2sunny Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I'm considering meeting this guy i have corresponded with on the internet. we are both in our 40's. he has seemed very nice and respectful so i am confused about the intentions of this statement from him: Sorry to push a bit but there has to be a physical deal or this won't go anywhere. To which i responded with: very true. will never know until we meet... was he referring to chemistry upon meeting (because we haven't even met yet.... or was he referring to sex right away? (which seems extremely bold). if you think his reference was to sex in this context before an initial meeting - then i don't want to bother with him. i guess i am confused about his intentions with that comment - advice please!
Author 2sunny Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 dang - i was afraid of that. seemed so nice too... i almost overlooked my gut reaction to reading it... said he doesn't bounced around - and has only had 3 lovers since college... that is why the comment caught me by surprise.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I'm considering meeting this guy i have corresponded with on the internet. we are both in our 40's. he has seemed very nice and respectful so i am confused about the intentions of this statement from him: Sorry to push a bit but there has to be a physical deal or this won't go anywhere. To which i responded with: very true. will never know until we meet... was he referring to chemistry upon meeting (because we haven't even met yet.... or was he referring to sex right away? (which seems extremely bold). if you think his reference was to sex in this context before an initial meeting - then i don't want to bother with him. i guess i am confused about his intentions with that comment - advice please! He's saying sex.
Art_Critic Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I think the context means alot.. What context did he say that ? Personally from what you have posted it means he has to have a physical attraction to you.. Sex would be a very bold thing for him to mean from the get go.. Does your profile seem to look like you might interested in a ONS?
Art_Critic Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 One thing is for sure though is that it is a statement that can go either way.. maybe that is how he meant it.. He might be trying to test the waters some.. I still think he meant physical attraction though
Author 2sunny Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 i agree with you AC - after thinking about it a bit - i realized it possibly had different meaning than when i responded. i interpreted it as chemistry. also the fact that he's in his 40's and has only had sex with 3 gals since college - which would include his ex-wife. i suppose i may need some clarification from him - but geez, i don't even want to ask!
Nevermind Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Sex. Not because of the physical bit, but because of the words "push" and "deal". Here is why: If he had been referring to attraction only, why would it have been a push? I mean, if there is no attraction, there is no relationship. That's a basic fact. Nothing pushy about it. Deal. Maybe it's all the PUA talking those days but this to me sounds like you're supposed to lay out. Ask him to clarify.
marlena Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Hi! I think that you should ask him just exactly what he means. Nothing wrong with open communication. It shows you are confident. Then, take it from there depending on his answer and what you personally want.
Author 2sunny Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 I Does your profile seem to look like you might interested in a ONS? not at all! simple and basic all the way!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I don't like this guy. I would be wary. I mean really, who says they want to "push" (very aggressive term, don't you think?) you into physical relations when you haven't even MET each other yet? Gross.
Art_Critic Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I think that you should ask him just exactly what he means. Nothing wrong with open communication. It shows you are confident. Then, take it from there depending on his answer and what you personally want. I agree with Marlena.. nothing wrong with asking him..
directx Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 You may not know how he uses words. I wouldn't jump to assumptions on what he means because that is unfair to him. Just simply ask him, without your guesses to what it means or any hint of what your are feeling when you read it. My first interpretation was he just wants to see you and start making it real. Sure, he could be thinking about sex as well, but I got the sense of a little frustration on his part, not with you but the situation. Now, I am assuming you talked to this guy a long time. If it was just a few times, he's jumping the gun and probably wants sex then. But honestly, none of us can answer for him, so you have to.
Author 2sunny Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 I agree with Marlena.. nothing wrong with asking him.. and asking him might be worded how? proper wording for clarification - that is...
Recommended Posts