DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I was recently forced to "advice" on a matter of seducing. And I incidentally wrote the most depressing thought I ever formulated. Please tell me it is not so. I adviced that you have to be really relaxed, at ease, laid back, ready to die....bla bla.... .....However once you meet a girl that seems to be a True Love of Your Life on a first sight, you will be forced by your unconsciousness to be a little nervous, because you dont want to screw that one(actuall you do - you know what I mean)....and your chances start to go down from there. Its probably natures way for keeping males frustrated and hence active...... Please tell me that a guy is not sentenced by nature to attract only those girls who dont make him feel dizzy.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I was recently forced to "advice" on a matter of seducing. And I incidentally wrote the most depressing thought I ever formulated. Please tell me it is not so. I adviced that you have to be really relaxed, at ease, laid back, ready to die....bla bla.... .....However once you meet a girl that seems to be a True Love of Your Life on a first sight, you will be forced by your unconsciousness to be a little nervous, because you dont want to screw that one(actuall you do - you know what I mean)....and your chances start to go down from there. Its probably natures way for keeping males frustrated and hence active...... Please tell me that a guy is not sentenced by nature to attract only those girls who dont make him feel dizzy. Sentenced by nature? I doubt it. You meet who you meet. Sometimes it's what you attract, sometimes it's just by chance. What exactly is your question? Are you afraid you won't meet "the one"...only temporaries?
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Sentenced by nature? I doubt it. You meet who you meet. Sometimes it's what you attract, sometimes it's just by chance. What exactly is your question? Are you afraid you won't meet "the one"...only temporaries? Nope. I mean when you meet The One (of many) who makes your knees shake, well she wont be attracted to you. Why? Because your knees are shaking.
Porn Man Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Nope. I mean when you meet The One (of many) who makes your knees shake, well she wont be attracted to you. Why? Because your knees are shaking. You'd be surprised how many women think that is cute. I think that everyone is a little nervous at first when meeting someone new. As long as that nervousness is only temporary, then you'll have nothing to worry about.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Nope. I mean when you meet The One (of many) who makes your knees shake, well she wont be attracted to you. Why? Because your knees are shaking. True attraction is mutual. I don't believe in unrequited love (b/c if it's not reciprocal it ain't really love or anything substantial for that matter). I'm not a big fan of guys who get nervous and flustered. BUT, there is one guy that I know...when he trembles, my heart melts. Trust me, if she's the one (or one of many as you put it), she'll find the knee shaking and stuttering (and whatever else) cute. Obviously, it has to stop after the initial butterflies... IF you're always shaking, you may have a problem.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I was recently forced to "advice" on a matter of seducing. And I incidentally wrote the most depressing thought I ever formulated. Please tell me it is not so. I adviced that you have to be really relaxed, at ease, laid back, ready to die....bla bla.... .....However once you meet a girl that seems to be a True Love of Your Life on a first sight, you will be forced by your unconsciousness to be a little nervous, because you dont want to screw that one(actuall you do - you know what I mean)....and your chances start to go down from there. Its probably natures way for keeping males frustrated and hence active...... Please tell me that a guy is not sentenced by nature to attract only those girls who dont make him feel dizzy. I'm not understanding your question..but I think I do. I think you're saying...with most women you are always at ease and calm..and you tell other guys to do this.. but.. when you find the "one", you find that you go against what you tell others...that is..."you are not calm" "you are not relaxed".. and this makes you depressed.. because the women worth getting..make you feel this way..and is this very nervousness that you feel makes you not get this woman. and my answer to that is this. Yes, you can be calm and relaxed with all women..even if she is a drop-dead gorgeous girl. You have to warp your mind and realize that she's human. In other words...you have to blot all of these thoughts out of your mind. Who cares if you think you're not being "cool" or "calm" with her. Just be yourself...because if you're being yourself, you'll naturally be at ease. the problem is that most guys who see a drop-dead gorgeous girl...is that they STOP acting like themselves. they start treating her differently...and you lose the game. "Never, never, never be afraid to approach a female. To reiterate: they all have the same body parts, and they are all composed of Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and trace elements. There isn't a single woman on Earth who is "above" you, no matter what her affectations and social pretenses."
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 You'd be surprised how many women think that is cute. I think that everyone is a little nervous at first when meeting someone new. As long as that nervousness is only temporary, then you'll have nothing to worry about. Yeah, puppies are cute too. It doesnt mean you want to let them, you know. Come on man, when you have ever seen a girl go for a guy that was nervous about her, except in movies maybe?!
