josh2828 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Hi everyone just looking for some advice on an ex. so I've been broken up with her for a little over 2 years, were together for 6 years. I ended the relationship, to many fights and we where both immature. i know that she is currently in a relationship with someone since a few months after we broke up. I've tried not to have contact with her, but its like clockwork with her, about every 3 months she calls to see how i'm doing. there have been times she has drunk dialed and just wanted to start talking about the past. these last couple months shes called wanting to hang out, I've declined until last week. went out to dinner and just caught up, unfortunately there really is no catching up to do, since she calls every so often. I still care and have strong feelings toward her, especially since i saw her this last time, but i know she is in a relationship. Even though she does not mention it, i found out through a mutual friend. so im not sure what her intentions are. i mean i could understand her just making a phone call once in a great while like once a year or something, but this has me confused, when i ended it i told her i couldn't handle us just being friends. this has me bothered, because i end up getting her out of my head, and when she calls i start thinking about her constantly. any advice. thanks
Easydoesit Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 She cant have her cake and eat it too....she has the best of both...is the way I see it...Have you dated...anyone...? Does she know, that you still care about her? THis is a hard one...I am in the same boat...as my ex, almost a year now, is involved with a girlfriend....and has contacted me...the whole time...its a dance..persay....I finally realized that he was probably keeping me, on the backburner..in case it does not work out with this other person.. She may be doing the same thing....it is not fair...to you...but it is your choice, to keep it going....I finally changed my phone number, and have stopped all contact with him....and guess what...he got pissed... We teach people how to treat us....if we go along with it...I cant live in limbo..anymore...hanging on every word...like you said, it just makes it much harder when you do hear from them...I have to believe that they know exactly what they are doing.... Hope this helps....take care of yourself first....
Author josh2828 Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 thanks for the advice, yeah i have dated a few women nothing serious though, im mostly concentrating on my career. i have not told her exactly how i feel about her, ive just played it off cool, nonchalant so to speak. but i am thinking about setting up another dinner date with her just to clear things up and see what it is she wants, and being straightforward with her, im not sure if that would be a good idea. but your right it is a pain in the ass, trying to figure out every now and then their motives.
macon Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 She may not be sure about what she wants from you. It sounds like you're a bit of a comfort blanket for her - she'd probably like to have you waiting in the wings - someone she can always go back to for emotional support. Best thing you can do is decide what it is you want and then go for it. If you want her back then set up the dinner date and tell her. If you don't want her back and this on/off contact of hers is driving you crazy, then you probably need to cut off contact altogether. You can do that by having one last meeting to explain it if you feel you need to, or you could do it by just choosing not to accept her calls anymore. However you implement it, just be sure you focus on what your intentions are, not hers.
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