becky001555 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 The worst thing about it all is thinking about my ex with other girls, after being with my ex for 2.5 years and being so close with him, knowing that he has been with other girls and knowing that he is going out at night and most probably meeting other girls, this is by far the hardest thing for me to cope with right now, it completley devastates me and i just want that feeling to go away, knowing that these other girls are being close with him in only a way that i have been for so long makes me sick how do i get this feeling out of my head, it becomes unbearable sometimes!
MalachiX Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Just gotta tough it out. I was with my EX for 2.5 years before we ended it and when I saw she was back with an old boyfriend on Facebook, I started having panick attacks. The next day, I stopped at a bar a business associate I know owns, met a girl, and ended up making out with her. It actually made me feel a lot better about my EX (nice to feel attractive again) but I have no idea what I want to do now.
Issues & tissues Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 The way I cope with this (though not sure how healthy it is) is to recall all the bad things (the mood swings, the lack of affection, the drinking, the controlling behaviour, the lies, the other women, blah, blah, blah) about my ex. This way, I don't feel jealous just real pity, for all the crap she will have to put up with.
Author becky001555 Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Thanks for the replies guys im just being so unrealistic about the whole thing at the moment, in both ways, i think 'oh he's gone out and he will be looking to pull anyone and everyone' and then i think 'ohhhh no don't be daft, your stressing and he's probably at home watching tv,' when in reality i haven't a clue what he's doing, i wish i could hate him and think of all the negativity but its hard I just can't stand the fact of even thinking about being with someone else right now, while he's on the rebound and making it more painful for me its just a mess really xx
Chinook Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Becky hon, it's early days yet. Hang in there. This is how the coping mind works, playing it's tricks and letting your imagination run wild. Just try not to think about it. When it comes up, actively make yourself think of something else. Anything else. Eventually the brain will get the message. Also, get yourself to a local library and take out 'Mending your broken heart' by Paul McKenna. I found it really useful. Some bits were really cheesy but some bits were okay.
Author becky001555 Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Thankyou i was wondering if there were any books out there that could help, when my mind does this (and i know this sounds stupid) but i try singing a song! just the first song that comes into my head just to get images, thoughts etc out of there it helps for about a minute I just wish i was more patient, then i could get through this alot easier, theres been so many times over the past four days where i have gone to e-mail him and then stopped myself, came on this site and it has REALLY helped, if it wasn't for people giving me advice on here i would have broken my NC already, no doubt there will be plenty more posts from me, but its so much better than breaking NC so thankyou x
Walking away Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Get "It's Called a Breakup Cause It's Broken" Great breakup book...
Chinook Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Becky, singing a song even for a minute, is a minute longer than no minutes... and soon enough it's gonna get to two minutes, then five, then twenty... then an hour... a day and so on. Heck, you'll find sooner or later you can go a whole week without thinking about him on occasion! Hard to believe right now, but true. [writes the name of the other book down]
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