Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 I don't think the dilemma is solved as simple as that. You can find lots of men who are confident with beautiful women but have no confidence in fighting. And you can find lots of men who are confident in fighting and have little confidence with women and little success. You could substitute that with anything else. A man could be confident in a million different areas and still be unconfident with beautiful women and unsuccessful. That troubled me too. But look at it this way.....if you dont have fight-confidence you will lose the fight. If you dont have women-confidence you will not be able to "hurt" her - f*ck her hard or to slap her when she starts panicking about a bear in a cave.
themessenger Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 That troubled me too. But look at it this way.....if you dont have fight-confidence you will lose the fight. If you dont have women-confidence you will not be able to "hurt" her - f*ck her hard or to slap her when she starts panicking about a bear in a cave. maybe you just have a great sense of humor
cutegirl Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 OK you said you were 29. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you have something abnormal causing you too much anxiety and worry. Men just aren't that judgemental of women. They really don't nitpick that much. At your age, I'm not sure how you couldn't have realized this by now. Most of the time the other person is more preoccupied wondering what you think of them tobe analyzing you that much. I know I am overly paranoid. I have only been in two relationships my entire life and my first boyfriend WAS nitpicky, he wanted me to get breast augmentation and change various things about myself to please him. From my personal experience with the men I have interacted with, they ARE nitpicky and demand a lot from a woman and will leave right away if you are not up to par. Even my ex told me so.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I know I am overly paranoid. I have only been in two relationships my entire life and my first boyfriend WAS nitpicky, he wanted me to get breast augmentation and change various things about myself to please him. From my personal experience with the men I have interacted with, they ARE nitpicky and demand a lot from a woman and will leave right away if you are not up to par. Even my ex told me so. They're both idiots and not representative of the male pop. But you won't be able to get yourself out of this mental rut till you meet a man who treats you differently.
themessenger Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Cute girl i noticed that youd rather not say what gender you are in your profile....yet your a neurotic...cute girl.....is there something else we should know?
cutegirl Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Cute girl i noticed that youd rather not say what gender you are in your profile....yet your a neurotic...cute girl.....is thee something else we should know? I'm female. I don't feel like writing anything in my profile, as you can see I also didn't mention where I'm from, age, occupation, etc
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Daniel I never claimed to know everything but i know enough. And your response seems arrogant which in a social setting with hot chicks you wish you were nailing would find in poor taste. So geeze forget about it. Good catch wannabe Ooops. Im sorry man, I ddint mean to. I had to re-read my post --yep--Know it all - sorry - it wasnt ment to be that Know-it-all.
themessenger Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 (edited) OK cute girl just checking, well i would seriously consider talking to someone. You just need to chill out cutie. If you keep worrying about the turbulence your never gonna enjoy the plane ride. Edited March 31, 2008 by themessenger
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 I know I am overly paranoid. I have only been in two relationships my entire life and my first boyfriend WAS nitpicky, he wanted me to get breast augmentation and change various things about myself to please him. From my personal experience with the men I have interacted with, they ARE nitpicky and demand a lot from a woman and will leave right away if you are not up to par. Even my ex told me so. They were major azzholes. But it is not the reason for your problems. These reasons were there before you met these azzholes - if you were OK you would show them a finger when they start to control you throug humiliating you. Parents?
cutegirl Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 They were major azzholes. But it is not the reason for your problems. These reasons were there before you met these azzholes - if you were OK you would show them a finger when they start to control you throug humiliating you. Parents? I don't think it's parents. More like low self-esteem. I am aware of the fact that a "normal" female with a decent sense of self respect would have shown these guys the finger, I was just anxious to keep the guys any cost, even if it was my own expense.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 I don't think it's parents. More like low self-esteem. I am aware of the fact that a "normal" female with a decent sense of self respect would have shown these guys the finger, I was just anxious to keep the guys any cost, even if it was my own expense. Maybe because you are too hard on yourself - you dont want to fail. Low self-esteem people tend to be that way. They are bad enders. Low self esteem is not a trait you are born with. Demanding parents or other circumastances or because you are intelligent, charming etc. and therefore you believe there are higher expectations put on you (too hard n yourself). That you have an advantage over other people so you have to be better. So when you havent As in school and perfect boyfriend your self-esteem goes down and down to a vicious circle. I try to find very good article dealing with this. I tell you this. Learn to love yourself. Not some narcisstic love though. Dont pitty yourself, thats what kids do. Dont be too hard on yourself. Dont blame your parents or whoever even if they damaged you for real. And especially dont blame yourself. Mistakes are here to learn from them and make us stronger.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Maybe because you are too hard on yourself - you dont want to fail. Low self-esteem people tend to be that way. They are bad enders. Low self esteem is not a trait you are born with. Demanding parents or other circumastances or because you are intelligent, charming etc. and therefore you believe there are higher expectations put on you (too hard n yourself). That you have an advantage over other people so you have to be better. So when you havent As in school and perfect boyfriend your self-esteem goes down and down to a vicious circle. I try to find very good article dealing with this. I tell you this. Learn to love yourself. Not some narcisstic love though. Dont pitty yourself, thats what kids do. Dont be too hard on yourself. Dont blame your parents or whoever even if they damaged you for real. And especially dont blame yourself. Mistakes are here to learn from them and make us stronger. Maybe you should take your own advice. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders. So why not listen to what you've written above?
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 What is the fight theory? When you become nervous before a fight, your comrades will not like it/you (nature tells them not to like it/you), because nervous people most likely get beaten. when you become nervous around a woman, she will not like it/you (nature tells her not to like it/you), because you might be a bad fighter and/or you wont be able to put her in place when needed or it can signifies you have doubts about yourself as a person ?? Bottom line - I think that a man should be both - no doubts fighter and no doubts around women - to be a mature Man. How can you lead a tribe if you can get nervous-manipulated around women. That is probably what nature meant. And second thing - doubts around women signify you will be a clumsy lover.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Maybe you should take your own advice. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders. So why not listen to what you've written above? I sure do. These advices are the best I came across, thats why I remember them. I just want to reasure you that this thread is highly phylosophical/scientific/abstract one, not a personal one. I would certainly be more specific and wouldnt mask it as science if I needed personal advice. I really appreciate your concern about me though. Really do. And thanks for the input - it helped me quite a lot.
Kiss Dont Miss Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 If you are a bit nervous, it means you like someone. And for this someone your shaking knees means you want her. It's a kinda sign.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 If you are a bit nervous, it means you like someone. And for this someone your shaking knees means you want her. It's a kinda sign. Yeah. Neon sign with blinking red letters like I.N.S.E.C.U.R.I.T.Y.
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