elizabethjune Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 So my husband calls me today at work and says he just received an unusual call from his guy friend that he hangs out with. (I know the guy friend too from school). Apparently while he was out with his buddy Sat. night, his bud had just finished oral on a girl. Husband and buddy then proceeded to drink together and he drank after his friend. Today buddy finds out the girl had an STD and tells hubby to get tested since he drank after him. WTF? Let me know your thoughts please. Is that even possible? Sounds to me like my husband has an OW who found out she has an STD and he thought up this grand story so he can tell me to get tested. But I'm willing to hear other people's thoughts before I flip out.
Owl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yep...he's coming up with a grandiose scam to justify getting tested. If you're not sure, pose the question to your family doctor...as a hypothetical question only, not using your H's name...and do it before your H talks with him. He'll verify that this is a load of malarky. Your H wants to get tested for some other reason than sharing drinks with his buddy.
jj2007 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 So my husband calls me today at work and says he just received an unusual call from his guy friend that he hangs out with. (I know the guy friend too from school). Apparently while he was out with his buddy Sat. night, his bud had just finished oral on a girl. Husband and buddy then proceeded to drink together and he drank after his friend. Today buddy finds out the girl had an STD and tells hubby to get tested since he drank after him. WTF? Let me know your thoughts please. Is that even possible? Sounds to me like my husband has an OW who found out she has an STD and he thought up this grand story so he can tell me to get tested. But I'm willing to hear other people's thoughts before I flip out. Your H is full of it! I agree with Owl, talk to your Doctor. Then I would investigate as to why you and your H need to be tested for STD's. Please get tested ASAP for your own safety. Then find out what is really going on. Good luck!
AppleV Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah that sounds well dodgy. And I think deep down you know the answer. ask your husband to go into detail about what STD is he talking about? And what the liklihood of it being transmitted from his friends beer to him, to you? even if it were true it would be extremely unlikely you would catch something this way. Once you tell him that, and that you dont think its worth worrying about, then you will know by his reaction. Then you can confront him about being honest with you, as this is about your sexual health not just his cheating. Can you ask the friend in question?
lovelorcet Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 What STD are we talking about here? I think that would make a difference in what your risk is IF what he is saying is true. Herpes for example could also be transmitted like this... But if he was really worried about herpes then he could have come up with a better story...
JamesM Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Serious question...can STD germs live after alcohol has washed over them? And getting an STD via a glass is kind rare, but it seems that yes, herpes is possibly spread that way. (There were other sites with the same info). http://www.teenhealthfx.com/answers/Sexuality/1037.html BTW, ask him to show you the results. If he was being tested for everything including HIV, then it would seem unlikely that he was only concerned about a drinking glass. On the other had, the fact that he told you kinda gives credence to his story IMO. If he really cheated on you, then he could have gone to a number of places and been tested anonymously.
JustBreathe Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 It sounds like bull. Why I think so... because i just looked it up on the internet and this is the info I gathered, with some embellishment of my own limited knowledge of herpes. The bacteria that causes herpes spreads via open sores. So in my mind, that would mean that the bacteria would have to have been passed first from the OW who had an open sore somewhere to the friend, and then his friend would have to have developed sores in his mouth almost immediately to have transmited the disease to your H via the glass. I couldn't find anything much about how long it takes a person to break out, but I think that it takes some time for the sores to develop after you've been exposed, and that the disease is only transmitted via open sores which ooze the stuff containing the bacteria. This supposedly happened Saturday. It is only Tuesday. If I understood what I read correctly, I think genital herpes is the only STD that could be passed by drinking after another person as the others require sexual intercourse. Please don't take my word for it, as I do not know for sure and the info on the net is always sketchy. I'm with those that say see a doctor as soon as possible and ask him whether he thinks your H's story might be true.
Lizzie60 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 So my husband calls me today at work and says he just received an unusual call from his guy friend that he hangs out with. (I know the guy friend too from school). Apparently while he was out with his buddy Sat. night, his bud had just finished oral on a girl. Husband and buddy then proceeded to drink together and he drank after his friend. Today buddy finds out the girl had an STD and tells hubby to get tested since he drank after him. WTF? Let me know your thoughts please. Is that even possible? Sounds to me like my husband has an OW who found out she has an STD and he thought up this grand story so he can tell me to get tested. But I'm willing to hear other people's thoughts before I flip out. My my .. is this April's Fool? I have to laugh ..because if you buy this excuse.. sorry but you're.. oh never mind.. He's full of 'chlamedya-sh*t'
sessuale Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 It sounds like bull. Why I think so... because i just looked it up on the internet and this is the info I gathered, with some embellishment of my own limited knowledge of herpes. The bacteria that causes herpes spreads via open sores. So in my mind, that would mean that the bacteria would have to have been passed first from the OW who had an open sore somewhere to the friend, and then his friend would have to have developed sores in his mouth almost immediately to have transmited the disease to your H via the glass. I couldn't find anything much about how long it takes a person to break out, but I think that it takes some time for the sores to develop after you've been exposed, and that the disease is only transmitted via open sores which ooze the stuff containing the bacteria. This supposedly happened Saturday. It is only Tuesday. If I understood what I read correctly, I think genital herpes is the only STD that could be passed by drinking after another person as the others require sexual intercourse. Please don't take my word for it, as I do not know for sure and the info on the net is always sketchy. I'm with those that say see a doctor as soon as possible and ask him whether he thinks your H's story might be true. Herpes is a virus! Can't hepatitis B also be spread via saliva? Still, the infectious dose is going to be a factor there. Not likely enough to be on a glass to be infectious. I'd call BS and ask for more details. Get tested.
