How long should I wait?

[Frieda]

Need advice. I am early 20's male.

 

I was walking to campus from the parking lot when I noticed a female student carrying 2 small bags with her from the parking lot. I walked next to her, smiled casually, and asked "may i carry that for you?"

 

She smiled and said yeah and gave me the lighter one. We walked two steps and reached the door. I opened the door for her and when we walked in, I asked for her name and introduced myself with a handshake and a smile. We walked and she started talking to me a little about campus. She asked me if I was a staff member (i'm a student, early 20's). Anyway, she was receptive and nice and I could tell she was interested in me.

 

I walked her to her room (she was studying extra on a Saturday for her PhD)and then told her I needed to find a room in her building. She walked with me and lead me to it. After this, I walked her back to her room and on the way back I asked her if I could take her out sometimes, the Fair (lots of rides, games, foods) is in or the movies. She said yes. I asked her for her e-mail, it would be better right now and she said yeah e-mail but she is really busy lately. I said in a casual way, that's fine, when we're free, I can take her out in the future. She asked me for something to write on and I digged in my pocket and all I had was a wad of cash as I looked down at my hands, she laughed and said 'All you have is money!' and she said she has something so she went in and gave me a yellow sticky-note. I told her to just write on this 20 dollar bill and she said she has paper in the room so we walked a little further.

 

She didn't just write her email, she wrote her building number, her full name, her nickname next to it, her cell phone number, and her e-mail.

 

Anyway, I looked at it and smiled and then looked at her and said I had to be going, put my hand out so she would place her hand in mine and I bent down slowly and kissed her hand. She smiled and giggled and we turned around and I left.

 

How long should I wait to call her? I was planning to call tomorrow, so I would wait 1 full day... but I am not sure if that's too short. I want to go out tomorrow Sunday with her to the Fair, take advantage of the weekend, but it's too soon maybe? I don't know, am I supposed to wait 1 day, 2 days, 3 days, a week? I mean, I do think she likes me, so maybe calling tomorrow isn't so bad

Edited March 30, 2008 by Frieda

[BlueHaiku]

You'll probably get a LOT of different opinions on this, but I'd say call her the next day and ask her out for Sunday. If she's interested, she'll say yes - unless she's truly busy.

[carhill]

I think the Fair would be a cool date. Call her now; tell her you just remembered you were going to the Fair tomorrow and would love for her to join you

 

Then bag her a bear or something there, show-off

[btc8]

I would wait a few days to call, like maybe call her on a Tuesday. If you do that you can ask her about how her weekend went, how week has been so far, what she has planned, etc. Also, you can bring up subtly, "What are you doing this weekend?" You could easily make a date that weekend with her, and that would be the best, in my opinion, as it would give her enough of a heads up to go out versus calling her and asking her out the next day.

 

Just a few thoughts...

[FormerNiceGuy]

Forget about waiting 7 days to call. Forget about waiting 5 days, forget about 3 days, forget about 1 day. So when do you call?

 

When you want and when you have time.

 

If a girl is interested in you, she will not lose interest if you call her the next day, the day after, or a few days later.

 

But I've found that the longer you wait past a few days, that's when her interest starts dropping. Why? Because "out of sight, out of mind."

 

Now, if you're unable to call because you sincerely are busy, then that's understandable. But don't play those foolish games of waiting so many days before calling.

[Trialbyfire]

Forget about waiting 7 days to call. Forget about waiting 5 days, forget about 3 days, forget about 1 day. So when do you call?

 

When you want and when you have time.

 

If a girl is interested in you, she will not lose interest if you call her the next day, the day after, or a few days later.

 

But I've found that the longer you wait past a few days, that's when her interest starts dropping. Why? Because "out of sight, out of mind."

 

Now, if you're unable to call because you sincerely are busy, then that's understandable. But don't play those foolish games of waiting so many days before calling.

I totally agree with this, especially the bolded text.

[TheFonz]

Wow I can't believe me and TBF agree. Contacting her the next day is fine.

