NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I'm drawing them from how many times you've expressed you're bad luck in dating (you've mentioned cheaters and users and such in other posts) It is easier to place blame on other people then taking responsibility for your own words and actions though, isn't it? Exactly how am I to blame for the women I date being manipulative or cheaters? That seems the typical response. You meet someone who's not a decent person, and the women here want to tell me that that is somehow my fault. I don't really follow that as it doesn't make much sense. It's not like those types wear a sign around their neck on the first date. As I've also mentioned before, I've broken up with several of these already.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Woman are this woman are that.. blah blah blah - did you forget already? No, and I've said there may be exceptions, but I haven't seen a lot of evidence of this.
blind_otter Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Not quite following you. Yeah, from what I've seen, most of the women like you claim are all over the place seem to be pretty rare. I don't exactly wear my bias on my sleeve when I date, and I do date a good bit, so, I'm not really sure where you're drawing your conclusions from. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selection_bias The women that you interact with are statistically biased in ways that would take more time than I'm willing to give to analyze. They are all from a specific locale, or that general area. They are likely from a similar socioeconomic background, and have similar levels of education. You cannot actually believe that the women you have experienced personally are representative of an entire gender, can you? That is pretty naieve. Maybe you didn't take any statistics classes in college.
a4a Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Exactly how am I to blame for the women I date being manipulative or cheaters? That seems the typical response. You meet someone who's not a decent person, and the women here want to tell me that that is somehow my fault. I don't really follow that as it doesn't make much sense. It's not like those types wear a sign around their neck on the first date. As I've also mentioned before, I've broken up with several of these already. well if the vast majority of the ones you dated are cheaters, losers, liars- one common thing involved in those R's is YOU. Likely you attract or are attracted to that type - perhaps that is why a honest upfront woman alludes you - you are not attracted to them. Oh wait - this is like a chick diggin' bad boys/jerks.
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Exactly how am I to blame for the women I date being manipulative or cheaters? That seems the typical response. You meet someone who's not a decent person, and the women here want to tell me that that is somehow my fault. I don't really follow that as it doesn't make much sense. It's not like those types wear a sign around their neck on the first date. As I've also mentioned before, I've broken up with several of these already. I'm talking about the junk you've continued to say about women in general. But since you brought it up - like I mentioned before, don't you think it's possible you've fallen into a pattern with who you date?
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Oh wait - this is like a chick diggin' bad boys/jerks. :lmao::lmao: I rest my case
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 No, and I've said there may be exceptions, but I haven't seen a lot of evidence of this. I think your exact words were "there may be a FEW exceptions" Just because you haven't seen them doesn't mean they aren't there. My guess is they are tired of being grouped in with the women who aren't so great - so they stay clear of you.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I think your exact words were "there may be a FEW exceptions" Just because you haven't seen them doesn't mean they aren't there. My guess is they are tired of being grouped in with the women who aren't so great - so they stay clear of you. Again, you and some others seem really confident about me being attracted to these types of women. I'm not. I've broken relationships off with three of them recently. What I'm not getting is any advice beyond that. Just the hit and run statements "it's your fault"... blah blah blah - so yeah, I get defensive, too. And as past experience has indicated, I stand by my contention that in my area, in the age range I'm looking for, yes, they're RARE. I cam here for advice on an issue I was having with a single mother, and the first response was from a woman who completely ignored my question and proceded to lecture me on "package deals" as if I wasn't aware of this, so, it's not just men on this site who jump to conclusions.
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Again, you and some others seem really confident about me being attracted to these types of women. I'm not. I've broken relationships off with three of them recently. What I'm not getting is any advice beyond that. Just the hit and run statements "it's your fault"... blah blah blah - so yeah, I get defensive, too. And as past experience has indicated, I stand by my contention that in my area, in the age range I'm looking for, yes, they're RARE. I was never specifically attracted to guys that hit me, or verbally abuse me, lie to me ect ect - but it was other personality traits of these type of men that drew me to their direction. After so much, instead of feeling bad for myself, I took the time too look at the similarities between them - and I now know what to look for to figure out if I'm ending up with an jerk or a guy that respects women. I stopped with the "men are evil" theory - and made a change. A pity party for yourself is very lonely after repeating the same mistakes with relationships over and over. You know the boy who cried wolf - it's not crying wolf, but after so many times of something happening - people see a trend when they look at you. I mean you broke up with 3 of these bad women just recently - when do you stop and look in the mirror and ask yourself what can be done to avoid this?
a4a Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Again, you and some others seem really confident about me being attracted to these types of women. I'm not. I've broken relationships off with three of them recently. What I'm not getting is any advice beyond that. Just the hit and run statements "it's your fault"... blah blah blah - so yeah, I get defensive, too. And as past experience has indicated, I stand by my contention that in my area, in the age range I'm looking for, yes, they're RARE. I cam here for advice on an issue I was having with a single mother, and the first response was from a woman who completely ignored my question and proceded to lecture me on "package deals" as if I wasn't aware of this, so, it's not just men on this site who jump to conclusions. well if you are talking about young ladies (early 20's) - with age comes maturity (in most cases) and better understanding of yourself.
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 And as past experience has indicated, I stand by my contention that in my area, in the age range I'm looking for, yes, they're RARE. OOOOO now you're getting closer! IN YOUR AREA - So what % of the female population is in your area?
