Curmudgeon Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I didn't say anything about a sense of entitlement??? I know a lot of people do let themselves go, men and women. LOL, not sure about the short hair thing... what if she already had short hair, some men LOVE that... Anyway, the same thing goes both ways. I don't think that in all affairs you can blame just one person. One person is not getting something(validation, affection, sex, attention) and they seek it elsewhere. It is partly the fault of the cheater and partly the fault of the cheat-ee. I know plenty of women who keep themselves hot and their bfs/husbands STILL cheat, and plenty of men who treat their wives/gfs like gold and the woman STILL cheats. It's all situational. Anyway, I thought we were talking about how wives are portrayed in the media??? Not whether it's real wives fault for getting "boring"... Of late they seem to be portrayed one of three ways -- Stepford, dowdy or glamorous and having affairs. Yet another example of how far our society has fallen into the lap of Hollywood and the Internet. Rarely does the media -- the movies, the checkstand rags or even the "legitimate" (an oxymoron for sure) press portray -- report upon or present the marriages in which there is love, ardor, fidelity, morality and values. After all, good news doesn't sell ads. It all conjurs up images of "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire." We're doing ourselve in as a society. Realistically, that a site like this exists at all on which people can openly "report" on their sexual proclivities, adventures, misadventures, preferences, dislikes, infidelities and which caters to and "protects" whores (Oops! Sorry! Escorts) Other Women and Other Men who clearly have little, if any, moral fiber shows how far we've fallen as a civil society and just about says it all.
Woggle Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Hollywood and TV tend to portray wives as uptight,frigid buzz kills and husbands as idiotic lazy slobs. Both are degrading and not true for many people but these are the images that get ratings and box office receipts.
foreverinlove Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I agree that it's possible for a woman to be wild and sensual in the bedroom, but many married men grow bored with their wives, so it wouldn't matter if they wore frilly garters to bed every night and did it all in the bedroom. It seems most men are all about glorifying loose women and surpressing those kind of instincts in their wives. Then they complain. Perhaps to give them ample excuse to do what it is they are naturally inclined to do. Well, my husband didn't grow bored, It's all about variety in the bedroom, but I think it also has a lot to do with appreciating him, making him feel wanted, and communicating. P.S. Celebrating our 42nd anniversary this year, and having the time of our lives, inside and outside the bedroom.
Siciliana Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 They are entitled to go ahead.... cut their hair short.. Short hair is bad Scriv?
Scrivdog Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 ..Well, my husband didn't grow bored, It's all about variety in the bedroom, but I think it also has a lot to do with appreciating him, making him feel wanted, and communicating. .. Exactly! With someone like you as his wife - he'll definitely be going nowhere else. Congrats!
Scrivdog Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) Short hair is bad Scriv? If it's one of those boy cuts - then yes is bad. Sorry. And in soccer-moms, it's pretty much an overt sign that they've relinquished their sexuality. Edited April 1, 2008 by Scrivdog
foreverinlove Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Exactly! With someone like you as his wife - he'll definitely be going nowhere else. Congrats! Thank you. It's so unfortunate that people always seem to have more important things to do and their spouse gets shoved to the side. When my husband approaches me with that look of desire in his eyes I just melt and drop whatever I'm doing. So what if the floor doesn't get swept. Life can be way too short to get bogged down with unimportant things. We both learned that the hard way. Within a short period of time we lost a 5 year old granddaughter, 6 months later a 16 year old niece, then within two years 3 brothers-in-law and a sister-in law. All were much younger than us. Their spouses would have given anything just to spend one more day with them and show them the love they wanted. So don't sweat the small stuff, it's not important. Love one another before it's too late.
Siciliana Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 If it's one of those boy cuts - then yes is bad. Sorry. And in soccer-moms, it's pretty much an overt sign that they've relinquished their sexuality. Well, I guess I am bad then My STBX likes it like this though. In fact he asked me to cut it. It was down past the middle of my back and I cut it as short as a man wears it! I donated it though... for the kids that have cancer. I'll never grow it back! I love it like this. But, it doesn't prevent me from being a freak in the sheets.. that's for sure!