[Frieda]

well, I decided to wait until today Thursday to call her. I called once in the afternoon and she didn't pick up her cell. So then I e-mailed her just now, nice casual e-mail asking her how she is and etc. I've been busy but I called her and nobody picked up so now I write her a special little e-mail for her, etc.. I finished up by asking her to the Fair this weekend if she isn't busy. ASked her to let me know so we can make final plans.

 

How was that? good? I'm not too good at this.

 

I'm hoping to get laid the same day, after the fair what are my chances? is that a common thing? again, I'm not experienced.

[I am who I am]

Well, you asked her to the fair. Now you have to wait for her to respond.

 

Do NOT make contact with her again, until she responds.

 

And why do you think your not good at "this". You had the confidence to approach her, you used light and playful kino, and you got her number.

 

You are ahead of 95% of other men out there. Keep your inner-confidence up.

 

I'm hoping to get laid the same day, after the fair what are my chances? is that a common thing? again, I'm not experienced.

Slow down tiger. Consider it a success if you can get a kiss. You can try to escalate it from there, but... Edited April 3, 2008 by I am who I am

[Frieda]

ok, she replied to my e-mail

 

she said

 

1 - it was nice to hear from me

2 - she is not so busy this weekend

3 - she would like to go on saturday morning, but she doesn't have a car right now (i was planning to pick her up anyway? car or no car)

4 - she has to go to Church at 6pm Saturday

5 - she added "Maybe someone will give me a ride"

6 - ended it, 'anyway, good luck!' best regards, -------

 

 

 

 

so it looks like i won't be getting laid saturday. however i do have half of the entire day to take her, but i wanted to go at night cause it's more fun with the lights of the rides and the cold breeze (arms around her hehe)

 

this throws a monkey wrench but at least i got a date

Edited April 4, 2008 by Frieda

[soulseeker]

I'm really not trying to throw a wrench into your plans, but are you sure you want to do this? You seemed so torn in your other thread.

[Frieda]

no i dont want to do it, but if i think it over again, i'm not going to do it.

 

then later i will regret it again. i just really really need to get rid of the physical urge, it's a biological/psychological libido thing and i won't do it more than once. just get it out of my system.

 

eh, i am sure if i think about it more, i'm going to talk myself out of it and remain faithful to my love. so the plan is to just do it

[I am who I am]

Grats on the date Saturday! I love daytime dates.

 

Scrap the plans for the fair. Hit up a park, or better yet, a bookstore (since you are limited by time, ie. 6 pm). Large bookstores generally have a coffee shop as well... so by the time you are done learning more about her, you can sit down and learn even more.

 

My favorite thing about a "bookstore date", when you first walk in, ask her... "If you here here alone, which section/topics/area would you go to first?" Now you have something to talk about that will make her comfortable. She will, at some point, ask the same question to you.... DO NOT walk over to SCI-FI !! go hit up the travel section...... more to talk about!

 

With all this said. PLEASE... walk up to one other woman tomorrow (Friday) and just say "Hi". I have yet to read your other posts (and I probably won't), but you seem to be the type that will invest all your energy into this one girl. This is not healthy... well, at this point. If you are into her after the date... Great!

 

Have a second date already in mind. What I mean is, when you say goodbye cause shes heading off to church, ask her for the second date.... BUT HAVE A PLAN! "Hey, this Wednesday I was gonna go out and listen to this band... would you like to join me?" Whatever "you are doing" is, make the second date planned before you leave her side.

 

While you didn't C+P the email, she did respond with what seems to be a mid to high level of interest in you! Remember how you used kino when you first met her? (kissing her hand)... Well, don't be afraid to lightly touch her again (no groping... durrr), it helps to escalate and communicate your desires.

 

Most importantly.... go out and have fun!

Edited April 4, 2008 by I am who I am

[I am who I am]

Oh... and please detail your car before you pick her up! If you can't afford to have others do it for you, do it yourself.

 

A clean car is Muy Importante!!