Porn Man Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Yeah, puppies are cute too. It doesnt mean you want to let them, you know. Come on man, when you have ever seen a girl go for a guy that was nervous about her, except in movies maybe?! It has worked on me in the past. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean that its out there. You just need to find a good girl so that you stop feeling this way about women.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 True attraction is mutual. I don't believe in unrequited love (b/c if it's not reciprocal it ain't really love or anything substantial for that matter). I'm not a big fan of guys who get nervous and flustered. BUT, there is one guy that I know...when he trembles, my heart melts. Trust me, if she's the one (or one of many as you put it), she'll find the knee shaking and stuttering (and whatever else) cute. Obviously, it has to stop after the initial butterflies... IF you're always shaking, you may have a problem. Nope. The mutual attraction wouldnt be there, because he is not in his skin. So BAM, nothing happens. Sorry to ask you but that guy is not trembling because of you is he? No, she wont find it cute. She will think the guy is another wimp.
Porn Man Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 No, she wont find it cute. She will think the guy is another wimp. and you know this for certain how?
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Nope. The mutual attraction wouldnt be there, because he is not in his skin. So BAM, nothing happens. Sorry to ask you but that guy is not trembling because of you is he? No, she wont find it cute. She will think the guy is another wimp. He is not in his skin... But isn't the the nervousness and the shaking a result of you being around her? In which case, he's just being himself in that moment. If he was putting on an act and trying to be all sexy (or whatever he thinks she wants to see) then it's not really him. And yes, the guy trembled b/c of me. And he's a guy's guy. You know, your typical alpha male. Normally I find that kind of stuff a little annoying and a turn off. It used to gross me out. But with him...when we first met and remet (we're in a LDR), it honestly does make me swoon. I'm telling you, she won't necessarily think he's a wimp. I used to be that girl (like I said). I remember many instances when a guy would get nervous ...and to be honest, that itself was enough to make me run. I thought, "gah, he's soo nervous...where is the confidence." Am I making sense?
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 I'm not understanding your question..but I think I do. I think you're saying...with most women you are always at ease and calm..and you tell other guys to do this.. but.. when you find the "one", you find that you go against what you tell others...that is..."you are not calm" "you are not relaxed".. and this makes you depressed.. because the women worth getting..make you feel this way..and is this very nervousness that you feel makes you not get this woman. and my answer to that is this. Yes, you can be calm and relaxed with all women..even if she is a drop-dead gorgeous girl. You have to warp your mind and realize that she's human. In other words...you have to blot all of these thoughts out of your mind. Who cares if you think you're not being "cool" or "calm" with her. Just be yourself...because if you're being yourself, you'll naturally be at ease. the problem is that most guys who see a drop-dead gorgeous girl...is that they STOP acting like themselves. they start treating her differently...and you lose the game. "Never, never, never be afraid to approach a female. To reiterate: they all have the same body parts, and they are all composed of Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and trace elements. There isn't a single woman on Earth who is "above" you, no matter what her affectations and social pretenses." Goddamit, FormerNiceGuy dont paternize me here. And answer me this. Why you have to pretend in order to get The girl? There is Relaxed-Yourself and there is Nervous- because-I-want you- Yourself and there is Nervous-but-Pretending -not-to-be-Yourself. Why nature made it so? thats my question. Because If the girl is nervouss, thats cute. If the guy is nervous, thats wussy. Why? Okay with practice you can learn to dont blink an eye when someone fires from a tank - but doesnt it mean you are half-deaf????
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 and you know this for certain how? Quite certain. Unless the guy was nervous with all girls even those not so The One. And the girl that didnt mind it, well, he was VERY good catch for her so she didnt mind his nervousness - she wanted handsome sons. You know all those really handsome guys dating the what-a-f*ck- girls? Thats them.
Porn Man Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Quite certain. Unless the guy was nervous with all girls even those not so The One. And the girl that didnt mind it, well, he was VERY good catch for her so she didnt mind his nervousness - she wanted handsome sons. You know all those really handsome guys dating the what-a-f*ck- girls? Thats them. It depends on more then just how he looks. It varies per person. You can't say that every girl will be turned-off by that.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 He is not in his skin... But isn't the the nervousness and the shaking a result of you being around her? In which case, he's just being himself in that moment. If he was putting on an act and trying to be all sexy (or whatever he thinks she wants to see) then it's not really him. And yes, the guy trembled b/c of me. And he's a guy's guy. You know, your typical alpha male. Normally I find that kind of stuff a little annoying and a turn off. It used to gross me out. But with him...when we first met and remet (we're in a LDR), it honestly does make me swoon. I'm telling you, she won't necessarily think he's a wimp. I used to be that girl (like I said). I remember many instances when a guy would get nervous ...and to be honest, that itself was enough to make me run. I thought, "gah, he's soo nervous...where is the confidence." Am I making sense? Why you behaved differently in His example then? Didnt run away?