Lookingforward Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 BTW... I'm not a big fan of the term slut. Me neither, but I sure hear it used a lot in this country (USA), but then statesiders HATE the word b**ch, which to me is nowhere near as derogatory - just culture differences I guess. As much as some may hate the way wives are portrayed, I hate the way OWs are portrayed. For a movie where the wife isn't stepford or prim etc, try jamie lee curtis in True Lies - oh and SHE had SHORT hair lol
JamesM Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 The "other woman" takes on many types and therefore married men or boyfriends have different reasons for straying. I think one thing sadly rings true in both these situations is the man's sense of entitlement. A deep-seeded belief that as long as we are paying the bills, providing things, and shelter, that we deserve to be awarded opportunity and variety. Add to this, the media's one dimensional portrayal of women in general and you have a social recipe for problems like JustBreath describes. While it is true that some men feel this way, many men feel that since they committed to fidelity (ie sexual relations) within the marriage bonds, then it is only logical that women will make that commitment easier rather than more difficult. Many of us men actually view sex with our wives as something very special, and when she views it as a chore and a duty that must be endured, it becomes not only difficult to remain faithful, it becomes unnecessary. "If she doesn't want to honor that vow, why should I?" Most men actually do not cheat even when they have that feeling, but in either case the marriage is left empty and loveless. Most men do not look for affairs...it is just that when an opportunity comes along at a time when they are most vulnerable, they have no reason to reject it. Lizzie is right. Men tend to be very honest with the prostitute...or the massage therapist ...when it comes to their marriage. She is a counselor and sex therapist. When I read how MM speak to their mistress (OW), it is mixed. Some men are actually very honest, while others do whatever is necessary to retain this woman who seems to appreciate him as a man again. Hard as it is to hear...wives DO need to remember that just as they desire a man who listens and spends alot of "emotional connection time" with her, a man wants that sexual intimacy time as a way that he feels affirmed of her love and connection to him.
JamesM Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Me neither, but I sure hear it used a lot in this country (USA), but then statesiders HATE the word b**ch, which to me is nowhere near as derogatory - just culture differences I guess. I always find this amusing. As someone who is involved with the Dog Show world, the word b*tch is used so easily that I find it hard to consider a nasty slang word for women. It is a real compliment for someone to say to a dog handler, "Nice b*tch you have there." So why is it a bad word? Sorry for the off topic comment...it just struck me as funny.
Mr. Lucky Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 So his wife finds out, and in the end his slim sexy mistress with long flowing locks, gives him a longful look, takes his face in her hands, kisses him and says "it was always you" as she exists all glamorous like, which the wife stands over there by herself, looking awkward in her little yellow dress and pinned up hairdo, only too grateful and eager to take him back when he walks over to her. Come on now, it's only a movie . How about the flip side plot, where the straight arrow, slightly nerdy but devoted guy gets to watch the girl of his dreams ride away on the back of the just out of prison, loser bad boy's motorcycle? Why does Hollywood glorify the tatooed ex-con drug addict over the average family man? Maybe it's because sex and scandal sells movies... Mr. Lucky
annieo Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 If it's one of those boy cuts - then yes is bad. Sorry. And in soccer-moms, it's pretty much an overt sign that they've relinquished their sexuality. My h has always had a thing for girls with short, pixie-cut hair (which I have). I've grown it out a few times, but then I tend to revert to short and he's always turned on by it when I do. He goes all gooey over short haired women (Angelina Jolie in "Hackers" was a first crush, and he went all ga ga over Natalie Portman when she had her hair in a Jean Sebergesque do recently). The one time that I know of my h being a complete jerk (went to a strip club when out of town and had some dances, then lied about it) the previous weekend, I had bought some serious lingerie (a la Lady Marmalade - bustier, garters, stockings and heels, very New Orleans bordello girl) and gave him a show where he could look and touch, while the kids were out of the house at a Halloween party. Two days later, he's at a strip club getting the same (minus the touching, or so I've been told), and paying for it. Needless to say, I'm not so into free shows anymore. Too much blaming the victim going on. On a different thread I recently read a quote from some movie, that I think is apt: "Whenever I see a beautiful woman, I think there's a man who is tired of fu*king her." Not all men are like this, I hope, but some/many guys won't be happy with one woman, no matter how sexy she is.
Scrivdog Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 My h has always had a thing for girls with short, pixie-cut hair (which I have). I've grown it out a few times, but then I tend to revert to short and he's always turned on by it when I do. He goes all gooey over short haired women (Angelina Jolie in "Hackers" was a first crush, and he went all ga ga over Natalie Portman when she had her hair in a Jean Sebergesque do recently). The one time that I know of my h being a complete jerk (went to a strip club when out of town and had some dances, then lied about it) the previous weekend, I had bought some serious lingerie (a la Lady Marmalade - bustier, garters, stockings and heels, very New Orleans bordello girl) and gave him a show where he could look and touch, while the kids were out of the house at a Halloween party. Two days later, he's at a strip club getting the same (minus the touching, or so I've been told), and paying for it. Needless to say, I'm not so into free shows anymore. Too much blaming the victim going on. On a different thread I recently read a quote from some movie, that I think is apt: "Whenever I see a beautiful woman, I think there's a man who is tired of fu*king her." Not all men are like this, I hope, but some/many guys won't be happy with one woman, no matter how sexy she is. I'll definitely concede that there are guys out there who will have affairs no matter what their wives are like. I don't know how often that happens - but evidently they have no desire to remain tied to one woman sexually no matter what I guess. I don't realy ubderstand the psychology behind that - but then again I don't understand how a guy can like women with boy cuts.
