pelicanpreacher Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 My friend, you need to throw this new relationship back and return to turning over rocks! You are a long, long, long way from being ready to commit to a LTR, much more, one with a troubled or disturbed individual. Now is the time to take your time so take it slowly for time is on your side.
Geishawhelk Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 ......I also have a girlfriend right now and the relationship is rocky. She is depressive and has high-anxiety right now and is seeking professional help. I do not know that I have the energy to deal with her so I am confused in what to do because I have feelings for her. My friends say I am moving on to soon and that I am not ready for another relationship. Perhaps they are right and perhaps they are not. Listen to your friends. you have enough on your own plate right now, to deal with, without having a GF with baggage and issues. Too much. You're going to have to step away from this one, and give yourself space to breathe and time to heal. Don't stay with her out of sympathy, concern or pity. Wrong reasons. Selfish as it may seem, you really do have to look after yourself right now. Rebound it is, but not with an ideal person.....
SingleDad Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Ouch on your wife's pregnancy with another man's child. I don't doubt that I may someday be in your shoes. Well - it's a huge slap in your face that your marriage is clearly over and you need to move on... But as the other posters indicate... a LTR with someone with her own issues is way too much right now.
TrustInYourself Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Sounds like fun. I just had a 30 minute argument with my wife over combining our finances into one joint account. I guess having reservations is something I shouldn't have if I want our marriage to work out. Honestly, relationships are a pain in the ass and if you open yourself up to another relationship, I hope you are prepared for another ass kicking. Best wishes! LOL.
Author Shin0bi1 Posted November 5, 2008 Author Posted November 5, 2008 Hey all, thank you for taking the time to post in my thread. Yeah, I done lot of thinking and I think it is for the best that me and my girlfriend remain as friends. She wants to come up this Sunday to take her stuff back so I don't have to be constantly reminded of her. I think it is a good idea but I am not sure if I want to see her this soon. Something really messed up happen on Monday and I am still bothered by it and having a hard time dealing with it. Probably wait a couple of weeks for to meet her in face to face. On the good news is I am having dinner with my son tomorrow night and this weekend I have him for some more father/son fun! :-) -Shin0bi1 P.S. - TIY, I sense you are pretty bitter and angered right now. Its all natural homie. You need to allow yourself to have these emotions to process it out of your system. You will be in for one rollercoaster ride like I experienced... there is sanity out there... it just taking a bit longer to get to. The hardest thing I have to deal with is accept my failure in my marriage and realize that it was not all my fault. I have forgiven my STBXW even though it stings for me being forced to move on. But more importantly, i have found some strength to try and forgive myself and that i am not the sole cause of the divorce and the stress that it is doing to my son.
Author Shin0bi1 Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Hey all, it was around this time a year ago my STBXW told me that she no longer was in love with me and I was begining to suspect another guy in her life. It's hard to believe how much has changed in me as a person since that fatefull event last year. Yup still ticking here and I am much renewed with life... They weren't kidding that it takes 12+ months for the moment the love of your life drops the bomb on ya and changes your life forever. I believe I changed my life for the good from that point on however it is soooo easy to go the destructive route. Wanted to let everyone know here who supported me to have a nice holiday that is coming up and that you guys/gals really helped me thru a tough time. I am sure there are plenty of challenges that I will face in the future but I think for now, i am starting to feel confident about myself. "Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence" - Lin Yutang -Shin0bi1
Author Shin0bi1 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Hey all!!! I just wanted to tell you guys and gals that my divorce is official and finally i'm legally separated and single! I've celebrated the entire weekend like it was new years party of 1999 lol! Just wanted to share my happiness! -Shin0bi1
dead-dyke Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Congrats Shin- It's good to keep reading about your continued and ongoing happiness. Party on!
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Congradulations. I really hope your ex hasnt been giving you any problems. I see you have a great life ahead of you. More fun to come.
Kic Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Your story is motivational! I am glad everything turned out ok.
Author Shin0bi1 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Your story is motivational! I am glad everything turned out ok. We all have our stories of triumphs and downfalls but I am glad that there are people that can learn from mine and understand that they are not alone in this. This forum really helped me out in the worst of times and wanted to give back to the community here. Thanks to all for the kind words and support, I will never forget ya'll! As far as me and the ex-wife, hahah she is an ex not a stbxw lol, anyways we are cordial with each other. At the divorce court, where other couples couldnt stand each other and sat on opposite sides, me and my ex-wife sat together and joked and talked about good old memories. It was like two friends hanging out with no beef with each other. Weird huh? I learned from my marriage and other relationships is that you take the good with you and leave the bad in the past. I harbor no ill will to my ex and she does not wish that upon me either. The respect is there and maybe...maybe we will be friends one of these days but i doubt it. Anyways she moved on and is happy with her life and i am happy with mine. My son just turned 6 and he is happy to be with the both of us even if we are separated/divorced. I couldnt ask for more ... happy lil 6 year old boy jumping into my arms everytime he sees me and wants to tell me everything he did that day lol. My true strength was focusing on my son and everything became very clear to me. That moment of clarity happens to all of us, sooner or later, but more importantly you realize what is healthy for yourself and what balances you out in the end. We all have the right to pursue our happinesses and mine happens to be me and my son in this adventure we call life. Hopefully I will find that special someone one of these days but seriously, that is soooo far removed from my mind that im not thinking about it. All I can think about is what i need to do in my life and what i need to do keep myself happy! And so far, I feel the youthful spirit in me that I have not felt in a long time. Oh yeah... I am able to do things that I put off for so long. Feels good to get these little goals out of the way! Peace, Shin0bi1
Darth Vader Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Hey all!!! I just wanted to tell you guys and gals that my divorce is official and finally i'm legally separated and single! I've celebrated the entire weekend like it was new years party of 1999 lol! Just wanted to share my happiness! -Shin0bi1 That's great! Just make sure you're not paying for her other child from her OM.
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