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 well if you are talking about young ladies (early 20's) - with age comes maturity (in most cases) and better understanding of yourself. No, I'm 31 and these have been late 20's early 30's.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 OOOOO now you're getting closer! IN YOUR AREA - So what % of the female population is in your area? Well, it has something to do with it since this is a small town with a high rate of single mothers. I don't meet that many educated or intelligent women, either. It's a large %.
soulseeker Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Of course, there are exceptions but how many of you female respondants are currently with a nice guy? What attracted you to him? I am with a nice guy, thank goodness. That "I like you, I dont like you" bs is so gd exhausting. Not sure what maturity levels people are at, but I know for me, once I knew myself and repsected myself, I had no time for that back and forth $hit. My bf looks out for me, we talk all the time, he has my best interests at heart. Sure, there was some akward stuff, but most of that was me and residue from my past. My experience is that the rate of game playing is in direct correlation with maturity. Not knowing what you want, yet being in a relationship, has the same impact as direct game playing.
Lizzie60 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 OK.. I read the first few posts.. and I have to agree with NuTu... Leave the poor boy alone.. They are entitled to their own 'whinning' threads about women.. We see a lot more threads from women like: My SO is walking all over me.. what should I do? My SO cheated.. what should I do? He's late, he got an STD, he cums too quick, he doesn't cum at all... over and over and over again... Let them have their 'whinning threads' too.. To the OP: Well.. if from your experiences, you feel more comfortable by getting advices from gays or other male friends.. so be it.. You seem to know a lot about women and you're right.. women only go by chick flicks to give advices... that's our main source of information.. so you're much better to ask other guys.
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Well, it has something to do with it since this is a small town with a high rate of single mothers. I don't meet that many educated or intelligent women, either. It's a large %. That's your area - not most females. BTW when you say educated - you mean like going to school and what not? That doesn't automatically make someone a certain way. I'm 26 - I've waited to go to college - but that hasn't challenged my life - I'm self employed and do quite well for myself. I also could have been a single mother. I don't cheat, I don't use, I don't lie. I treat my partner with all the respect in the world, and am caring and loving. I'm a good person - so I hate being grouped up with people that aren't.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 That's your area - not most females. BTW when you say educated - you mean like going to school and what not? That doesn't automatically make someone a certain way. I'm 26 - I've waited to go to college - but that hasn't challenged my life - I'm self employed and do quite well for myself. I also could have been a single mother. I don't cheat, I don't use, I don't lie. I treat my partner with all the respect in the world, and am caring and loving. I'm a good person - so I hate being grouped up with people that aren't. You're right. But it's still most females in this area. Having a college degree isn't one of my criteria - just someone who's not borderline illiterate. You really would have to see the choices in this area to believe it...
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 You're right. But it's still most females in this area. Having a college degree isn't one of my criteria - just someone who's not borderline illiterate. You really would have to see the choices in this area to believe it... Well there are times I felt around here I had a limited choice - I grew up in a small town as well. I actually broadened my distance criteria to try and meet guys that would be good to me. Good people are out there, and the amount of them isn't as small as one would think. I feel with a continuing mind set like you've shown will only make a person more resentful and bitter.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Well there are times I felt around here I had a limited choice - I grew up in a small town as well. I actually broadened my distance criteria to try and meet guys that would be good to me. Good people are out there, and the amount of them isn't as small as one would think. I feel with a continuing mind set like you've shown will only make a person more resentful and bitter. Well, to be frank, I came here looking for some advice on how to deal with an issue and was lectured in the very first response to my very first post. So, yeah, I was on the defensive from the start. Probably a sign I should head somewhere else to get advice.
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Well, to be frank, I came here looking for some advice on how to deal with an issue and was lectured in the very first response to my very first post. So, yeah, I was on the defensive from the start. Probably a sign I should head somewhere else to get advice. I've gotten responses on advice threads I didn't like - but I came for advice and if people want to put in their two cents they have that options. However - Posting a thread like this or several others similar to this isn't asking for advice. It's down grading. You got to look at the context of the remarks.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) I've gotten responses on advice threads I didn't like - but I came for advice and if people want to put in their two cents they have that options. However - Posting a thread like this or several others similar to this isn't asking for advice. It's down grading. You got to look at the context of the remarks. Right, so the responses I received which assumed that I was interested in this girl for sex only, etc., and didn't care about her daughter weren't downgrading? And, sad to say, those posts came from women. So, I didn't especially appreciate being lumped in with *******s, but that seems to be the general theme here. Edited April 1, 2008 by NuTuDating
Pyro Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Right, so the responses I received which assumed that I was interested in this girl for sex only, etc., and didn't care about her daughter weren't downgrading? And, sad to say, those posts came from women. If you look back, your first post on this thead was an intial attack on women. You were asking for trouble the second you started posting on this thread.
dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Right, so the responses I received which assumed that I was interested in this girl for sex only, etc., and didn't care about her daughter weren't downgrading? And, sad to say, those posts came from women. So, I didn't especially appreciate being lumped in with *******s, but that seems to be the general theme here. You can't expect to post a thread an not get responses you don't want to here. Yes it still is degrading - but when someone posts a thread to specifically downgrade a gender -it's ten times worse. I didn't like something you posted in one of my threads looking for advice - but I didn't go on a male bashing period. I didn't think all men were bad because of that plus my past experiences. And I know what thread you are referring too - because I left you a positive post in there. And hey - I bet you got some negative responses from males too.
NuTuDating Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 You can't expect to post a thread an not get responses you don't want to here. Yes it still is degrading - but when someone posts a thread to specifically downgrade a gender -it's ten times worse. I didn't like something you posted in one of my threads looking for advice - but I didn't go on a male bashing period. I didn't think all men were bad because of that plus my past experiences. And I know what thread you are referring too - because I left you a positive post in there. And hey - I bet you got some negative responses from males too. Yeah, I did, guys telling me to dump this girl because she had a kid. Bad advice coming from guys is easier to take and disregard.
shanny Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I think I might be the first person to agree with you (sort of). I dumped my nice guy and now I'm being treated like dirt by the sexy, confident guy. However, I regret it and will never make the same mistake again.
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