Rex Man Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 You seem a bit testy, BareGoddess. Even going so far as to bully another member into agreeing with you. Kat understood what I said. This thread is about what WOMEN want; not what MEN want. Therefore, me commenting on both sexes would be slightly off-topic. I never said "talk to men, they all want the nice girl" Stop ASSuming things.
BareGoddess Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 You seem a bit testy, BareGoddess. Even going so far as to bully another member into agreeing with you. Kat understood what I said. This thread is about what WOMEN want; not what MEN want. Therefore, me commenting on both sexes would be slightly off-topic. I never said "talk to men, they all want the nice girl" Stop ASSuming things. What? What the heck are you talking about? Where's the bullying? She has her own mind.
TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Yeah darn it - where's Brad Pitt :D Crap... Angelina is still in the picture Oh I see he has to not only be goolooking, but rich and famous too? And here I thought all you wanted was a pickle .
TheFonz Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Ok, the pretzel thing was funny! I'll give you that. I thought so too, funny and true. But screw the rest. It's not true. Sure it's true for some women but then that means you're with the wrong ones. Stay true to yourself and find one who accepts you how you are. Improve what you think needs improving and that's that. NO ONE should change who they are for another. But what if a guy wants to have all the girls and fun that some other guys are getting? If he wants something different from what he's been getting, wouldn't he have to change?
FormerNiceGuy Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Are we doing this again? There is a middle ground between the nice guy and the jerk that I term the 'Genuine guy'. He knows himself and is honest and approaches relationships from a genuine and respectful standpoint. He doesn't play games, spin plates, or seek validation via the external. He has learned to embrace and control his ego. He commands respect by giving the proper partner that same respect. Overly nice guys tend to get used or just wind up resentful and lethargic of their partner. Not fun. Jerks are no fun either and attract or bring out the insecure traits of women. This combo is usually drama filled and eventually the girl cheats on him (upgrades) or dumps him in frustration. Or they have a toxic life together. Become a genuine and respectful person yourself and seek to attract the same in a romatic partner. You can't game genuineness, it is either there or it isn't. That's one of the best posts I've ever read...and I ain't exactly new to the game.
BareGoddess Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I thought so too, funny and true. But what if a guy wants to have all the girls and fun that some other guys are getting? If he wants something different from what he's been getting, wouldn't he have to change? Well I'm calling it "improving" on yourself. You can call it change too. But do it for yourself not for someone else. I've done it myself. I see nothing wrong with it. Just make sure it's not an ACT and it's really you being true to yourself. There's a difference.
BareGoddess Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 That's one of the best posts I've ever read...and I ain't exactly new to the game. I agree. Excellent post. What I've been confused about reading all the different things lately is that for some men there's no middle-ground. They think in black and white terms. You're either a wimp or you're a "DJ". Both are a turn-off. I wonder if they realize that the best men are neither. Those are the men that many, dare I say MOST, women are searching for. Finding that kind of man is truly like hitting the jackpot. The DJ's and wimps are a dime a dozen. They're the "riff raff" we women have to sort through before we find that gem.
NuTuDating Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I agree. Excellent post. What I've been confused about reading all the different things lately is that for some men there's no middle-ground. They think in black and white terms. You're either a wimp or you're a "DJ". Both are a turn-off. I wonder if they realize that the best men are neither. Those are the men that many, dare I say MOST, women are searching for. Finding that kind of man is truly like hitting the jackpot. The DJ's and wimps are a dime a dozen. They're the "riff raff" we women have to sort through before we find that gem. That's crap. Women don't sort through nice guys. Nice guys don't get their foot in the door with anyone other than users.
BareGoddess Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 That's crap. Women don't sort through nice guys. Nice guys don't get their foot in the door with anyone other than users. It's not crap. Wish you could meet my H. He's neither a DJ nor a wimp. I waited 33 years for him. Had to wade through all the wimps and DJ's..ugh:sick: They're all over the place...riff raff as I call them, a dime a dozen. Thank god, there are still Real Men still around. Oh and I'm not a user, thank you very much.
BareGoddess Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 That's crap. Women don't sort through nice guys. Nice guys don't get their foot in the door with anyone other than users. Also, wanted to add...tell that to some of the really great guys on LS who are married or in a LTR. The ones I'm thinking of (they know who they are) are neither wimps, nor DJ's. Just good, decent men. The "gems" as I like to call them. I can think of quite a few on here actually.
dreamergrl Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Oh I see he has to not only be goolooking, but rich and famous too? And here I thought all you wanted was a pickle . Crap now you got me thinking pickles again!
GoodOnPaper Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 That's crap. Women don't sort through nice guys. Nice guys don't get their foot in the door with anyone other than users. Or someone with lots of "nice girl" issues. It looks good on paper, but nothing makes a guy feel like riff-raff more than being a part of the "nice guy"/"nice girl" combination.
dreamergrl Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I thought so too, funny and true. But what if a guy wants to have all the girls and fun that some other guys are getting? If he wants something different from what he's been getting, wouldn't he have to change? I think this could be done with how the guy approaches the girl. Even though my past relationships haven't been good ones - prior to those I couldn't seem to date worth a darn at all. I tried to approach it differently - be more sure of myself and a bit more assertive to it then I was - and I started noticing more of a response. As time has passed, and I'm figuring out more what's been causing my attraction to the wrong guys - I think I'm doing much better with it. I didn't change who I was - but I brought out parts of me that I didn't realize were there.
dreamergrl Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I agree. Excellent post. What I've been confused about reading all the different things lately is that for some men there's no middle-ground. They think in black and white terms. You're either a wimp or you're a "DJ". Both are a turn-off. I wonder if they realize that the best men are neither. Those are the men that many, dare I say MOST, women are searching for. Finding that kind of man is truly like hitting the jackpot. The DJ's and wimps are a dime a dozen. They're the "riff raff" we women have to sort through before we find that gem. And a great edition to that post. :)
FormerNiceGuy Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 There's "nice guys" There's "jerks" There's "players" And there's genuinely good guys that have confidence and have the courage to approach women. The reason why women sometimes fall for players..is that they emanate some of the characteristics of that "genuinely good guy"..in other words..they're not exactly "jerks" but they're not "doormats".....but they're taking a bite out of every sandwich.
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