daisygirl Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 All this over a movie? Isn't it.....just a movie??? Of course there are lots of hot chicks in it. It's entertainment. I don't mean to seem insensitive, just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.
jj2007 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I wasn't able to meet all his needs, because I didn't speak to that other side of him that the whores did. I was the "wife". I see how men will take a vibrant, independent, smiling, sexual woman and turn her into a semi-frigid, sad creature, then complain because she isn't what he married anymore, doesn't want sex as much and I hurt for all wives out there married for years, and those newly married who will one day find themselves in my position. I know EXACTLY what you mean. So much it hurts.
Author JustBreathe Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Sure, it's just a movie. But the constant parade of nice wifey types holding mops, raving over clean toilet bowls and sprays that kill germs, and which peanut butter tastes best - then with the flip of a channel watching movies and t.v. series glorifying women who have no problem screwing married men. How much does it really affect men and their views on wives and women they cheat with? Even the loser chicks they cheat with? As I wife, I know I'm not even close to the prototype woman portrayed in the media, so the way it affects me is that it sort of irritates me. So, it can affect wives as well. Are we all impervious to those visual images dancing across the screen every day? It just galls me a little that's all. As a wife, having been been cheated on alot, things like stereotyping of wives as practically invisible and loose women as sexy and glorious, is more illuminated and real than it did before, at least insofar as I am concerned. It reopens the wound a little bit and it hurts. I wish it weren't so, but it does. Grow up? Yeah, I guess I need to. Thanks.
Lookingforward Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Sure, it's just a movie. But the constant parade of nice wifey types holding mops, raving over clean toilet bowls and sprays that kill germs, and which peanut butter tastes best - then with the flip of a channel watching movies and t.v. series glorifying women who have no problem screwing married men. How much does it really affect men and their views on wives and women they cheat with? Even the loser chicks they cheat with? As I wife, I know I'm not even close to the prototype woman portrayed in the media, so the way it affects me is that it sort of irritates me. So, it can affect wives as well. Are we all impervious to those visual images dancing across the screen every day? It just galls me a little that's all. As a wife, having been been cheated on alot, things like stereotyping of wives as practically invisible and loose women as sexy and glorious, is more illuminated and real than it did before, at least insofar as I am concerned. It reopens the wound a little bit and it hurts. I wish it weren't so, but it does. Grow up? Yeah, I guess I need to. Thanks. Then again, on the other side - doesn't it irritate you at all that the commercials portray husbands as inept buffoons ?
Siciliana Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I'll definitely concede that there are guys out there who will have affairs no matter what their wives are like. I don't know how often that happens - but evidently they have no desire to remain tied to one woman sexually no matter what I guess. I don't realy ubderstand the psychology behind that - but then again I don't understand how a guy can like women with boy cuts. Have you not seen Hailey Berry? Don't you think she is adorable and sexy even if her hair is shorter than yours?
Lizzie60 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Have you not seen Hailey Berry? Don't you think she is adorable and sexy even if her hair is shorter than yours? In order to have short hair like that.. a woman has to have a 'perfect' beautiful face.. Halle Berry does.. she is amazingly beautiful.. but I still prefer her with longer hair..
Author JustBreathe Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Halle Berry was cheated on..... now we know why.. it was the short hair.
Scrivdog Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Have you not seen Hailey Berry? Don't you think she is adorable and sexy even if her hair is shorter than yours? Nope. I thought she was hot until she cut her hair. After that - I had 0 interest. For me short hair=instant fugly.
45Reverse Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Does it really have to be like that? I believe that wives can be all that and then some. Amen to that brother...Amen.
Author JustBreathe Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Well I have a secret affinity for short hairy bald men with strange foreign accents but that doesn't mean I think all other men are fugly. It's a preference.
Siciliana Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Nope. I thought she was hot until she cut her hair. After that - I had 0 interest. For me short hair=instant fugly. LOL, can I get an Admin in here to change my name to Fugly please?
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