BetrayedMM Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I gotta jump in on this bandwagon. If a woman with one of those 'boy' cuts is attractive, it's in spite of the haircut. There are exceptions I'm sure(never met any in my entire life though), but to men it looks very much like the woman just plain gave up being feminine, and has become some kind of generic androgynous asexual human. Or, depending on the style of the cut, lesbian. Most men like women who are feminine, and proud of being a woman. I have heard that many women don't like the 'metrosexual' look also. About the whole 'glamorous' thing, pop culture is one of my pet peeves. I agree that we get force fed these images, and it's all too easy to think not only that things really are that way, but that they should be that way. What's disturbing about it is it's just entertainment, yet it gets taken seriously. Somebody made this stuff up to get paid. That's all it is, why is it hard to see that?
Woggle Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Women can look good with short hair. halle Berry looked better with short hair if you ask me and that women who has on the show with Pamel Anderson looked good with it. Shaved heads are another story but short hair can look good.
BetrayedMM Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Women can look good with short hair. halle Berry looked better with short hair if you ask me and that women who has on the show with Pamel Anderson looked good with it. Shaved heads are another story but short hair can look good. I agree, but it's only in spite of the hair, not because of it. When did Halle Berry have long hair? Doesn't matter, I imagine she would look better that way though. Bald? That just looks unhealthy! The chemotherapy look isn't very attractive. Really I'm just talking first impressions here, but men are visual, so...
Woggle Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I think Halle looked better when she had short hair. It suited her better.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Hey, back in the late 1800's and for at least hundreds and hundreds of years before that, you know, when women weren't even really considered people, it was pretty much taboo for a woman to cut her hair. Sounds like the good old days to me... I know it is hard to convey sarcasm on a written forum, so let me spell it out. S-A-R-C-A-S-M
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Sure, it's just a movie. But the constant parade of nice wifey types holding mops, raving over clean toilet bowls and sprays that kill germs, and which peanut butter tastes best - then with the flip of a channel watching movies and t.v. series glorifying women who have no problem screwing married men. How much does it really affect men and their views on wives and women they cheat with? Even the loser chicks they cheat with? As I wife, I know I'm not even close to the prototype woman portrayed in the media, so the way it affects me is that it sort of irritates me. So, it can affect wives as well. Are we all impervious to those visual images dancing across the screen every day? It just galls me a little that's all. As a wife, having been been cheated on alot, things like stereotyping of wives as practically invisible and loose women as sexy and glorious, is more illuminated and real than it did before, at least insofar as I am concerned. It reopens the wound a little bit and it hurts. I wish it weren't so, but it does. Grow up? Yeah, I guess I need to. Thanks. I guess I need to grow up, too. I, too, went to a movie with my husband, while my nerves were still very raw. It was "Definitely, Maybe". Seems safe, huh? Anyway, it starts out with the guy leaving his girlfriend for 2 months to go to NY to work on someone's campaign. She is insecure, and worried he will meet someone else. He assures her over and over she is the only one. He goes to NY, and maybe 20 minutes into the movie is making out in a hallway with her best friend. I, too, walked out. I'm sorry, but if growing up means I have to accept that most, if not all, men are some kind of autonamatons ruled by nothing but what is in their pants, no thanks. I know a LOT of men, and I believe most men are good, and are capable of having long-term monogamous relationships. I find it not only insulting to most women to have cheating by men portrayed as somehow 'beyond their control', but to most of the male population, as well. There have been cheaters probably since the beginning of time, but I don't believe for one minute they are anywhere close to the majority of the population. They just want to portray it that way, to take them off the hook, and make their unexcusable behavior seem mainstream.
OldEurope Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 ...Stay home and read! Like ya should be anyway! Oh, but, ahem, that is a movie scene there to the left as my avatar... But no walking out of that movie...For Marcello is divine! ...And Sophia did keep her hair long.... ...But wait! She plays a....in this movie! All right...Off I go again... xoxo OE
sarme Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Justbreath it appears your arguments are your issues about your own husban'ds affair and the recovery. If a woman let's herself go it is HER doing not her husbands, why is this so hard for women to understand take ownership shall we? I would also like to mention that is is not so much that you look like a 10 but it's the attitude the woman portrays when she is selfassured and is in full control of her animal magnetism, something that must be really hard for a betrayed wife to have after her husband has walked all over her. The reason other women seem so sultry and sexy and in control is because the are in control they have nothing to lose, they know that all they have between them and the man is purely passionate and reality does not get in the way, this is very appealing to men. These women just have to focus on looking their best to entice their man, what man wouldn't enjoy that and find that irresistible? Instead of worrying about torture movies like the one you accepted to see, why don't you educate yourself on making yourself irresistible to your man both inside and outside the bedroom. Wear a wig, change your look for a night, meet him in a hotel room and show up with a blond wig if you are a brunette and a coat with nothing but garters and stalkings beneath use your imagination to entice your man, and for heaven's sake DON'T go see anymore retraded hollywood movies about adultry. If you msut pick a naughty movie that plays with your psychology pick a flick that shows a woman going off to have many young bucks at her predisposition and create a little jealousy in your man, it's healthy and it is what you need. To feel like he still desires you. I'm sorry but you are doing it to yourself. Not to mention walking out of that theatre feeling even more insecure must have done wonders for your husband in terms of feeling attraction towards you.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 ...Stay home and read! Like ya should be anyway! LOL! Actually, I do read quite a bit. But I guess I should quit, as that is time I am spending for myself, and we all know if we don't spend every waking moment (and also every moment we may be trying to sleep...) attending to our husbands' every need, they have every right to go out and find some illiterate skank to screw around with. SARCASM AGAIN! On a more serious note, just what is it again our husbands are supposed to be doing for us? I have read ad naseum what we are supposed to do for them, what exactly is their responsibility supposed to be to us, taking out the trash????
