CourtInNY Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Here's the deal: Boyfriend is insensitive. MAJORLY. I am super sensitive. SUPER. We butt heads all the time. There is no one else on Earth who makes me feel so awful. Everyone else in my life is capable of dealing with me but him. And yet- when I'm not feeling down on myself or dealing with my own horrible thoughts- he's wonderful and funny and sweet. I can't change. He won't change. He's awful to me sometimes- but a lot of it comes from his misunderstanding of my mood disorder/weird past. We've been together for 4 years. We live together. I don't want to break up. I want to relate to this man without sacrificing who I really am. Or choosing between crying and burying my feelings when he is mean. WTF
carhill Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Therapy... Try this test to gauge whether you are sensitive (as in caring) or have a sensitive nervous system. Different things... http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm IMO, if you are polar opposites in sensitivity and one or both of you is not introspective, things will never change. Therapy should help you decide this.
Walk Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I can't change. He won't change. He's awful to me sometimes- but a lot of it comes from his misunderstanding of my mood disorder/weird past. We've been together for 4 years. We live together. I don't want to break up. I want to relate to this man without sacrificing who I really am. Or choosing between crying and burying my feelings when he is mean. Are you getting help for the mood disorder? I feel for you. Its hard enough to get through everyday problems without having additional problems piled on top. I'm not sure what to tell you that might help your situation. There are a few things you hinted at the sound a bit like my relationship was with my fiance. A great deal of my problems with my SO were a direct result of poor communication between us. It took a huge effort on both of our parts to learn how to effectively communicate to each other what we needed and wanted in the relationship. Even simple things such as a hug when feeling down, or to have him listen for a bit when I had a hard day. What would you say is the biggest cause of the problems you're having? How would you describe your bf's words/actions when he's being insentive? Could you give more information on how you interpret the situation, and what you think/feel about it?
shanny Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 You can't bury your feelings your whole life. You will live a miserable existence. It's hard to believe that after four years he still doesn't get you. If he doesn't after four years, then I doubt he ever will. I know you love him and don't want to leave but you have to weigh the options. Does loving him make up for living a miserable life? I can't see how. You should see a doctor. The world of pyschiatric science is amazing. I am bipolar and my once miserable life is not livable due to medicine. It doesn't change you, it just lets you live your life to the fullest. Good luck.
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