JustBreathe Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah, sessuale, you're right. I don't know much about STD's, but do seem to recall there is one spread through saliva. I still think it's bogus. She needs to go to the doctor and see what he thinks. Testing definitely in order for everyone concerned.
Owl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Sure...that's a "possibility". Anyone here who really thinks that's the motivating reason behind his intent to get an STD test, please...stand on your head. Anyone? Anyone??? Q.E.D.
BetrayedMM Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah, herpes1, cold sores.(the saliva one) About 90% of the population of planet earth have it anyway. It CAN be an STD if it's transferred orally to genitals, but it prefers the mouth area. Sounds pretty much like a load of crap to me.
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Today buddy finds out the girl had an STD and tells hubby to get tested since he drank after him. WTF? Let me know your thoughts please. Is that even possible? Sounds to me like my husband has an OW who found out she has an STD and he thought up this grand story so he can tell me to get tested. But I'm willing to hear other people's thoughts before I flip out. So these two men drank out of the same beer mug? Yeahhh, right. Don't think so. Chances are this girl had cold sores while giving them head. Sorry to be blunt. I am sorry but you and your H need to sit and talk this out. This just feels very wrong so don't believe a word he tells you. Oh just curious, is your H's friend married as well?
Chinook Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Not entirely sure... but if I was married and had cheated, I wouldn't inform my partner about the need to get tested unless I was really sure there was a need for him to do so. So either you have the situation where your H is telling the truth and is blissfully ignorant of how STDs may be transmitted (in which case you need to educate him) or he's already been tested and knows exactly what the situ is and is trying to cover it. We don't know your husband... but the fact that you're here asking do we think it's bull leads me to suspect that you think he's lying. Hard conversation coming your way I think.
Siciliana Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 could he think that it's like herpes/cold sores? cause, in that case then I can say yes, he is right. If she has herpes, and friend did oral, then hub drank after, I would say he is at risk for coldsores/herpes, which are STD's that you can get on your face!!!!!
NoIDidn't Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 As part of that 90% of the people on the planet with Complex 2, I'd say his explanation is a bunch of bunk. This virus stays dormant for longer than 3 days before the first flare up. In fact, most STDs do. So he's known he's had it for a while and is taking you for stupid. Get tested. Ask the doctor to date the length of the infection if found (they can do that). Confront your lying H with the truth. Drank after a buddy on Saturday and found out on Tuesday....yeah, right.
norajane Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 So these two men drank out of the same beer mug? Yeahhh, right. Don't think so. Chances are this girl had cold sores while giving them head. Sorry to be blunt. I am sorry but you and your H need to sit and talk this out. This just feels very wrong so don't believe a word he tells you. Oh just curious, is your H's friend married as well? I totally agree with wwiu. Makes no sense that guys would share beer mugs. Hubby is lying about that. And about everything else.
LakesideDream Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 My elderly B.S. meter is well into the red on this one. Methinks you will need a long conversation (if you are talkative) with your S.O. If you are not a talkative person (and I wouldn't be if I found out my S.O. was infected with the uncurable "red-rash grunge") you can just kick the crud dud to the curb and try to make your next choice a better one. I'll be right back... I need to take a vomit break.
Lookingforward Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Forget HIS test - go get yourself tested PRONTO Then deal with H's bs when you know the score
JustBreathe Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 What a scary thing to contemplate, having gotten an STD from your own husband. I read about it, it happens. With all my husband's cheating I thank the good Lord I did not contract anything. My biggest fear is that one day, a young man will be standing on my front porch saying he's looking for his long lost daddy... I'm so sorry this is happening and I hope it turns out to be nothing but an April Fools prank.
norajane Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Forget HIS test - go get yourself tested PRONTO Then deal with H's bs when you know the score And you might want to abstain from any sex with hubby until both sets of test results come back. And then another 6 months with condoms, until the second round of HIV tests comes back clean.
Darth Vader Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 (edited) I totally agree with wwiu. Makes no sense that guys would share beer mugs. Hubby is lying about that. And about everything else. Unless they're Gay! I don't think they are, he's probably been messin with someone else, get tested! Edited April 2, 2008 by Darth Vader
Author elizabethjune Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Whoa lol sorry. A little thing called work got in the way for me today. He told me chlamydia, not herpes. God this is so gross but I really appreciate everybody's support. I was so po'd when I did the post I didn't expect that kind of respone and mostly positive support I've received. Ugh, this sucks.
JamesM Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Here is some info on chlamydia. http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/34156.htm While it is unlikely that he has it, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He could be ignorant of STD transmission. It could also be that his friend is playing a trick on him However, if you in your gut think he may be cheating, then proceed with that idea. Get tested, and confront him.
Recommended Posts