sarme Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 ...Stay home and read! Like ya should be anyway! LOL! Actually, I do read quite a bit. But I guess I should quit, as that is time I am spending for myself, and we all know if we don't spend every waking moment (and also every moment we may be trying to sleep...) attending to our husbands' every need, they have every right to go out and find some illiterate skank to screw around with. SARCASM AGAIN! On a more serious note, just what is it again our husbands are supposed to be doing for us? I have read ad naseum what we are supposed to do for them, what exactly is their responsibility supposed to be to us, taking out the trash???? Women are not the ones who tend to have the wandering eye unfortunately it is usually the man that can't keep his eyes in the socket when he sees a hot chick and is always wanting more. I know, it happens to me at times, a guy will be with his woman and totally checking me out. When they are really obvious I give them dirty looks because how disrespectful to his woman to do that to another woman. Gees if that is what he does infront of her I can only imagine what he does behind her back. So unfortunately we need to cater to men not the other way around, because men are the ones that tend to cheat. I know there will be those jumping in saying women cheat too and laaaddy da but men need variety women not so much, so we need to find a way to keep them interested.
Cobra_X30 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 My ex-mother-in-law is on LS???!!!!! And yes - I dumped him! Mostly because he was raised by a woman who was a master enabler who thought men were kings and us poor, poor women had to just suck it up and subjegate ourselves to their every whim. And luckily your not bitter about it! Sarme has a really good point if you care to really think about it.
OldEurope Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Now, what did you mean by THAT?! lol Umm...Eeyore's response somehow got meshed into mine, so she's the one asking about "illiterate skanks" and not moi. Just an editing note... I was talking about Sophia and Marcello. No illiterates or "skanks" there!
sarme Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 (edited) My ex-mother-in-law is on LS???!!!!! And yes - I dumped him! Mostly because he was raised by a woman who was a master enabler who thought men were kings and us poor, poor women had to just suck it up and subjegate ourselves to their every whim. I think your mother inlaw understood men perfectly. Perhaps you tend to exaggerate a bit but she has the essence of what makes men tick, and a lot of women from our past know about this where as today's woman has no clue. You are not unlike a lot of women, you are so caught up in winning and being the one in control and getting the "well what can he do for me" attitude, that you miss the entire point. The fact is, like it or not, men are the ones who will have the wandering eye, you either accept that or you can get in line with all the other whining women crying about "why, why me and why do I always have to do all the work". A smart woman is one that accepts things for how they are and she uses all her resources to stay in the game. Not only will you stand out in a man's eyes you will also cater to what he ultimately craves, attention. Expecting to get an apple form a pear tree is not staying in the game, it is doing yourself a disservice and actually disqualifying yourself before you even have a chance. If a woman is going to stick to what she can get from the man before she gives then she might as well stay single or stay with another woman. Men are different if you cannot accept that you have no business being with a man. thanks CobraX30 ;-) Edited April 2, 2008 by sarme
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Women are not the ones who tend to have the wandering eye unfortunately it is usually the man that can't keep his eyes in the socket when he sees a hot chick and is always wanting more. I know, it happens to me at times, a guy will be with his woman and totally checking me out. When they are really obvious I give them dirty looks because how disrespectful to his woman to do that to another woman. Gees if that is what he does infront of her I can only imagine what he does behind her back. So unfortunately we need to cater to men not the other way around, because men are the ones that tend to cheat. I know there will be those jumping in saying women cheat too and laaaddy da but men need variety women not so much, so we need to find a way to keep them interested. I think you are making a generalization. I don't believe my father ever cheated on my mother, and they were married 45 years when he died. I agree more men cheat than women, but I still think even more men don't cheat than do. If I have to wear wigs and seductive outfits and all that crap just to keep my man from straying, I don't want a man like that to begin with. I am a BS, but I wasn't cheated on for those reasons, and I really think if you dig just a little, you will find in most cases it doesn't have a whole lot to do with what the BS looks like, it is more a matter of the CHEATER'S character, or should I say, lack of character. My husband and I are trying to work things out, somewhat. (I say somewhat, because when my last kid has graduated and gotten settled, I am moving away. If Hubby wants to go with me, fine, if not, that's fine, too.) It turns out it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, it was all about him. He was/is the one who needs MAJOR behavior modification. That is a big part of where my anger and frustration comes in; if it was me who was doing all this stuff wrong, then I could fix it, as it stands I have no control over what happens next.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Umm...Eeyore's response somehow got meshed into mine, so she's the one asking about "illiterate skanks" and not moi. Just an editing note... I was talking about Sophia and Marcello. No illiterates or "skanks" there! I was trying to make a little joke, you know, I read, my reading would interfere with all my husband's "me time", so the illiterate skank would be someone who is focused on being at someone else's husband's beck and call every second of the day instead of taking some time to enjoy a good book every now and then....
