Author themessenger Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 I have a perfect example. I very briefly dated a guy who initially seemed charming, polite, fun, etc but ended up being an out and out psycho especially with the clingy/needy and jealous thing. He started out with a life of his own, and then moved in on mine - he stopped hanging out with his friends, he stopped going out, he quit his job to take one in town - and he did this because he didn't want me out of his sight. He got to the point where he would follow me if I left without me knowing. I found out later that where ever I went he would follow, park his truck and watch me until I left - the grocery store, my girl friend's house, my family's house, running errands, etc. If I even looked in the general direction of another guy he would say.. "you want to f*ck him? Is that why you are looking at him"? And then he would go start a fight with the guy! That kind of asshattery I can do without. If I see even a WHIFF of that kind of behavior in a guy now, I'm done with him. what do you think his reasons were for acting that way?
lovestruck818 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Okay messenger... why would you ask women what traits they want, then dismiss their input? Since you asked and maybe other guys might find it helpful... Traits that are a turn off: A.) Men who are narrow minded, can't take critism, and/or are unable to laugh at themselves. B.) Men without backbones. C.) Clingy, overly needy men who pout when things aren't the way they want them. D.) Lives with mommy and daddy after he's 20. E.) Walks like someone kicked him in the groin one too many times. (walks hunched over and looking at the ground) F.) Men that blame others for the bad things in their lives. Traits that are attractive: A.) Men who are capable of listening to others input with an open mind. B.) Don't take themselves too seriously and can laugh at their own mistakes. C.) Men who take action instead of those who continually talk about it but never do anything. D.) Confidence. E.) Has boundaries and isn't afraid to enforce those boundaries if needed. F.) Financially capable of taking care of himself and helping those he cares about. G.) Men who can do honest evaluations of themselves and who can take responsibility for their own behavior, mistakes, or misfortunes. H.) Men who can allow someone else to have an opinion even if its different from his own, can discuss those differences as an adult and doesn't imply the other person is wrong for their opinion. I.) Has a job and can actually keep it. J.) Is capable of finding transportation. ie. Either owns his own car, or can use public transport to get everywhere a person needs to go. K.) Doesn't make his gf drive to see him all the time, doesn't take all her money. There is nothing wrong with living at home after 20. In fact I think 20 is a bit young to be out on your own...considering most people are still in college and don't have stable income/jobs at that age. It also depends which part of the country you live in. My county is one of the highest priced places in the country for real estate (nassau county long island)- and our property taxes, to boot, are astronomical. Most people here live @ home well into their late 20's, early 30's...b/c they can't afford to move out. I am closing on piece of property next week...it's a tiny tiny sudio co-op that I paid about $130k for. You can get an entire house with a huge backyard & pool for that price in other parts of the country. My boyfrien will be 27 this summer and he still lives @ home. Nothing wrong with it. It's actually a very smart move- it allows you to save money to buy something one day. It's renting that is really stupid b/c you don't really save any money from renting.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 There are more levels to racism or homophobia than just you either Love or Hate homos or eskimos. If you dont see it, well then you are a dogmatic....and I wouldnt date you Stupid....because all it matters is if you make her melt and wet. If not, then there are 1million things she can find wrong with you. I have to agree with this. If he doesn't have that certain something to make you swoon, nothing else matters. You'll find something wrong. The zing! has got to be there!
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 What are some things about men that would make a girl reconsider her relationship? or for that matter even giving someone a chance. Arrogance, although assertive confidence is an aphrodisiac.Inability to think rationally.Inability to commit.Inconsistency.Inability to carry a decent conversation.Dumb..dumb, dumb, dumb...DUMB...Cheap.Superficial.Inability to compromise.Selfish.Ungrateful.Can't drive properly. He'd better be able to outdrive me.
lovestruck818 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Okay messenger... why would you ask women what traits they want, then dismiss their input? Since you asked and maybe other guys might find it helpful... Traits that are a turn off: A.) Men who are narrow minded, can't take critism, and/or are unable to laugh at themselves. B.) Men without backbones. C.) Clingy, overly needy men who pout when things aren't the way they want them. D.) Lives with mommy and daddy after he's 20. E.) Walks like someone kicked him in the groin one too many times. (walks hunched over and looking at the ground) F.) Men that blame others for the bad things in their lives. Traits that are attractive: A.) Men who are capable of listening to others input with an open mind. B.) Don't take themselves too seriously and can laugh at their own mistakes. C.) Men who take action instead of those who continually talk about it but never do anything. D.) Confidence. E.) Has boundaries and isn't afraid to enforce those boundaries if needed. F.) Financially capable of taking care of himself and helping those he cares about. G.) Men who can do honest evaluations of themselves and who can take responsibility for their own behavior, mistakes, or misfortunes. H.) Men who can allow someone else to have an opinion even if its different from his own, can discuss those differences as an adult and doesn't imply the other person is wrong for their opinion. I.) Has a job and can actually keep it. J.) Is capable of finding transportation. ie. Either owns his own car, or can use public transport to get everywhere a person needs to go. K.) Doesn't make his gf drive to see him all the time, doesn't take all her money. You should not want to rely on a man to financially care for you...you should want to make enough money to care for yourself. Sadly, most women want the former and that is what I truly believe makes women 2nd to men in this society.
Author themessenger Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 Can't drive properly. He'd better be able to outdrive me. drive properly? outdrive you?
