barefoot880 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Ok so I met a new girl about 10 days ago. I've got about 2 dates in with her. She and I have kind of hit it off. She calls me everyday like 3-4 times per day. Now either she's needy or she has high interest level in me like 90%. The problem is my interest level in her is only 55%-60%. She does not give me much of a chance to chase her with phone calls. I got like 5 missed calls on my cell phone from her today. Most guys would ask how to raise the girl's interest level but I don't seem to have a problem here. She chases me with phone calls and we talk for like 3 hours on the phone every night. She's already made sexual gestures towards me. But in my case I need help on getting my interest level up. Why is that? because so far I see potential with her. We click on so many levels spiritually and intellectually. I want my interest level to go up so that I don't throw away a potentially good thing. I'm still grieveing the end of my last relationship which lasted 4 years so that might have a big part in keeping my interest level in this current girl down. I think that we met at the wrong time. If I wasn't still grieveing over my last relationship I could probably give her 90%-95% interest level right now. I just don't know. I see how she and I are more compatible than I was with my ex but yet my interest level in her is only mediocre. I'm hoping my interest will rise after getting in 4 or 5 more dates with her.
dreamergrl Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 If you need time to recover from your previous relationship, you should probably talk to her about this. It's not to say you can't continue to get to know her, but let her know where you're at so you can attempt to be on the same page. Make sure she knows you see potential. Your interest may rise if the calls decrease as well.
D-Lish Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I think you're having trouble getting interested because she doesn't give you a chance to chase her. She's pretty much laid all her cards on the table and there is absolutely no challenge present here for you. Someone needs to be giving her the advice to pull back a little and let you initiate things for a change. I bet your level of interest would be raised if you didn't hear from her for a couple days and it made you wonder what she was doing or if she was still interested.... I really don't think it's you that has the problem here... I think it's her. She is the one that needs to settle down and let you come to her.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 The complaints on here...I swear. When somebody gives you a sandwich, you don't complain. You just take it. When you go to Costco and there are samples there, you take it and don't complain about it.
Author barefoot880 Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 I already have told her that I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet since I'm going through a rough patch right now and that my emotional wounds from my last breakup are still fresh and need time to heal. As I said we've been talking for like 2-3 hours every night on the phone so we've had lots to talk about all this time. Somehow we got on the topic of relationships. Today she has only called once so I am feeling my interest level in her rise a little bit. She's been on my mind more today because of that. I'm sure the less she calls the more I'll think about her and probably end up calling her myself.
Nuguy12 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 she has high interest level in me like 90%. The problem is my interest level in her is only 55%-60%. THis is a perfect ratio. She does all the work and you get the benefits.Where is the problemo ? Can you imagine the flood of replies that a woman would get here if she posted the same. "THis guy calls me 5 times a day after two dates and he is infatuated and I am only luke warm. HOw can I get to like him more ?" Jeez, gimme strength.
Author barefoot880 Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 You are right. I guess I shouldn't want my interest level to rise into the 90s otherwise I could turn into a needy wuss. Granted guys can do some crazy things when their interest level approaches 90%. But I would like my interest level to get into the 75%-80% range. That's healthy. This range is a good balance where I can make an effort to love her but at the same time continue pursuing my own interests and activites outside the relationship.
Portage Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I don't know?? You can't force yourself to like someone because you see the potential chemistry. Most definitely she is the aggressor in this scenario, however, once the 'honeymoon phase' is over, regardless of who is chasing who, or who holds the strings...won't your interest level drop to below your required level?? It could all be in the timing, or the interest may be mediocre at best regardless of your similar interests. Just a thought...
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