Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Good things come to those who wait! That's why those DJ guys are always whining about not being able to get a good woman. When they finally do, they get bimbos who fall for that crap they spew in their "Bibles" or whatever they call it. OP says he wouldn't wait even two WEEKS! Well then, you would have lost a woman like me. Wonder how many good ones you've already let go. I'm also of the "hard to get" variety...no playing here. Thankfully, my H was able to think beyond his dick and get to know me first. Trust me, he was rewarded for that in a big way! Of course, I reaped BIG rewards as well. Win-win. But good luck with your "game." Whatever works for ya! (Ooops, there goes that stupid theory about women having sex with you right away or not at all. Good luck with the bimbos!)
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Good things come to those who wait! That's why those DJ guys are always whining about not being able to get a good woman. When they finally do, they get bimbos who fall for that crap they spew in their "Bibles" or whatever they call it. OP says he wouldn't wait even two WEEKS! Well then, you would have lost a woman like me. Wonder how many good ones you've already let go. I'm also of the "hard to get" variety...no playing here. Thankfully, my H was able to think beyond his dick and get to know me first. Trust me, he was rewarded for that in a big way! Of course, I reaped BIG rewards as well. Win-win. But good luck with your "game." Whatever works for ya! (Ooops, there goes that stupid theory about women having sex with you right away or not at all. Good luck with the bimbos!) I think you missed the point of what the original poster was trying to say. He's saying that it's hard for the average guy to tell if a girl is interested in him, is just playing games with him, or really has no interest of being with him. That's his original question. And my answer to that is...just make a damn move. Because a woman won't approach you and won't tell you exactly how she feels about you unless you make a damn move. We're not talking about getting laid in 1 day, 2 months, 1 year..etc. That's besides the issue. We're talking about the games that women play and how to diffuse them. and my answer is that instead of trying to figure out whether a girl likes you or not....just make a damn move. Put her in a position where she can no longer just look at you as just a "girlfriend".
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I think you missed the point of what the original poster was trying to say. He's saying that it's hard for the average guy to tell if a girl is interested in him, is just playing games with him, or really has no interest of being with him. That's his original question. And my answer to that is...just make a damn move. Because a woman won't approach you and won't tell you exactly how she feels about you unless you make a damn move. We're not talking about getting laid in 1 day, 2 months, 1 year..etc. That's besides the issue. We're talking about the games that women play and how to diffuse them. and my answer is that instead of trying to figure out whether a girl likes you or not....just make a damn move. Put her in a position where she can no longer just look at you as just a "girlfriend". I got his original point but he brought up other issues...ones I was addressing above. As for what you say above, yes I would agree with most of that. I respect a man who is direct and to the point. Really, to address the original post, you can't tell the difference right away. Her actions/reactions will eventually tell you what you need to know but if you want guarantees right off the bat, forget about it. Ain't gonna happen.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I got his original point but he brought up other issues...ones I was addressing above. As for what you say above, yes I would agree with most of that. I respect a man who is direct and to the point. Really, to address the original post, you can't tell the difference right away. Her actions/reactions will eventually tell you what you need to know but if you want guarantees right off the bat, forget about it. Ain't gonna happen. In reality, if these guys believe they're so direct, why not walk up to the ladies and say, "Hey, I want you. Let's get jiggy, NOW!".
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 In reality, if these guys believe they're so direct, why not walk up to the ladies and say, "Hey, I want you. Let's get jiggy, NOW!". Please, they don't have the balls to do anything without consulting their "bibles" or David DeStupido or whatever his name is.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Please, they don't have the balls to do anything without consulting their "bibles" or David DeStupido or whatever his name is. I don't understand the tone of voice here. Of course you don't just go to a girl and scare her off. You need to approach a girl, but just be a gentleman. When I say approach...just let her know you're interested and be direct. Don't weasel around. Let her clearly know that you're interested in being more than just friends. I don't know what to say if you disagree with what I'm saying.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Please, they don't have the balls to do anything without consulting their "bibles" or David DeStupido or whatever his name is. Y'know, whether these guys want to admit it or not, it's a game of manipulation on their side. If they want direct responses from women, they'd better be prepared to be direct themselves. On the otherhand, there will probably be a million rejections, and one drunk bimbo who they can score with. So...overall....it remains a game because the ultimate goal for many of these guys, is to get into her pants. Beyond that, they simply don't care about anything else, so they're going to manipulate, giving the girls they hit on, the belief that if they hit the sack with them, it will create a deeper, emotional connection.