Gold Pile Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Pick something you know he wouldn't like at all. Be it going somewhere he hates or something he wouldn't like in the bedroom. When he (hopefully grumbles) playfully challenge him to come up with something better...and new.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Pick something you know he wouldn't like at all. Be it going somewhere he hates or something he wouldn't like in the bedroom. When he (hopefully grumbles) playfully challenge him to come up with something better...and new. The one place I pick that he doesn't like is a bar that has music on the weekends - bands that I enjoy - he says its the distance, so I ask what would you like to do then, and he says well what else would you like to do
Timberlane Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Well, passivity usually goes hand in hand with a lack of assertiveness, which is probably why no sex so far. Gah. He can't be completely passive, though. He's got to be on some part of the spectrum, able to be pushed in one direction or the other eventually. Maybe you can teach him with some role playing? You can be the problem student and he his the headmaster.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Well, passivity usually goes hand in hand with a lack of assertiveness, which is probably why no sex so far. Gah. He can't be completely passive, though. He's got to be on some part of the spectrum, able to be pushed in one direction or the other eventually. Maybe you can teach him with some role playing? You can be the problem student and he his the headmaster. Aside from raping him, I don't know how else to get the sex part going. He maintains he wants to wait. He told me once he waited six months before sleeping with his last ex I don't know if I can go that long!
Gold Pile Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 This might seem crude... rape him. I'm sure he won't mind. After he has gained some confidence in the art of pleasing you, he'll develop a swagger of sorts, and draw the line with you. (sometimes). Or you can see ths as a unique opportunity to completely control a man. Kind of like my cashier lady. Life is a collection of experiences. This could be your domination phase.
Timberlane Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Aside from raping him, I don't know how else to get the sex part going. He maintains he wants to wait. He told me once he waited six months before sleeping with his last ex I don't know if I can go that long! Yeah, I don't know what that is about. It seems to me this is someone with a lower sex drive, which might not be compatible. Well, it's very doubtful he would press charges if you jumped his bones one night unexpectedly.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 This might seem crude... rape him. I'm sure he won't mind. After he has gained some confidence in the art of pleasing you, he'll develop a swagger of sorts, and draw the line with you. (sometimes). Or you can see ths as a unique opportunity to completely control a man. Kind of like my cashier lady. Life is a collection of experiences. This could be your domination phase. I dont want a dominate phase! I just don't function like that! I want a relationship that has potential to turn into marriage.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah, I don't know what that is about. It seems to me this is someone with a lower sex drive, which might not be compatible. Well, it's very doubtful he would press charges if you jumped his bones one night unexpectedly. We do other sexual things - just not the actual deed. And he gets into it - so it's not his sex drive. So sir what happened to you tonight? The girl I'm dating raped me and I told her no!
Balthazar Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Aside from raping him, I don't know how else to get the sex part going. He maintains he wants to wait. He told me once he waited six months before sleeping with his last ex I don't know if I can go that long! Just invite him over to your place for dinner. Romantic dinner(make sure the food isn't too rich), lots of wine, relaxing music (Morcheeba , Goldfrapp "black cherry" stuff), turn the lights down real low and make sure you are wearing something sexy. I would recommend a dress cut really low up front and a mini(if you have nice legs that is!). I personally appreciate the sight of a really shapely pair of legs. After dinner, over to your couch for some making out and before you know it! SEX. If this doesn't work, dump him; Something is wrong with the guy.
Timberlane Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I told her, "Nuuuuh---uhhhh--oooh! OOOOO! Uh-oh!"
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Just invite him over to your place for dinner. Romantic dinner(make sure the food isn't too rich), lots of wine, relaxing music (Morcheeba , Goldfrapp "black cherry" stuff), turn the lights down real low and make sure you are wearing something sexy. I would recommend a dress cut really low up front and a mini(if you have nice legs that is!). I personally appreciate the sight of a really shapely pair of legs. After dinner, over to your couch for some making out and before you know it! SEX. If this doesn't work, dump him; Something is wrong with the guy. My favorite Greek pickle! You've missed so much on the pickle post! We missed our mascot :love: We make out all the time. It leads to oral sex normally, and stops there. I think he's the first man to not try and sleep with me drunk Not that us being drunk is the only time we make out or have oral sex - just saying. He's 28 and says he's only been with 2 women because he fears STD's and unplanned pregnancies - which is understandable....
