a test, but they don't do it very often...I think you have usually about 2 weeks after exposure to the virus and then get an outbreak...How long has it been? You should get tested though...It's likely that you may have contracted something else as well... So sorry that you're having to worry about this...
Chinook Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I'm a nurse. You cannot - I repeat - CANNOT - contract Chlamydia from a beer mug. Chlamydia needs the nice warm environment and smooth surfaces of the genitalia to be passed on. Your H is lying to you. Sorry.
norajane Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Whoa lol sorry. A little thing called work got in the way for me today. He told me chlamydia, not herpes. God this is so gross but I really appreciate everybody's support. I was so po'd when I did the post I didn't expect that kind of respone and mostly positive support I've received. Ugh, this sucks. Why did he tell you chlamydia? That's not something you just pull out of a hat - that's very specific. So, his friend was with a girl that he KNEW had chlamydia, licked her kitty, shared beer with your hubby, but only NOW does friend feel the need to get tested himself? Or friend didn't know she had chlamydia, she told him later, and that's when friend called your hubby to tell him he could have caught it from sharing a beer? This whole story is all shades of bs.
JamesM Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Why did he tell you chlamydia? That's not something you just pull out of a hat - that's very specific. It is also quite likely that he knows he has it, and is preparing you for the inevitable.
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I'm a nurse. You cannot - I repeat - CANNOT - contract Chlamydia from a beer mug. Chlamydia needs the nice warm environment and smooth surfaces of the genitalia to be passed on. Your H is lying to you. Sorry. I'm sorry too. Please go see your family doctor and get yourself checked.
NoIDidn't Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 While I will agree that one in 4-5 people are carries of the HSV 1 or 2, I am a bit doubtful of the percentage you are claiming to be carriers. Those weren't my numbers. I was just using what someone else on the thread used to avoid confusion. I don't know if its 2 or 1. I just get the occasional cold sore when its hot or I'm stressed. So I know how long it can lie dormant - I can go years without one. And most of the population does have it. I just don't know the exact numbers. Sorry for any confusion.
sarme Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Those weren't my numbers. I was just using what someone else on the thread used to avoid confusion. I don't know if its 2 or 1. I just get the occasional cold sore when its hot or I'm stressed. So I know how long it can lie dormant - I can go years without one. And most of the population does have it. I just don't know the exact numbers. Sorry for any confusion. Most of the population does not have cold sores, again not sure where you get your stats from!?!? Most means the majority, for the record.
NoIDidn't Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Most of the population does not have cold sores, again not sure where you get your stats from!?!? Most means the majority, for the record. You know, if you could READ the post that you quoted, you wouldn't have wasted the post. It didn't say that most of the population had cold sores.
a-sweetart Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Most of the population does not have cold sores, again not sure where you get your stats from!?!? Most means the majority, for the record. Actually MOST of the population in the US are carriers of the herpes virus. Just not everyone shows symptoms. By the time Americans become teenagers or young adults, about 50% have HSV-1 antibodies in their blood and by the time Americans are over age 50, some 80-90% of Americans have HSV-1 antibodies. Corey L and Handsfield H H. Gential Herpes and Public Health: Affressing a Global Problem. JAMA 2000 (Feb); 283[6] 791-794.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 No benefit of the doubt here. I'm going with Occam's razor on this one. I just find it hard to believe that a married guy would go out in public with strange p*ssy on his face, much less enough of it to coat the lip of a beer mug. Married guys are usually more careful than that - they generally wash away any evidence of outside sex to avoid getting busted. Even single guys will wash up before going out for the night - I don't see a guy walking around with a large amount of p*ssy on his face, period unless he has some sort of fetish for that sort of thing. And yes - even harder to imagine a man drinking after another man when he has beers of his own. You have been conned. I have heard some lame excuses for explaining away STD's but my guess is that it isn't your buddy that got laid by the STD chick, but your husband - and he is using his 'buddy' for (lame ass) cover. You definitely need a full battery of STD tests. If you have an STD I can guarantee you it didn't come from a beer mug. It came from OW.
Eggplants Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Is the husband referring to oral herpes only? If he's saying he caught genital herpes this way then his explanation is too funny!
blind_otter Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 If the guy had enough pussy juice on him to transfer an STD through sharing a beer mug, his face would have looked like a glazed donut.
Scrivdog Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 If the guy had enough pussy juice on him to transfer an STD through sharing a beer mug, his face would have looked like a glazed donut. Maybe the guy is too stupid to know that. Maybe all this is for naught. Just ask the husband to get tested. If he has nothing then it was no big deal. I'm assuming he would not have even brought it up unless he himself got tested secretly and came out positive.
Trimmer Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Is the husband referring to oral herpes only? If he's saying he caught genital herpes this way then his explanation is too funny! Well, his next twist, when he eventually has to fess up and explain that one away, will be that he transferred it oral-genital by giving himself oral... So buddy devours the kitty, runs down to the bar - without washing up - does what all guys do and shares a beer with H, then H runs home - without washing up - and gives himself oral. Yeah, that would explain it. Seriously though, I agree that there must be some truth that your husband is now aware of that he realizes has to come out at some point, and he's furiously building a scenario to try to explain it away once it's out. But the scenario he's building is a house of cards that depends on your own ignorance to stay standing. Once you start to question and think critically about it, it really comes apart, doesn't it? That's a really refreshing point of view. Far fetched but appreciated. I do trust my gut, however hubby just denies, denies, denies....this won't be the first time I've asked him if he's cheating. This really jumped out at me. What kinds of things have led you to suspect cheating in the past?
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