Long Dist. Relationships: Friend or Foe?

[danPsycozee]

Ok so here's how it goes. This is my story:

Back in High School there was this girl I really liked. So I started flirting with her and what not. Let me tell you that I wasn't too experienced with girls and love and all that. So apparently she was digging me. One day I ask her out by pure pressure from friends and she said yes. So we started dating. At first it seemed fun and what not, but I was 16 years so all I wanted was to hang out with my friends and goof around. We were two months into the relationship and she called it quits because basically I didn't want to hang out with her as much as she was expecting. This was in 2004, now let me tell you what happened three years later. More specifically, December 23, 2007.

I was at a party one day and I didn't know she was there, and she literally pulled me away from this girl I was dancing with. She was tipsy, and started telling me that she can't stand seeing me dance with such "slut" and that I know better. As she was talking and lecturing me I pretty much knew where this was heading to: she wanted to get back together. So we did, she told me that I'm smart and funny and sweet and we should be together again. Our first kiss was magical! After we kissed I told her that I wanted to do that for a long time and she said she wanted to do it too. Before officially going out I told her that I didn't live there (I live in Arizona) and she goes to school in my home country in South America, but she said that she didn't care. So we gave it a shot.

It's been wonderful. This girl is not the most expressive one ever, but the feelings came back and I was in love with this girl (still am).

Now that we have been together for 3 months and 5 days, I have thought a lot... and I mean A LOT about our future. I would totally see ourselves getting married and ****. She is a classy girl, funny, cute, smart, conservative, and I absolutely love her. She says she loves me too.

Our communication is good not great. I call her 2-3 times a week and talk for about an hour, text her multiple times and IM every other day.

The only thing I don't like about it is that I get depressed randomly. My grades are going down, my mood shifts easily, I'm always thinking of her, and yati yata.

I will be seeing her in two months and will spend summer with her (although in South America it is winter when it's summer here).

We haven't argued one single time, we trust each other sooo much it is almost unreal. NOW MY QUESTION IS: IS OUR RELATIONSHIP A VOLCANO THAT'S ABOUT TO ERUPT?

My love for this girl is extremely big, and I don't know what I would do if she breaks up with me. I have never EVER cheated on her and never will do so, even though I had the chance because I'm in a fraternity. Neither of us believed in LDR before I left to college and now look at us.

I can honestly say that I am in love and have never felt this way. But I don't know if thinks about our future and she just sticks with the "live the moment" bull. I don't know what to do. Do we have different expectations? Is she just experimenting?

THANKS FOR READING THIS. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT

[dancinggal]

First of all, in terms of communication, you guys are doing pretty much what my boy and I do. And we've survived for 10 months on opposite sides of the world, dealing with everything, including the time difference.

 

As for your down periods, its important for you to know pretty much everyone in a long distance relationship experiences these feelings, but DO NOT LET YOUR WAITING FOR HER CONSUME YOU. I am concerned that you are letting your grades drop because of her, and I know its difficult to concentrate, but please don't let it affect you so much that you let other things in your life suffer. It is extremely important to remember to continue to live and go forward in your life.

 

Lastly, it doesn't sound like you have clarified your expectations or future plans with each other, which is vital for the survival of a LDR. Unfortuanately, an LDR is not fun, and cannot be very spontaneous, and there is very little scope for 'living in the minute'. You have to have a plan in order to be able to know when you guys are going to be able to continue your relationship in the same place. Otherwise you will go insane. Believe me, a deadline makes dealing with the sitution a hundred times easier.