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I don't understand the tone of voice here. Of course you don't just go to a girl and scare her off. You need to approach a girl, but just be a gentleman. When I say approach...just let her know you're interested and be direct. Don't weasel around. Let her clearly know that you're interested in being more than just friends. I don't know what to say if you disagree with what I'm saying. In no way was what I said directed at you. Please see my comments that were..I was agreeing with you for the most part.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Y'know, whether these guys want to admit it or not, it's a game of manipulation on their side. If they want direct responses from women, they'd better be prepared to be direct themselves. On the otherhand, there will probably be a million rejections, and one drunk bimbo who they can score with. So...overall....it remains a game because the ultimate goal for many of these guys, is to get into her pants. Beyond that, they simply don't care about anything else, so they're going to manipulate, giving the girls they hit on, the belief that if they hit the sack with them, it will create a deeper, emotional connection. Again, you're taking things off context again. Maybe you've been hurt in the past or some shyt has happened in your life, but the message I'm saying is to be just a generally genuine guy but let her know that you like her..and don't just be one of her girlfriends.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 In no way was what I said directed at you. Please see my comments that were..I was agreeing with you for the most part. Oops. My fault. I misunderstood what you were saying.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Y'know, whether these guys want to admit it or not, it's a game of manipulation on their side. If they want direct responses from women, they'd better be prepared to be direct themselves. On the otherhand, there will probably be a million rejections, and one drunk bimbo who they can score with. So...overall....it remains a game because the ultimate goal for many of these guys, is to get into her pants. Beyond that, they simply don't care about anything else, so they're going to manipulate, giving the girls they hit on, the belief that if they hit the sack with them, it will create a deeper, emotional connection. That's exactly right. But most don't even care. They want what they want and will use any devious means to get it. They admit as much. What they don't quite understand is that may work to get quantity but it will not work to get the quality they're always whining about not getting. A woman with half a brain in her head will see right through their "game." These guys, most of them, aren't too bright. Personally, I recognized them a mile away and wouldn't give them the time of day. Their false charm is just that...fake and quite obvious to the experienced eye.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Again, you're taking things off context again. Maybe you've been hurt in the past or some shyt has happened in your life, but the message I'm saying is to be just a generally genuine guy but let her know that you like her..and don't just be one of her girlfriends. There's a way to be her friend, while still letting her know you find her attractive and want a relationship with her, if that's what you want. What's creepy is the guy who hides it all, and pretends to be a friend, while wanting more. As for being hurt in the past with guys like this, no. I've yet to be invested enough in anyone, to be hurt by this type of behaviour. It's why I take my sweet time. Most of the hit and run guys can't keep up the facade for long.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 That's exactly right. But most don't even care. They want what they want and will use any devious means to get it. They admit as much. What they don't quite understand is that may work to get quantity but it will not work to get the quality they're always whining about not getting. A woman with half a brain in her head will see right through their "game." These guys, most of them, aren't too bright. Personally, I recognized them a mile away and wouldn't give them the time of day. Their false charm is just that...fake and quite obvious to the experienced eye. See, that's just it. What they deem as quality, is the superficial hawtness factor, of a woman. A quality woman has way more depth than that, although she can easily have hawtness factor, as well. Case in point, yourself.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 That's exactly right. But most don't even care. They want what they want and will use any devious means to get it. They admit as much. What they don't quite understand is that may work to get quantity but it will not work to get the quality they're always whining about not getting. A woman with half a brain in her head will see right through their "game." These guys, most of them, aren't too bright. Personally, I recognized them a mile away and wouldn't give them the time of day. Their false charm is just that...fake and quite obvious to the experienced eye. No. It's because the guys that utilize these tactics are acting and becoming something that they aren't. When you act and become something that you aren't...it's unnatural. In other words, there is nothing wrong with making a move and approaching a woman..because she won't make a move goddammit! You have to lead... But the key is just to be yourself..and not just "yourself" but your best self. Because if a girl doesn't like you for who you are, then she wasn't meant for you. There's players. There's jerks. There's "nice guys" that act "nice". And there's the genuinely good man. On the same token...for you women...don't play games with a genuinely good guy just because you think he's a player or whatever you think he is...