sarme Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm fine with dolling up for my sweety and "doing" him like he's never been done before. But my ex-mil... here's an example: It was her birthday. We went out for brunch. The plan was that the guys (her husband and sons) were then going to take her fishing. She LOVES to fish. Well, then one of her sons mentioned taking his friend instead, and the pressure got put on her to let them go and leave her at home because there was only room in the boat for four. They left without her. Her birthday. They dissed her in favor of their friend. That's how they were raised, and that's how she let's 'em treat her because, after all, she's just a woman. Personally I think that is ignorant on the men's part BUT I also wonder if she is fine with that why is that concerning to you? Or are you alluding to the effect that because this is what flies amongst them it also carried over into your relationship? Then I can understand your frustration. I think that a woman can hold her ground and get what she wants from a man even while she caters to him. It's all about balance but balance is not allowing a man to disrespect you while you give with no end. Staying with a man that cheated on you is perhaps sending the waywardspouse the wrong message, like you are ok to be disrespected...again that is just my opinion. So if a woman feels that an OW is glamourised and her role as the wife is that of a the slouch in the back then it's time to look at the role you are playing as an individual in that particular relationship and figure out if it is worth staying with someone who does not appreciate you and gladly puts you in the category of slouch. I think it is easier to do before an A, too much resentment is intertwined after an affair and it is very hard to give of yourself in a way that is enticing to a man, once they cheat on you.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I think your mother inlaw understood men perfectly. Perhaps you tend to exaggerate a bit but she has the essence of what makes men tick, and a lot of women from our past know about this where as today's woman has no clue. You are not unlike a lot of women, you are so caught up in winning and being the one in control and getting the "well what can he do for me" attitude, that you miss the entire point. The fact is, like it or not, men are the ones who will have the wandering eye, you either accept that or you can get in line with all the other whining women crying about "why, why me and why do I always have to do all the work". A smart woman is one that accepts things for how they are and she uses all her resources to stay in the game. Not only will you stand out in a man's eyes you will also cater to what he ultimately craves, attention. Expecting to get an apple form a pear tree is not staying in the game, it is doing yourself a disservice and actually disqualifying yourself before you even have a chance. If a woman is going to stick to what she can get from the man before she gives then she might as well stay single or stay with another woman. Men are different if you cannot accept that you have no business being with a man. thanks CobraX30 ;-) I disagree with your theory of how men and women work. Men want attention, so do women! Men want to feel loved, so do women! Men want to feel appreciated, so do women! Everything you are saying men want, women want, too. For you to act like a woman must stuff all of what she wants and needs deep down inside and spend her energy pleasing her man without regard to what she wants and needs is saying the female species is somehow less than the male species. I don't buy it. I am just as worthy of having what I want as any man, and I think it is JUST as important for my needs to be met by him as for his needs to be met by me. And just on a side note, there are women out there who do nothing but try and please their man, and still get cheated on.