Author themessenger Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 I have to agree with this. If he doesn't have that certain something to make you swoon, nothing else matters. You'll find something wrong. The zing! has got to be there! OK tell me what about guys gives you the zing
Siciliana Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 OH my god where do you find guys with teeth like that? Funny thing is they are everywhere, men and woman. I am an accountant and I work with people that make an @sston of money. There is this woman I was working with the other day that just had the worst rotting smell in her mouth. I have counted at least 10 people with in the last few months that are all well off/can afford dental care who have bad teeth like that. I just think that they don't realize that other people can smell it and are too lazy to take care of their teeth. I think they think gum covers it or something, but it really doesn't. It is not that the smell is over powering, but tooth decay is a VERY distinct smell and even the faintest scent coming from a guys mouth is a deal breaker for me. It disgusts me entirely.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 drive properly? outdrive you? If he can't handle his car, he can't handle me.
carhill Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 She's a fellow racer. Cuts apexes with the best of them, right?
Author themessenger Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 do you guys race cars or something?
Ocean-Blue Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 What are some things about men that would make a girl reconsider her relationship? or for that matter even giving someone a chance. - poor hygiene - pedantic - disrespectful to elders - professional victim - can't laugh at himself (takes himself far too seriously) - boring (unimaginative, predictable) - short (wouldn't dismiss him right away, but I am not really attracted to them) These are just a few that come to mind. Most of them are deal breakers for me.
lovestruck818 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 What are some things about men that would make a girl reconsider her relationship? or for that matter even giving someone a chance. - poor hygiene - pedantic - disrespectful to elders - professional victim - can't laugh at himself (takes himself far too seriously) - boring (unimaginative, predictable) - short (wouldn't dismiss him right away, but I am not really attracted to them) These are just a few that come to mind. Most of them are deal breakers for me. Short? Really? Something so superficial as height would make it a dealbreaker? To each her own I guess...although for me persoanlly, I love short guys! They are so cute!!
Siciliana Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 OK tell me what about guys gives you the zing A woman knows within minutes of meeting a man if she would ever sleep with him. I am not saying they would sleep with them immediately. But, they know, for sure, without a doubt, if they would NOT. It is so hard to qualify what it is about a particular man that make me want to tear his clothes off and burry my face in his lap.... But...eyes, smile, intellect, wit, charm, compassion, consideration, respect mixed with a sex appreal is what I would say.
Trialbyfire Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Nothing beats hitting the apex and then, pedal to the metal, while two tons of metal hugs that curve, like a long, lost lover. Yes, fellow racer, but for bragging rights only.
lovestruck818 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 A woman knows within minutes of meeting a man if she would ever sleep with him. I am not saying they would sleep with them immediately. But, they know, for sure, without a doubt, if they would NOT. It is so hard to qualify what it is about a particular man that make me want to tear his clothes off and burry my face in his lap.... But...eyes, smile, intellect, wit, charm, compassion, consideration, respect mixed with a sex appreal is what I would say. I can't say within minutes of meeting a man if I WOULD sleep with him, but yes, I would def. know if I WOULD NOT.
Author themessenger Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 It is so hard to qualify what it is about a particular man that make me want to tear his clothes off and burry my face in his lap.... But...eyes, smile, intellect, wit, charm, compassion, consideration, respect mixed with a sex appreal is what I would say. could you expand on sex appeal?
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 what do you think his reasons were for acting that way? I have no idea - he was just an abusive jerk. I found out later that he used to beat the sh*t out of the girl he was dating before me. The last day I saw him that wasn't just in passing or in public, he threw a punch at me - missed and put his fist through the wall. I ended up having to involve the police to get rid of him. He continued to bother me and interfere with my life right up until I moved away not long after that.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Short? Really? Something so superficial as height would make it a dealbreaker? To each her own I guess...although for me persoanlly, I love short guys! They are so cute!! Yes, I admit it is superficial...but I prefer tall men. However, I wouldn't outright dismiss a man because of his height...BUT, he'd have to have that certain je ne sais quois to capture my interest. It's just what I like. I've met some pretty awesome guys of smaller stature, but in terms of raw, sexual attraction, it's just not usually there for me. Short and petite just ain't my thing.
Siciliana Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 could you expand on sex appeal? that is what I am saying is so hard to qualify. ... i know I love a guy with nice hands, legs and a great meaty ass.... juicy lips...mmm damn... it has been too damn long.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 What about hairy bald men? Or bald hairy men? I actually like men with hair. Chest hair is hot. Not the "I gotta rug on my chest" kinda chest hair...but enough to be able to run your fingers through it. That's mucho sexy (at least to me anyway). I'm not a fan of hairless men. Balding men...hmm. I guess I can deal with that. It's just hair after all.
witabix Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I actually like men with hair. Chest hair is hot. Not the "I gotta rug on my chest" kinda chest hair...but enough to be able to run your fingers through it. That's mucho sexy (at least to me anyway). I'm not a fan of hairless men. Balding men...hmm. I guess I can deal with that. It's just hair after all. Only JUST in my case.....slaphead----->
lovestruck818 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Yes, I admit it is superficial...but I prefer tall men. However, I wouldn't outright dismiss a man because of his height...BUT, he'd have to have that certain je ne sais quois to capture my interest. It's just what I like. I've met some pretty awesome guys of smaller stature, but in terms of raw, sexual attraction, it's just not usually there for me. Short and petite just ain't my thing. Well I happen to be 5'1" so for me...yeah I like the little ones. Lol. We are like a pair of 4th graders together...it's honestly very cute. Annnd hah just so you know...not all short men have little schlongs. Quite the opposite in fact.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Well I happen to be 5'1" so for me...yeah I like the little ones. Lol. We are like a pair of 4th graders together...it's honestly very cute. Annnd hah just so you know...not all short men have little schlongs. Quite the opposite in fact. Nah, I don't judge a man's prospective member just based on his height. And I'm sure you two look cute. So long as he makes you hot, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, right? Me, I'm just almost 5'5. Not very tall. But my bf is 6'3. And that's just the way I like it.
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