Nevermind Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 If a guy flirts with me and then goes off to flirt with another women, then the flirt with me has officially ended.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I agree with you FormerNiceGuy. Make a move early before the girl has a chance to place you in the dreaded "friends zone". It sucks to be denied, but it is even worse to be stuck in the friends zone by a woman you like. Exactly, my good man. It's better to get shot down then to get played like a puppet.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Yeah, kind of. But it leaves no doubt. Kind of? Leaves no doubt but then you have no woman...see where I'm going with that? What good is knowing you could have had her if she got so pissed off she leaves? I'd re-think that little strategy. Because if that happened to me, I'd dump the guy for being that stupid whether I liked him initially or not.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 If a guy flirts with me and then goes off to flirt with another women, then the flirt with me has officially ended. You see...I would only do this if the girl is being very, very, very confusing and ambiguous and I'm not sure. It has never failed me...it's a bit unethical but it clears all doubts. But i rarely do this. If a girl does relay something to me that lets me know that she's interested, I don't even bother doing this. It's only on a girl that acts so "hard to get" and doesn't show much...and it's not my fault..that as a guy I have no idea whether she likes me or not...
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 (edited) Kind of? Leaves no doubt but then you have no woman...see where I'm going with that? What good is knowing you could have had her if she got so pissed off she leaves? I'd re-think that little strategy. Because if that happened to me, I'd dump the guy for being that stupid whether I liked him initially or not. If you're with a girl and she gives you NO tells..how is a guy supposed to know? Is it wrong for him to assume..."Oh well, she's probably not interested." then at that point is it wrong for a guy to say, "Well, she's probably not interested" and to move on? In other words, it's not the guy's fault that the woman was so cryptic. If she didn't relay her interest, then a guy is naturally inclined to move on.. Again..I only use this when I'm not sure. But overall..the easiest and most effective way is to just make a damn move. Edited March 30, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy
Nevermind Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I see you point, but if I were you I'd reconsider it. If a girl is giving you a hard time, but you really like her, then don't use this strategy. She might be very shy or not aware of sending mixed signals, but she most likely think you're a jerk who was leading her on. Even if she likes you strongly and shows jealousy, you're not in a good place. Because you were going after another girl. Never a good thing. Simply, but sweetly, say that you feel as if you're getting on her nerves and excuse yourself. The classy act. A girl who likes you will protest and you can work something out with that. If she doesn't she'll agree and off you go.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 If you're with a girl and she gives you NO tells..how is a guy supposed to know? Is it wrong for him to assume..."Oh well, she's probably not interested." then at that point is it wrong for a guy to say, "Well, she's probably not interested" and to move on? In other words, it's not the guy's fault that the woman was so cryptic. If she didn't relay her interest, then a guy is naturally inclined to move on.. Again..I only use this when I'm not sure. But overall..the easiest and most effective way is to just make a damn move. If she's given you NO sign whatsoever then, you can safely assume she's not interested. But see I don't know how long you're talking about. But even after one date, most women will either show some kind of interest or no interest at all. You should know pretty quickly if a woman is interested in something beyond just friendship. You just have to know what to look for.
carhill Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Something I've noted with female friends is that they're very strong-willed (which I'm hearing a lot of in this thread) when their emotions aren't engaged. But get the right fella in front of them and all that stuff goes right out the window. It's just amazing to watch; like a switch being thrown. If I've ever had that effect on anyone, I'm completely unaware of it. So, I think, the LS'ers who advocate engaging a woman's emotions have good standing. The trick is not to lose sight of one's core sensibilities when pursuing such an end. I've even had some (former) friends who'd beat up on me emotionally, then lay down in front of some of those types of men often derided here. I mean, they seemed completely sane when I got to know them as a friend, anyway
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 (edited) I see you point, but if I were you I'd reconsider it. If a girl is giving you a hard time, but you really like her, then don't use this strategy. She might be very shy or not aware of sending mixed signals, but she most likely think you're a jerk who was leading her on. Even if she likes you strongly and shows jealousy, you're not in a good place. Because you were going after another girl. Never a good thing. Simply, but sweetly, say that you feel as if you're getting on her nerves and excuse yourself. The classy act. A girl who likes you will protest and you can work something out with that. If she doesn't she'll agree and off you go. Oh yeah definitely. You've got to talk to her in private after that...and just tell her that you sincerely didn't know..etc and from here on out. at least now you know that you're not just one of her "girlfriends." And I wouldn't worry too much about "losing" a girl by doing this because I haven't lost a girl doing this... you just have to let her sincerely know that you didn't know what was up.. Edited March 30, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Kind of? Leaves no doubt but then you have no woman...see where I'm going with that? What good is knowing you could have had her if she got so pissed off she leaves? I'd re-think that little strategy. Because if that happened to me, I'd dump the guy for being that stupid whether I liked him initially or not. You bet baby! One walk away leads to another.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 You bet baby! One walk away leads to another. Look it's as simple as this. You just need to make a move. Stop overanalyzing. Stop hypothesizing. Just make a move. In other words, put her in a position where you are no longer just one of her "girlfriends." She either has to say..NO I'm not interested. or Ok, I'm interested. In other words, make a move. That is the complete answer to this entire thread.
