IHeartYou4ever Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Has anyone had this happen to them before; you know when you’re dying to talk to your LD boyfriend and he finally answers the phone but then he seems disinterested, bored, blasé, etc, like he isn’t “normal” with you? I just had this happen to me and I’m just wondering if I should be worried. Thanks.
Eilonwy Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Oh, this has definitely happened to me a few times. Perhaps your boyfriend just had a really bad day, is not well or was stressed and therefore had other things in mind and didn't notice that he didn't pay enough attention to you. It can happen to anyone. I wouldn't worry unless this happens more frequently. But it feels especially bad when you were really looking forward to it, doesn't it?
MeloraB Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I'm pretty sure this has happened to all of us. Don't get discouraged though, sometimes they just don't feel like talking or are tired and whatnot like Eilonwy said.
j_hunt_12 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I've done that with my girl, the "not there thing." I just had had a really boring day and was still mad about a fight we had and just recently gotten over. She also told me the news about her guy friend coming to visit her family for 2 months (he is a friend of the family so it was no big problem, but I was still pissed)... That was why I was "not there" that time. And she noticed it. But sometimes I just have a bad or whatever day and have been sort of like that... The part I would worry about is that it was harder than normal to contact him and that there was absolutely nothing to cause his behavior. I always call no matter how bad I feel... peace
Author IHeartYou4ever Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) Thanks you guys, I’m just really bummed out. It’s really hard to deal with for me because of the distance. I feel it makes it that much harder but no he picked up and we talked but it just wasn’t the same. I usually don’t feel the distance but this time I did. I mean we talked for like 20 minutes then the phone disconnected so I called back and after a couple tries he answered. He said he was busy doing something that's why he didn't answer right away and then I asked him if he was still busy and he said no I then told him that I felt something was wrong and he kept denying it saying everything was fine (obviously not) but the thing that got to me the most was when I was like do you still want to talk to me and then he told me he had to do something real quick (what??? He just said he wasn't busy, I guess someone was feeling uncomfortable) and if I could call him later. When I tried to call him later…no answer (big surprise here:rolleyes:). I mean what was he thinking?! I'm just so confused. I mean he was really nice to me and still showed me he cared so maybe I shouldn’t be worried because if he was thinking about leaving he would probably act a bit rude and mean and be really short with me agreed? But at the same time I don’t know. I have no idea what could have caused it I mean it could be anything and I know people go through their hard times but now I feel like maybe I should be worrying…. right? Oh God please say no! Edited April 1, 2008 by IHeartYou4ever
moys Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Thanks you guys, I’m just really bummed out. It’s really hard to deal with for me because of the distance. I feel it makes it that much harder but no he picked up and we talked but it just wasn’t the same. I usually don’t feel the distance but this time I did. I mean we talked for like 20 minutes then the phone disconnected so I called back and after a couple tries he answered. He said he was busy doing something that's why he didn't answer right away and then I asked him if he was still busy and he said no I then told him that I felt something was wrong and he kept denying it saying everything was fine (obviously not) but the thing that got to me the most was when I was like do you still want to talk to me and then he told me he had to do something real quick (what??? He just said he wasn't busy, I guess someone was feeling uncomfortable) and if I could call him later. When I tried to call him later…no answer (big surprise here:rolleyes:). I mean what was he thinking?! I'm just so confused. I mean he was really nice to me and still showed me he cared so maybe I shouldn’t be worried because if he was thinking about leaving he would probably act a bit rude and mean and be really short with me agreed? But at the same time I don’t know. I have no idea what could have caused it I mean it could be anything and I know people go through their hard times but now I feel like maybe I should be worrying…. right? Oh God please say no! Wow, don't stress about it, it happens to everyone. What I usually do is give my bf some space and don't call him for a few days instead of asking if something is wrong and begging him to tell me. He usually comes around in the end saying how much he misses me and how good it is to hear my voice again. In the meantime, don't think about it and keep yourself busy.
Author IHeartYou4ever Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 (edited) That was really great to read thanks but I can’t help but stress out about it. More like freak out. I’m definitely going to give him space and everything I just hating waiting and thinking and worrying you know. I just find it sort of weird when I asked him if he still wanted to talk to me he told me he had to do something real quick and “pretended” that he had to do something. Like are you serious!?! Do you think I’m dumb?! Like what was he thinking?! And to top it all off why would he tell me to call back when he obviously does not want to talk and then not pick up even if I rang him a million times? How rude and how can I not worry? I mean I know I shouldn’t be surprised... it is typical behavior but I’m just so hurt and a little pissed off. I guess I should stay optimistic though. Hopefully you are right. I hope you are. I hope I have nothing to worry about. Edited April 2, 2008 by IHeartYou4ever
TMichaels Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 And to top it all off why would he tell me to call back when he obviously does not want to talk and then not pick up even if I rang him a million times? How rude and how can I not worry? It's not out of the realm of possibility that: -- There was something wrong with his phone/phone service -- He indeed WAS busy doing something and forgot -- He was tired or fell asleep All of the above happen all the time. When he "re-surfaced" again, no doubt he would have seen several missed calls from you on his phone. The more important issue is what happened after that? Did he call or get in touch with you? Did he mention/explain why he missed your calls? Best, TMichaels
Author IHeartYou4ever Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Well, the thing is it’s entirely up to me to get a hold of him right now because the country in which he lives is having technical difficulties and he can’t call me so basically I have to call him. I know I should figure out what’s wrong but I’m terrified. I can’t even comprehend the fact that he may not want to be in a relationship with me. I mean I blame this all on the distance though. I know for a fact things would be really different if we weren’t long distance and I feel like I’m lost. Like I’m not sure what to do. I know he loves me without a doubt but circumstances and life is making this relationship super hard. We do everything we can, which is not much and the distance it just too much and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to make everything okay and easier. The funny thing is we never talk about the distance anymore and maybe that’s a problem, maybe we should. I’m not 100% sure it’s the relationship that caused his weirdness or if it was something else. It could be anything really. All I know for sure is that I’m afraid of whats to come. Like sometimes I feel he was just not in the mood to talk for whatever reason and he was just having a bad day or something like that, other times I’m like omg what if he found another girl or he's not feeling me anymore or something. I hate this feeling. I hate the feeling of uncertainty.
TMichaels Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 LThe funny thing is we never talk about the distance anymore and maybe that’s a problem, maybe we should. Get over this "distance thing." Sure, being apart makes a LDR difficult, but it's as big of an obstacle as you make it. And, right now, you're making a BIG DEAL out of it, so it's no wonder it's a big deal. Like sometimes I feel he was just not in the mood to talk for whatever reason and he was just having a bad day or something like that, other times I’m like omg what if he found another girl or he's not feeling me anymore or something. So, somehow people who live far apart from one another are always in good moods or never have a bad day? Be realistic. And, stop making the focus of everything "all about you." Successful relationships, whether they are long-distance or not, rely on honesty, trust, and commitment. If you're worried he's dumping you, ask him. If you can't trust him, then YOU should dump him. And for god's sake, read back after your own post. You admit that the phone service in your b/f's country is not working properly. Yet, you're having a hissy fit that he didn't answer when you called him. Has it ever occured to you that maybe those "technical difficulties" may be the reason he didn't answer? Good luck, TMichaels
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