The wife - an unglamorous postition to be in

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Infidelity is a hard thing to face. And many times there are signs, before it happens. But, one has to be receptive of their partner. They have to talk to their partner. They need to remember what they use to do to catch their partner and keep it up in order to keep them. Granted as change comes into the picture (children, slowed metabolisms, realization of work responsibilities, maturity, sexual desire, and levels of emotional intimacy), partners need to change with them and that change mean communications (effectively sent, received, and returned information). As affections, realities, and communications change, that affects how partners interact with each other. That is where the window for the obstacles and road blocks to a marriage sneaks in.

 

Things like a man who stops bring home flowers, having date nights, and cuddling with his partner can lead to a feeling of being unwanted. A woman who changes her sexual habits or who refuse to try know things with her husband can lead a man to filling bored sexually (I just had a image of the wife with rollers in her hair, baggy pjs, and a worn out look on her face saying in a wry voice, "Come and get me big boy." (screams as I snap back to reality)). And while infidelity should NEVER be a resort (I think if there is no way for the two to get their marriage back on track, it is wiser to let it go on at least somewhat reasonable terms) having an affair to LIVEN up the relationship (reminds me of a Divorce Court case where a woman went to a swingers club to "Spice up their relationship." The problem was that he was not with her (yeah that's a big duh!)).

 

But in short, except for the relationship that was originally based on a lie and game playing, both partners need to take ownership in the failure of the relationship. And it is up on them to make logical decisions to what to do next, be it separation, divorce, or reconciliation.

 

 

DNR

[nadiaj2727]

I like to share what I'm thinking with my partner too.

 

I just don't feel the need to rub it in her face if I think someone else is hot. I don't see the point.

 

Men have been in the doghouse for less.

 

Understandable. I didn't mean I felt the need to rub it in his face, nor that I would want him to rub it in my face. As I said, there are subtleties to how much private thought to share depending on the relationship and the individuals involved. I just mean that for me, in the ideal relationship, we can tell each other when we find someone else attractive without either of us getting our panties in a bunch about it. It's really no big deal to me -- to me it's silly to get offended if my partner says someone else is hot, when I know they think I'm smoking hot and they meant nothing offensive by it. And vice versa.

[foreverinlove]

 

Things like a man who stops bring home flowers, having date nights, and cuddling with his partner can lead to a feeling of being unwanted. A woman who changes her sexual habits or who refuse to try know things with her husband can lead a man to filling bored sexually

DNR

 

 

I could never understand why that should change after marriage. After all, most people are very much in love with their spouse before they get married, why would they not feel the same way after they get married?

[twice_shy]

Understandable. I didn't mean I felt the need to rub it in his face, nor that I would want him to rub it in my face. As I said, there are subtleties to how much private thought to share depending on the relationship and the individuals involved. I just mean that for me, in the ideal relationship, we can tell each other when we find someone else attractive without either of us getting our panties in a bunch about it. It's really no big deal to me -- to me it's silly to get offended if my partner says someone else is hot, when I know they think I'm smoking hot and they meant nothing offensive by it. And vice versa.

 

And its admirable that you think that way and have that confidence.

 

In my experience, however, those that always seem to be commenting on how hot someone else looks and has a gawking problem do not have a real good track record where faithfulness is concerned.