Nevermind Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 And I wouldn't worry too much about "losing" a girl by doing this because I haven't lost a girl doing this... you just have to let her sincerely know that you didn't know what was up.. But that's a white lie. You made her deliberately uncormfortable. Well, whatever works for you. I just wonder... Why is there alway the need to play games? Both men and women always make pretend, lie, play games and it never helps, it only makes it more uncomfortable. I have insecurities to boot, but never ever resort to playing games when it comes to love. Because it just isn't worth it.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 But that's a white lie. You made her deliberately uncormfortable. Well, whatever works for you. I just wonder... Why is there alway the need to play games? Both men and women always make pretend, lie, play games and it never helps, it only makes it more uncomfortable. I have insecurities to boot, but never ever resort to playing games when it comes to love. Because it just isn't worth it. Again, it's not right. and I don't do it. But I've done it before when I wasn't sure. There are times....albeit rare..when just approaching a girl and laying down your cards..isn't the smartest thing to do at that particular time. and in those situations...I resort to plan B. Yes, it's a game. But women play mindgames too.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Women don't play mindgames...girls do. And you can choose to not be with silly little girls who play those games. You're starting to sound like those clowns on that sostupid site. I hope you're not buying into that nonsense. I mean they're little "techniques" must not work very well since they all seem to be sex-starved. I've even heard through the grapevine that they're over there drooling over my pictures! How sad is that? They wouldn't know what to do with a woman like me. Anyway, yeah don't buy into that ok? The direct approach IS best if you're dealing with someone who is not a bimbo game-player. You were on the right track with that.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 (edited) Women don't play mindgames...girls do. And you can choose to not be with silly little girls who play those games. You're starting to sound like those clowns on that sostupid site. I hope you're not buying into that nonsense. I mean they're little "techniques" must not work very well since they all seem to be sex-starved. I've even heard through the grapevine that they're over there drooling over my pictures! How sad is that? They wouldn't know what to do with a woman like me. Anyway, yeah don't buy into that ok? The direct approach IS best if you're dealing with someone who is not a bimbo game-player. You were on the right track with that. But isn't it ironic that since most men are only attracted to what they see, they choose to go for "girls" and not "women." Edited March 30, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Anyways, I really don't believe in mindgames as it makes things too complicated. I just make sure that when I'm with a girl that she puts as much into the relationship as I do for her. In other words, I always to think to myself, "Is she putting as much into the relationship as I do for her?" Most problems in relationships these days occur because either the girl or guy is putting too much into the relationship while the other person is not.. You've found the perfect girl when you find a girl who likes you just as much as you like her...
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 But isn't it ironic that since most men are only attracted to what they see, they choose to go for "girls" and not "women." Wanna' bet?
DanielMadr Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 between a woman playing hard to get, actually being hard to get, and not intersted in sexual/romance relations? From reading on here and from my massive experience, I know that women often times play hard to get. Even with all my experience and success with women, I still sometimes question which of the 3 it is I'm dealing with in a particular woman. But from reading on here for awhile I'm seeing that playing hard to get is so common, so now I'm starting to wonder maybe even more women were interested in me (maybe all?) than I thought. It just seems like if women would stop playing hard to get, it would eliminate all the confusion and problems that go along with that. Wishful thinking right? Why do women play hard to get anyway? What are the signs and differences for each of, playing hard to get, actually being hard to get, and not interested, so that I'll always know which one I'm dealing with? The point is you cant know. And the solution is you shouldnt care. Make a move. If she doesnt reciprocitate in a appropriet manner....move on. 9 times 10 when you dont know if she is into you...she is not. Women who are into you rarely perform this stunt. The 1 left is can be into you but not that much for her to care or she just made a stunt. Make a move and see.
