stlnsmile Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 How do I get over the feeling of being and utter useless piece of nothing. I never have felt this way in my life. I am a confidant person. He's with her now, and she is great.....and it just makes me feel like nothing all over again. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter if she's great, and even if he loves her, because he really wasn't good for me. He really wasn't. Yet I find myself just feeling like a ball of no good jello. I don't want to feel like this anymore. He doesn't deserve my emotions. I just keep getting those messages......he's with her, because you weren't good enough....bla bla bla. I'm so torn apart, and I was fine, doing really fine, up until 5 or 6 days ago. Damn it! Ahhhhh, I hate that he can do this to me. I hate that I can't stop these stupid thoughts from running through my head. Helllpppp!
motive2002 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 he really wasn't good for me. He really wasn't. You've just nailed your own mantra. Repeat it back to yourself. Out loud. People choose partners for the darndest reasons.. and sometimes it makes no sense.. but I can tell you it has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. If he fancies her more than you, for whatever crazy reason, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. We are all very unique people, and come with our own intrinsic value. You are a worthwhile person and nobody can or should make you feel otherwise. If he really wasn't good for you, then look at this as an opportunity to find someone who is. Don't waste any time comparing yourself with someone else. You are you, and you will find a better match.. for you.
carhill Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Even though he's still alive, you're grieving the death of a relationship, a union that meant a lot to you, something which had a life of its own, and is now gone. It's a process. Allow yourself to feel the pain fully. Share it. Grieve it just like if a person close to you had died. Acknowledging the loss fully will bring a healing process, the end of which will find you ready to invest yourself fully in a future relationship. The important thing is healing you
tealeafbud Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 You've just nailed your own mantra. Repeat it back to yourself. Out loud. People choose partners for the darndest reasons.. and sometimes it makes no sense.. but I can tell you it has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. If he fancies her more than you, for whatever crazy reason, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. We are all very unique people, and come with our own intrinsic value. You are a worthwhile person and nobody can or should make you feel otherwise. If he really wasn't good for you, then look at this as an opportunity to find someone who is. Don't waste any time comparing yourself with someone else. You are you, and you will find a better match.. for you. This for me is a breakthrough. I'm going through something similar, and when I read this, a light bulb came on in my head. when we are trying to get over somebody, we don't value ourselves very much. If we would just realize what was said above that we do have our own intrinsic value, that there is nothing wrong with you, and that if your ex has feelings for someone else, it has nothing to do with you (although we think that it does in some sick and twisted way). We need to value ourselves more, lift our self esteem a little bit, stay focused on you, and not what once WAS, and use this time as an opportunity to better yourself for you. Because we deserve the best. I hope that this realization at 3am will help me get through this difficult time. Thank you, motive.
Recommended Posts