LoveLace Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I'm trying my hand (again) at the online dating thing...once we exchange numbers and start talking on the phone, and it's clear we like each other so far, how much is too much of calling a guy at first? Do they prefer to do the calling only in the beginning or always?
thehappycynic Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I'm trying my hand (again) at the online dating thing...once we exchange numbers and start talking on the phone, and it's clear we like each other so far, how much is too much of calling a guy at first? Do they prefer to do the calling only in the beginning or always? It depends on the guy, but I usually let them make the first moves. It gives them a sense of control and power, and most men like that. I will initiate a call every now and again, so they know I'm thinking about them, but I wouldn't call every day. A friendly text message can go a long way too ...
carhill Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I'm weird (for a guy) but I've had no problems talking to my female friends for an hour or more at a time every couple days and we're not even dating Most guys like being in charge of contact in the beginning. If you're busy and he gets VM, try to call him back the same day. Everyone is different, but I think voice and IRL is the best way to get to know someone. E-mail is great for thoughts/philosophies, etc and texting for quick notes, like meeting up, etc. Stimulating the senses is where it's at for me, and that takes real contact.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I'm trying my hand (again) at the online dating thing...once we exchange numbers and start talking on the phone, and it's clear we like each other so far, how much is too much of calling a guy at first? Do they prefer to do the calling only in the beginning or always? With guys..it doesn't matter. I think they find it flattering when it's the girl who calls them.
Star Gazer Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Well, I'll repeat what I've said before. Don't talk on the phone before meeting. If you must, chat only to arrange the meeting. That way you don't get too invested...
guy.lepage Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I think too much calling is when one person initiates 3+ calls before the other person initiates one.
Author LoveLace Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Well, I'll repeat what I've said before. Don't talk on the phone before meeting. If you must, chat only to arrange the meeting. That way you don't get too invested... I'm never comfortable meeting until I've talked on the phone first. I think it's hard to be too "invested" just from a few phone chats, anyway, investment doesn't start for me until there's actual encounters. That's just me though...although phone chats definitely help with what I think of their personality.
Star Gazer Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I'm never comfortable meeting until I've talked on the phone first. I think it's hard to be too "invested" just from a few phone chats, anyway, investment doesn't start for me until there's actual encounters. That's just me though...although phone chats definitely help with what I think of their personality. You were very, very hopeful with "Bill." That wouldn't have happened if you weren't invested. The fact that you're even asking about calling a guy you met online too much prior to meeting him suggests you are, in fact, calling him too much. Just my two cents.
Author LoveLace Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 You were very, very hopeful with "Bill." That wouldn't have happened if you weren't invested. The fact that you're even asking about calling a guy you met online too much prior to meeting him suggests you are, in fact, calling him too much. Just my two cents. Of course I was hopeful it would work with Bill. I"m "hopeful" with any cool guy I meet. We talked on the phone once a day for a week and went out once. Wasn't that into him and hoped he felt the same, which he did. So not too much "investment" there...besides if you want to get to know someone you have to invest at least a little...AND...he was the one calling everyday, out of all those days I think I initiated one call and maybe one the night before we went out. Then yes, I was willing to think my interest might grow so I called once more, and he called once more as well, but I think we were just trying to let the other down nicely, which worked out nicely. I've sord of met a guy but we've both only called once. I asked about it because I don't want to talk everyday like I did with Bill, however that was his doing. Maybe the question is did I feel that he was calling too much?...yea, I admit maybe a little but I was still perfectly happy to talk with him.
Winfield Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I think they find it flattering when it's the girl who calls them. ^^ Agreed - hey, it's only fair! And as for calling beyond the initial meeting - call when you have something to say / something to ask, not just because you feel you have to... If and when you do meet in person though, go with an open mind - that way, depending on how the "date" goes, you'll find it easier to take 'em or leave 'em!
Author LoveLace Posted April 1, 2008 Author Posted April 1, 2008 I'm trying to refrain from being the one to suggest we meet...and let him do MOST of the calling, and wait for him to ask me out...we'll see..
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