Author TheFonz Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 Again, you're taking things off context again. Maybe you've been hurt in the past or some shyt has happened in your life, but the message I'm saying is to be just a generally genuine guy but let her know that you like her..and don't just be one of her girlfriends. I'm sorry but these women are just clueless or bitter, no offense. They are just not getting it, and probably never will. They think the whole dynamic comes own to men only want one thing from women, sex. So they key to everything is to play hard to get and hold back sex. So in othr words by their own logic, "Hey let's not give men anything they want until when drain him of everything we want first". And they wonder why a man might think are only only good for sex in the first place? But like you said my OP was a question about how do you tell the difference between awoman with real interest, one playing hard to get, and one not really intrested, when women so often confuse the issue with hard to get games? I liked your answer, FNG. A woman who is interested and not playing hard to get games to an extreme would accept and want a date with you and there wouldn't have to be sex on the first date, but she should do other things that show her interest and a re rewarding to a man in place of sex...unless she's still playing hard to get games. So it's not all about just sex. It's about what all a woman has to offer.
Author TheFonz Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 The point is you cant know. And the solution is you shouldnt care. Make a move. If she doesnt reciprocitate in a appropriet manner....move on. 9 times 10 when you dont know if she is into you...she is not. Women who are into you rarely perform this stunt. The 1 left is can be into you but not that much for her to care or she just made a stunt. Make a move and see. I agree but TBF and others like her claim a man should keep pursuing her for an indefinite amount of time while she continues to play hard to get as it suits her interest. She gives little reason what a guy gets out of that other than an uncertain chance of something more sometime in the future. Any guy who would do that is lame and even if he did get her what would he have? Nothing worth what he invested so much time and energy obtaining as fas as I can see.
DanielMadr Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I see you point, but if I were you I'd reconsider it. If a girl is giving you a hard time, but you really like her, then don't use this strategy. She might be very shy or not aware of sending mixed signals, but she most likely think you're a jerk who was leading her on. Thats HER problem not HIS. Man is not there to educate her on herself.
DanielMadr Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I agree but TBF and others like her claim a man should keep pursuing her for an indefinite amount of time while she continues to play hard to get as it suits her interest. She gives little reason what a guy gets out of that other than an uncertain chance of something more sometime in the future. Any guy who would do that is lame and even if he did get her what would he have? Nothing worth what he invested so much time and energy obtaining as fas as I can see. Would you marry that girl??? I dont. Am I making a mistake? Hardly think so. So, why bother? But lets not confuse "no sex right now" with playing HTG. In first instance you are very aware she likes you. In the second she is just on Women Skills Shooting Range with you.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 The point is you cant know. And the solution is you shouldnt care. Make a move. If she doesnt reciprocitate in a appropriet manner....move on. 9 times 10 when you dont know if she is into you...she is not. Women who are into you rarely perform this stunt. The 1 left is can be into you but not that much for her to care or she just made a stunt. Make a move and see. Yes! Exactly!
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 (edited) I agree but TBF and others like her claim a man should keep pursuing her for an indefinite amount of time while she continues to play hard to get as it suits her interest. She gives little reason what a guy gets out of that other than an uncertain chance of something more sometime in the future. Any guy who would do that is lame and even if he did get her what would he have? Nothing worth what he invested so much time and energy obtaining as fas as I can see. Here's the situation..and I can see both sides. TBF and Touche are basically saying, "Well, the right guy is going to wait." Whereas the opinion of the most guys are "I'm not going to waste my time on a girl who plays too hard to get." Now I hear what the girls are saying... but... If I'm putting a lot of effort into a relationship and I don't really get the feeling that the girl is putting the same amount of effort into it, then at that point, the relationship is one-sided. In other words, you never want to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you. A someone stated, "She should return the affection, in equal proportion." Because..believe it or not.. outside of this website..there are women that will give you the time of day when you are a genuinely good guy and she likes you. Edited March 31, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy
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