Rattler111 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I met this great guy about 1 1/2 months ago at a Jam. We are both musicians and both of us recently ended long term relationships with partners who had cheated on us. We met through friends(musicians) and started hanging out and really clicked. We talked about our relationships with our exes and talked about what we liked in one another and things got very intense, pretty quickly. Both of us had spent the last 2 years with partners who treated us badly and so it seemed that we were perfect together. Both of us had ended the relationships with our significant others 2 - 4 months previous. We hung out, texted madly, made it known in our circle that we had 'found' eachother, and began making plans for the summer and holidays etc. God...it was magical.... Fast forward to 2 weeks ago: He starts acting a little strange. Four days later, he texts me that we need to talk about 'us'. I call him and he tells me that his ex had contacted him and wants to work things out and he is confused. I have a bit of a reaction, (little one), and say that I don't want to be part of his "confusion" and wish him luck. He keeps telling me how much he likes me and how much he loves spending time with me....I tell him that he needs to work it out for himself....that I am clear that I am not going back to my ex because he is 'the same guy' and his ex is also, 'the same girl'. He sounds pathetic on the phone and we end the call. Two Days Later: He is playing a gig at the club I hang out at on Sundays and he approaches me. We go outside and talk and he says that he is confused and I tell him that he is crazy because 'once a cheater, always a cheater'......and he says that she has said that she has changed. We discuss how peoples morals and values don't change. He tells me that he knows I would never cheat. He says he feels guilty and horrible. We go back into the club and I carry on. He plays the gig and looks distressed when I dance with the owner of the club. I hug him good-bye at the end of the night and say to call me 'when he's clear....' Last night: It;s Sunday and I go to the gig as I always would and he is there. He approaches me and asks how I am but looks visibly uncomfortable although he is trying to be nice and charming. We have some small talk and then both try to act normal. A bit later he is at the bar texting and I approach him. He says that he feels 'weirded out'...I ask why and he says that he feels guilty talking to me and hanging out with me....He is going to give it one more good shot with his ex. He doesn't want me hate him...."I really like you, T****Y, and I feel bad. We once again talk about how people never change and she will cheat again and I feel like I am talking to a stranger. I say ok, going back to my table now and he grabs me and hugs me and tells me again how much he likes me. He says "I am really cool"....I say "I know", laugh and head back to my friends. The big problem is I feel like crap. Really crappy. All kinds of thoughts going through my head and it's making me mental. How could he leave something so good to go back to something so bad? I felt brushed off and like I was talking to a stranger. I was falling for the guy I saw and all of our friends said he was great and he is! The woman he is involved with was having another relationship for 2 out of the 4 years they were together and the guy was 'sleeping on her couch 1 week ago'. Come on! I don't know....I miss him and wonder if I should go to the gig on Sunday or just stay away. the second part is hoping that he'll wonder where I am and think about things. Any thoughts LS???
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