Hey guys, if you had a date with a woman and you decided you weren't interested.....

[Advocate's Devilette]

would you call and leave a message on her phone that you decided to 'give it a shot' with your old girlfriend just to make it clear to her that it wasn't over? Or if you said that on the message, would that be the actual truth?

This has happened to a friend of mine and she feels that he just wanted to end it for sure, and that he just used the 'old girlfriend' excuse to get rid of her for real, clean break.

[Tony T]

Leaving a message like this on an answering device instead of telling someone in person is the sign of a coward and a low class scumbag. It would be bad enough if it was an outright lie.

[Noelle_eds]

regardless of it was the truth or not...he no longer wanted to date her and he made that clear by letting her know that.

[Jilly Bean]

It's a lie. It's the same one I use to get rid of a guy when I try to let him down easily and I want to avoid a scene. I tell him Im getting back with an ex.

 

Are we talking about your guy who hasn't called you for two weeks here?

[Advocate's Devilette]

No, it's my friend and she hadn't even slept with him. Just a date and she hung out at his house once.

 

It's a lie. It's the same one I use to get rid of a guy when I try to let him down easily and I want to avoid a scene. I tell him Im getting back with an ex.

 

Are we talking about your guy who hasn't called you for two weeks here?

[D-Lish]

I'd have to agree that regardless of whether he is getting back with an ex or not- he is saying he doesn't want to date your friend.

 

Yes- it's a bit cowardly to do it in a voicemail, however, at least it's something. It's better than never calling again and leaving your friend wondering what the hell happened.

[Krytie TV]

So many people complain about those who disappear or "don't call". At least he did call, and it's not his fault she didn't answer. Also, I would question why it's true or not even matters. Either way it's really the most flattering thing he could probably say. Anything else would likely leave her feeling more rejected.

[FormerNiceGuy]

Do it face-to-face. It's the honorable thing to do.

[Star Gazer]

So many people complain about those who disappear or "don't call". At least he did call, and it's not his fault she didn't answer. Also, I would question why it's true or not even matters. Either way it's really the most flattering thing he could probably say. Anything else would likely leave her feeling more rejected.

 

I agree. This is one of my standard lines when I'm not feeling it but can't honestly tell the guy why without really hurting his feelings.

 

Besides, it was one date. Since when do we require a face-to-face explanation for why things aren't going to progress after only one date??

[Advocate's Devilette]

That is very good insight. Thank you Krytie TV.

 

 

So many people complain about those who disappear or "don't call". At least he did call, and it's not his fault she didn't answer. Also, I would question why it's true or not even matters. Either way it's really the most flattering thing he could probably say. Anything else would likely leave her feeling more rejected.

[Mary3]

How about this one : Met a guy for the first time from on`line and within 20 minutes I told him ( In the middle of the drink before dinner ) That I did not feel any connection. I know its harsh but after the stuff that came out of his mouth , major drama stuff , I could not listen to any more and it was a real attraction killer.

 

He pleaded with me to still have dinner but by then I had lost my appetite.

 

Not all bad dates end this way. Some with emails . But in this case I was so disgusted by what I heard I ended it in record time and said it to his face.

[Balthazar]

I went out for a few dates with a young lady last summer. However, by date 3 she was starting to get a bit pushy and clinging, wanted me to meet her mom, etc...

I needed to cut it off and used the " still seeing my ex/unfinished issues with my ex" excuse.

I used it because the alternative would be to tell her "I'm not ready for a relationship yet" , which would have caused the specific lady to call me incessantly(she was such a case, unfortunately).

Hope that helps Devilette