justpassingthrough Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Y'know, whether these guys want to admit it or not, it's a game of manipulation on their side. While I believe you're right, TBF, I also believe it's very much a game both sides play. I don't know how it works because I've never done it (games don't belong in relationships, even in the earliest stages). However I've seen it. And, again in my opinion, the relationships that start with the hard-to-get game tend to end up in the pile of relationships that are disasters because there's really no cue as to when the game should stop. They move from "I don't want him/her to think I'm available," to "I don't want him/her to think I'm looking for a relationship," to "I don't want him/her to think I'm pressuring for an engagement," all the way to "I don't want him/her to think I'm a slut because I'm not happy in the bedroom." It's a series of trying to figure out what they don't want the other person to think of them instead of sending clear messages, with clear communication, about who they are and what they really want in life and from a partner. It's a game nobody wins.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 See, that's just it. What they deem as quality, is the superficial hawtness factor, of a woman. A quality woman has way more depth than that, although she can easily have hawtness factor, as well. Case in point, yourself. Awww, thanks TBF:love: But you know, bottom line is that for many, that's all they want. And that's fine. I have no problem with that as long as they stop their sniveling about what superficial bytches they are. Hey, you picked'em. Why don't you just shut the eff up and keep effing her! I hope they're reading this and they're learning something because they ain't gonna get the real truth on that circle jerk of a forum.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 While I believe you're right, TBF, I also believe it's very much a game both sides play. I don't know how it works because I've never done it (games don't belong in relationships, even in the earliest stages). However I've seen it. And, again in my opinion, the relationships that start with the hard-to-get game tend to end up in the pile of relationships that are disasters because there's really no cue as to when the game should stop. They move from "I don't want him/her to think I'm available," to "I don't want him/her to think I'm looking for a relationship," to "I don't want him/her to think I'm pressuring for an engagement," all the way to "I don't want him/her to think I'm a slut because I'm not happy in the bedroom." It's a series of trying to figure out what they don't want the other person to think of them instead of sending clear messages, with clear communication, about who they are and what they really want in life and from a partner. It's a game nobody wins. I won't disagree it's a game played by both sides, although there are women, like myself, who aren't playing a game. We're wired in the way that makes it impossible for us to sleep with anyone when both parties aren't fully invested. It's got to do with love, trust and respect, meshed into one, to create high-drive desire. As for gaming relationships crashing and burning, I won't disagree, unless both parties drop the facade, after getting to know the other person to the level of comfort they need.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 No. It's because the guys that utilize these tactics are acting and becoming something that they aren't. When you act and become something that you aren't...it's unnatural. In other words, there is nothing wrong with making a move and approaching a woman..because she won't make a move goddammit! You have to lead... But the key is just to be yourself..and not just "yourself" but your best self. Because if a girl doesn't like you for who you are, then she wasn't meant for you. There's players. There's jerks. There's "nice guys" that act "nice". And there's the genuinely good man. On the same token...for you women...don't play games with a genuinely good guy just because you think he's a player or whatever you think he is... Ok, here you've not said one single thing I disagree with. And women are as bad as men are with the game-playing..no doubt about it. Everybody loses. The way I felt, when I was dating, is I'm not going to play games but I'm also not going to be part of anyone else's game. I reserved my time for those who were like-minded. And it worked. Sure I had to weed through a lot of crap, all the riff raff and all - because most of the men were game-players - but it didn't matter since I was after quality not quantity. I would think that the guys who only want pvussy would have it the easiest. I mean if that's all they really want. No big challenge THERE, right? Unless your game is SOOOO bad that even the bimbos run from you!
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Awww, thanks TBF:love: But you know, bottom line is that for many, that's all they want. And that's fine. I have no problem with that as long as they stop their sniveling about what superficial bytches they are. Hey, you picked'em. Why don't you just shut the eff up and keep effing her! I hope they're reading this and they're learning something because they ain't gonna get the real truth on that circle jerk of a forum. OWN IT!!
Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 between a woman playing hard to get, actually being hard to get, and not intersted in sexual/romance relations? From reading on here and from my massive experience, I know that women often times play hard to get. Even with all my experience and success with women, I still sometimes question which of the 3 it is I'm dealing with in a particular woman. But from reading on here for awhile I'm seeing that playing hard to get is so common, so now I'm starting to wonder maybe even more women were interested in me (maybe all?) than I thought. It just seems like if women would stop playing hard to get, it would eliminate all the confusion and problems that go along with that. Wishful thinking right? Why do women play hard to get anyway? What are the signs and differences for each of, playing hard to get, actually being hard to get, and not interested, so that I'll always know which one I'm dealing with? If the woman is PLAYING hard to get.. she might be very insecure with herself.. I say.. just ignore her for a while.. it won't take long before you know if she was playing hard to get or if she was actually independant and hard to get..
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 If the woman is PLAYING hard to get.. she might be very insecure with herself.. I say.. just ignore her for a while.. it won't take long before you know if she was playing hard to get or if she was actually independant and hard to get.. An unethical but quick way to find out is this... go for other women and let her see it. the women who don't care..just don't care. the women who do care...ooh man...you'll know.
Touche Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 An unethical but quick way to find out is this... go for other women and let her see it. the women who don't care..just don't care. the women who do care...ooh man...you'll know. Isn't that like cutting off your nose to spite your face?
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Isn't that like cutting off your nose to spite your face? Yeah, kind of. But it leaves no doubt.
Rowdy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I agree with you FormerNiceGuy. Make a move early before the girl has a chance to place you in the dreaded "friends zone". It sucks to be denied, but it is even worse to be stuck in the friends zone by a woman you like.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 (edited) The thing is..I'll jokingly flirt with another girl or something innocent like that....and let her see it. And I see how she reacts. It's not like I completely jump after the other girl. I just jokingly flirt with the other girl...VERY briefly..and see how the other girl acts. if she seems unphazed..then I know. if she is a bit perturbed..then I stop..and then I just focus on her. women hold a lot of things back..but not in this case. You'll know. Edited March 30, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy
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