MalachiX Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Brief recap: My GF of 2 1/2 years split up about a month an a half ago. We were doing the long distance relationship thing and she was frustrated that we still hadn't talked about plans to be together in the future. This hadn't happened because I was really at a low point in my life and felt bad asking her to come down and live with me when i was doing so poorly. She was in grad school and I didn't want her to sacrifice her career for mine which wasn't even working very well. She dumped me rather harshly then, three days after she called me and was clearly ready to make up. I was so incredibly low at that point that I kind of talked her out of it. I told her that all the bad stuff she ever thought about me was true and that she was better of without me (I was the most miserable I'd ever been and I'm a pretty melodramatic person). Anyway, the conversation didn't go well but a few days later she started calling me again and it was almost like we'd never broken up. We didn't say I love you but we still talked like boyfriend and girlfriend and awknowladged we missed each other. She was sweet and called me on my birthday and continued to be supportive. Then, on her birthday no less, she totally cut contact. It was frustrating because I was trying hard to do something nice for her but she wouldn't return my calls. We didn't talk for a month. I continued to try to send her e-mails but didn't get much of a response. I'd written out a long e-mail, apologizing for everything and telling her I loved her but I knew she had some major exams coming up and didn't want to give her more drama when she was studying. I just sent encouraging stuff. Finally, I saw on Facebook that she was done with her exams and sent the mail. Immediatly afterwards, I looked on her Facebook page and saw that she's now listed back with her old boyfriend. The ******* one who she'd gone on about how sexist and most-likely-gay he was (and who lives far away as well). I don't know if this is real or not (I repeat, she was rather sure he was gay when we were dating) but I'm totally at a loss now. I feel horrible. I avoided any attempt at dating since the break-up because I knew I still loved her. Seeing her move on so quickly is just killing me. I think more than that, it makes me feel like the relationship meant nothing. When I'd hear here go on about her previous two boyfriends and learned how quickly she started dating me after break-up with her last one, I would get worried I just got her on the rebound. Now, seeing her go back to this guy that she complained about so much only seems to confirm it all. It's like I was just a two and a half year breather for this other guy. I thought I was coping OK until this. I'm sure you guys here this a lot but I need something to help me deal with this and fast. I always thought in the back of my mind that things would somehow work out.
jimo Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I can almost feel your pain, but I think the best thing for you is to just forgive her and let her go. I know this is probably not what you want to hear right now, but this is the best thing to do if you want to have even any chance of getting her back. We attract what we are not in need of. Neediness, desperation = repulsion confidence, indifference = attraction So I suggest that you move on. There may be someone else waiting on the horizon or it may even be this lady but you won't know until you've reached the horizon.
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