Cobra_X30 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 You are not unlike a lot of women, you are so caught up in winning and being the one in control and getting the "well what can he do for me" attitude, that you miss the entire point. The fact is, like it or not, men are the ones who will have the wandering eye, you either accept that or you can get in line with all the other whining women crying about "why, why me and why do I always have to do all the work". A smart woman is one that accepts things for how they are and she uses all her resources to stay in the game. Not only will you stand out in a man's eyes you will also cater to what he ultimately craves, attention. Expecting to get an apple form a pear tree is not staying in the game, it is doing yourself a disservice and actually disqualifying yourself before you even have a chance. If a woman is going to stick to what she can get from the man before she gives then she might as well stay single or stay with another woman. Men are different if you cannot accept that you have no business being with a man. Not many have the guts to say what you do. At the end of the day I look at it like this. You can tell your husband to do something or you can ask him. I would rather be with someone who took the more feminine approach. If I wanted someone who acts like a man... I'd go gay.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I ask again, what is it husbands are supposed to do for their wives? So far I see wives are supposed to not let themselves go, have sex on demand, and enjoy it, and keep it exciting and different. They are supposed to make their husbands feel loved, needed, wanted, attractive, important, and the center of the universe. In a lot of cases, they are supposed to bear children, raise the children, and do the majority of the housework, while in even more cases holding down full time jobs themselves. What is it men are responsible for, again? I really must have missed it somewhere.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Not many have the guts to say what you do. At the end of the day I look at it like this. You can tell your husband to do something or you can ask him. I would rather be with someone who took the more feminine approach. If I wanted someone who acts like a man... I'd go gay. I've said it before, I don't believe for one minute MOST men are like this. However, I could be wrong, and that could explain why the lesbian rate is on the rise, especially among women who have been previously married to men!
Cobra_X30 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I ask again, what is it husbands are supposed to do for their wives? So far I see wives are supposed to not let themselves go, have sex on demand, and enjoy it, and keep it exciting and different. They are supposed to make their husbands feel loved, needed, wanted, attractive, important, and the center of the universe. In a lot of cases, they are supposed to bear children, raise the children, and do the majority of the housework, while in even more cases holding down full time jobs themselves. What is it men are responsible for, again? I really must have missed it somewhere. Yup... I'd say you did miss it. Do you want a husband... or someone to fight with? When you walk into a marriage thinking/feeling that he is out to get you... it's already doomed to fail. I've said it before, I don't believe for one minute MOST men are like this. However, I could be wrong, and that could explain why the lesbian rate is on the rise, especially among women who have been previously married to men! You can't run away from yourself. Lesbians have the same issues.
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Yeah, that was my take on that post as well. Hence the comment about my Ex MIL. She was like one of those night time soap opera matriarchs who always gives in to the guys' needs, meanwhile slithering about behind the backs of all the women, manipulating everyone with a sweet, sweet smile on her face. Come to think of it, she did get what she had coming to her, didn't she? I can tell you don't like your ex MIL, but don't you feel a little bad for the life she made for herself? She can't be happy, always getting pushed to the side for the men to always get their way. I sincerely hope I have raised my children better than that.
Milan721 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I ask again, what is it husbands are supposed to do for their wives? So far I see wives are supposed to not let themselves go, have sex on demand, and enjoy it, and keep it exciting and different. They are supposed to make their husbands feel loved, needed, wanted, attractive, important, and the center of the universe. In a lot of cases, they are supposed to bear children, raise the children, and do the majority of the housework, while in even more cases holding down full time jobs themselves. What is it men are responsible for, again? I really must have missed it somewhere. Oh you missed it? Here it is... they'll be more inclined to stay with you. And maybe take out the trash. Geez, I really have to wonder why on earth women want to get married so much?
Cobra_X30 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Oh you missed it? Here it is... they'll be more inclined to stay with you. And maybe take out the trash. Geez, I really have to wonder why on earth women want to get married so much? If that's how you think of your H... why are you with him anyway?
eeyore1980 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Yup... I'd say you did miss it. Do you want a husband... or someone to fight with? When you walk into a marriage thinking/feeling that he is out to get you... it's already doomed to fail. You can't run away from yourself. Lesbians have the same issues. Let me see if I have this straight. If I want a relationship where I don't have to constantly subjugate my needs in favor of his, then I am wanting someone to fight with, is that what you are saying? Where exactly did I say anyone was out to get me? I have said over and over I think men like that are definitely in the minority. I love men, I think they are great. It is not I who is throwing out the statements about men having little to no self restraint, acting like what they have in their pants dictates the way they treat others, like this is standard male behavior. This is not standard male behavior. Most men who get married love their wives, and are capable of treating their wives with respect, and caring about their wives needs, usually without having to even give it a lot of thought. That is called character. As far as lesbians, you are the one who said if you 'wanted someone who acted like a man', (and that would be yours and sarme's definitions of how men act, not mine) and I was pointing out apparently lesbians are on the same page as you, they don't want someone who acts as you feel men act, that's why they go for women, too. Seriously, why would anyone deliberately want someone like that? And while I am on the subject, I will address a different post. It seems a hell of a leap to me to presume because I asked what exactly is it the husband is supposed to do in the marriage means I am just sitting around expecting all my needs met without giving anything in return. You said I missed what the husband is supposed to do, so do me a favor and repeat it for me again, I am still clueless.
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