DanielMadr Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 it's only been about a month and a half, but we still don't have sex. I didn't mind before, but I'm getting a bit anxious. I know I know, there's nothing wrong with waiting, but how long? Actually given how things are going, I doubt he'd even initiate it... but I don't want to either because he's told me he likes to wait a while (however long that is). Like I said, wasn't a big deal, but now I'm kinda getting the itch lol BINGO. Freud was right. Being passive in picking up restaurant is no big deal when you are Mr. Initiative at other places. Prepare yourself for Mr. Would-you-like-it-if-did-this-@-or-this-|-with-my-tongue?
Balthazar Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Had to leave Dreamer. But don't worry, the pickle is perfectly preserved and ready to pounce! Look, concerning this guy, I understand what he is saying, but it is not normal to exercise such a degree of control around a woman. I mean, looking at your avatar, you are a fine looking young lady; this guy should be all over you; you should be beating him off with a stick. 6 months is a really long time Dreamergirl. It's may be August before he is ready!
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 BINGO. Freud was right. Being passive in picking up restaurant is no big deal when you are Mr. Initiative at other places. Prepare yourself for Mr. Would-you-like-it-if-did-this-@-or-this-|-with-my-tongue? Acutally - forgive me if it's too graphic - the first time we really started messing around ... I was giving him a hand job - he was done in literally like 1 min - he laid me on the bed - took of my pants and started giving me oral saying he didn't want me to think that just because he was quick like that doesn't mean he wants me to go pleasured.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Had to leave Dreamer. But don't worry, the pickle is perfectly preserved and ready to pounce! Look, concerning this guy, I understand what he is saying, but it is not normal to exercise such a degree of control around a woman. I mean, looking at your avatar, you are a fine looking young lady; this guy should be all over you; you should be beating him off with a stick. 6 months is a really long time Dreamergirl. It's may be August before he is ready! Great... I haven't had sex since December... waiting till August... I may as well join a convent.
Balthazar Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 You two are at another level I ain't been yet Dreamergirl. When I start getting hard jobs and stuff from a lady, it's gonna go down! There will be sex in copious amounts. There is no way I could stop at oral. Still, I guess such self-control can be a good thing....NOT!
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Sh*t - I've never been at this level either. It's darn confusing. Sex has always played a big part in a relationship for me. I mean I don't need to have it right away - but for me to be in an exclusive relationship (which we have yet to have that talk) I need sex.
Balthazar Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yes, I understand your point. Actually, I don't see how there can be a romantic relationship without sex. After all, sex is where the couple bonds. You can have great conversations with a person and enjoy each other's company; but that is not enough, and it is not a relationship! You are both in your 20's. If you don't enjoy lots of sex now, then when? I think you had better have a talk with this guy about his duties as a BF.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Well that's just it, we haven't had the are we bf/gf talk yet. Which normally I'd have had this talk by now as well. I was okay with taking things slower - but not this freaking slow.
SuperHands Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yes, I understand your point. Actually, I don't see how there can be a romantic relationship without sex. After all, sex is where the couple bonds. You can have great conversations with a person and enjoy each other's company; but that is not enough, and it is not a relationship! You are both in your 20's. If you don't enjoy lots of sex now, then when? I think you had better have a talk with this guy about his duties as a BF. While i wouldn't oppress you views, I don't think this statement is entirely an accurate one, as this would go against all practicising christians who obviously don't have sex until marriage. I'm pretty sure that you can have a romantic relationship with someone without sex. There are other ways to be romantic
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 While i wouldn't oppress you views, I don't think this statement is entirely an accurate one, as this would go against all practicising christians who obviously don't have sex until marriage. I'm pretty sure that you can have a romantic relationship with someone without sex. There are other ways to be romantic This is true for some people - but not for me - I need that part in my relationship. When I have something serious with a man - I feel sex is a great way to bond.
Balthazar Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Respect to your views, but I am not a practicing Christian. I don't think many people are.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 Respect to your views, but I am not a practicing Christian. I don't think many people are. Also, I know plenty of practicing Christians that have sex before marriage.
Balthazar Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I would never marry someone before having sex first. What if there is some major incompatibility? I may have a 2 inch pickle for example, or she may have one:eek:
Author dreamergrl Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 I would never marry someone before having sex first. What if there is some major incompatibility? I may have a 2 inch pickle for example, or she may have one:eek: :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: Or maybe she has two.... Anyways.. I dunno, I'm conflicted right now. I want to give him a chance - but those two areas are frustrating me. Also - given what I'm dealing with health wise - I don't find it easy to talk to him about it. I think that can come with time, but recently I had joined a site thats kinda like a support group for people with the same issues - and had started talking to a guy on there. Nothing flirty - or in anyway trying to start something else up on the side - but it's so comforting to be able to talk to the opposite sex about it, and not feel crappy about the situation. Having that understanding there. If it doesn't work out with this guy, I think I may go into that direction.
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