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Why you behaved differently in His example then? Didnt run away? Because there is something about him. We started talking before we actually saw each other in person. I was sure that I'd get turned off when I saw him (I was scared that he'd become nervous). But when I saw him and saw him tremble, it didn't really scare me. My gut reacted a bit right away (a little bit of "err"...) but that went away quite quickly. I found it endearing...that I could elicit such a reaction from him. It was really the first time I felt mutual attraction. I was into him as much as he was into me.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 It depends on more then just how he looks. It varies per person. You can't say that every girl will be turned-off by that. Certainly, when the girl is plane Jane and the guy is Hot-as-Hell-Intelligent- Nervous-Nice Guy-Wussy, she wont mind. But if she is Hot-as-Hell-Intelligent-whatever-Girl she will run.
Porn Man Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Certainly, when the girl is plane Jane and the guy is Hot-as-Hell-Intelligent- Nervous-Nice Guy-Wussy, she wont mind. But if she is Hot-as-Hell-Intelligent-whatever-Girl she will run. Like I said, everyone is different.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Certainly, when the girl is plane Jane and the guy is Hot-as-Hell-Intelligent- Nervous-Nice Guy-Wussy, she wont mind. But if she is Hot-as-Hell-Intelligent-whatever-Girl she will run. She'll run because she'll pick up on your defeatist attitude. You have to think you're hot stuff. That stuff comes across in waves to us ladies. Really.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Because there is something about him. We started talking before we actually saw each other in person. I was sure that I'd get turned off when I saw him (I was scared that he'd become nervous). But when I saw him and saw him tremble, it didn't really scare me. My gut reacted a bit right away (a little bit of "err"...) but that went away quite quickly. I found it endearing...that I could elicit such a reaction from him. It was really the first time I felt mutual attraction. I was into him as much as he was into me. Interesting. Now please, I dont want to plant any doubts in your mind or to disrespect you, but isnt it that He is in much higher league. You know what I mean, that he is really the good catch and you feel that his only flaw-his nervousness actually makes you feel safer, that he wont be the player? Anyway congratulations in either way. Great catch;)
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 She'll run because she'll pick up on your defeatist attitude. You have to think you're hot stuff. That stuff comes across in waves to us ladies. Really. Thats what Im talking about - pretending - conquering the nature- why is it that way? Can you see what bothers me? Look, dont worry about me - my emotional outcome was once describe as piece of rock.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Interesting. Now please, I dont want to plant any doubts in your mind or to disrespect you, but isnt it that He is in much higher league. You know what I mean, that he is really the good catch and you feel that his only flaw-his nervousness actually makes you feel safer, that he wont be the player? Anyway congratulations in either way. Great catch;) Hmm...I don't know that he's necessarily in a higher league than me. It really depends on who you ask. Some would say I'm the catch, while others would say he is. But really, I think we both deserve each other. I think the biggie about him is that I really do respect him. I admire many of his qualities and think he's a swell guy (on the whole). Mind you, he has his flaws...some of which have affected our relationship. But then again, I too have my flaws (again, some of this found its way into the R and caused some drama). On the whole, we are both average people who find each other very attractive.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Thats what Im talking about - pretending - conquering the nature- why is it that way? Can you see what bothers me? Look, dont worry about me - my emotional outcome was once describe as piece of rock. It's not pretending if you believe it. You need to take a good look at yourself and see the positive qualities that make you, you. Get me? I know that sounds so cheesy, but it's true. That is the thing I most love about my bf, his sincere confidence.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Hmm...I don't know that he's necessarily in a higher league than me. It really depends on who you ask. Some would say I'm the catch, while others would say he is. But really, I think we both deserve each other. I think the biggie about him is that I really do respect him. I admire many of his qualities and think he's a swell guy (on the whole). Mind you, he has his flaws...some of which have affected our relationship. But then again, I too have my flaws (again, some of this found its way into the R and caused some drama). On the whole, we are both average people who find each other very attractive. Of course you are the catch, I can tell that Thats maybe the problem (luck in your example) that you had a chance to know each other beforehand. But when two people meet for a first time and when it doesnt click, they wont see each other again like in subway......first- impressions and such What flaws can you have? Im sure it is not anything you cant get rid of like a wooden leg for example.
themessenger Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Daniel you've given me allot of great advice so i'm gonna do the same for you. It seems that you are a complex guy with alot to offer. When in the correct setting you shine like a star. The problem is I'm noticing allot of coments about handsome men or what not. If your face to face with the girl of your dream all your insecuritiescome to the surface. My suggestion to you is to work on those insecurities. Also don't forget to bear in mind that You don't have to be a ten or rich to nail hot chicks. Rent a movie called "The Tao of Steve". Now this girl that gives you butterflies will keep giving you butterflies but you have to take her off that damn pedistal. And yes women are gonna find nervousness and vulnerabilty cute if rationed out to them sporadicaly. Especialy if they notice you don't act that way around other people. It will make them feel special. Just don't let it show to much keep it inside and ejoy that butterfly feeling for yourself.
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