TheSilentType Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Well I'd really like to see this kitschy advice put into practice. For the matter, I don't know many overweight nice confident guys with very attractive gfs. Nor for that matter do I know guys with other traits society looks down on as having attractive gfs - maybe run of the mill average, maybe slightly above average...but not 9s or 10s. And as far the blue-collared people who have partners....of course thats expected. I know a doctor married to a cop....but then again he is a strong tall guy and probably a nice guy. But I highly doubt she would have married him if he was just a nice guy and not also strong and tall. Nice guys can get girls, but they have to be attractive or compensate with other qualities. Its deceiving people to say that any nice guy with confidence - just niceness and confidence - can get a hot gf. The fact is, lots of confidence comes from having looks or success since that's how most people validate you in this society which in turn makes you feel good about yourself.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Wrong, a jerk is someone who is very selfish and has no self-control. He lives for himself and today and NOW! Once again, wrong. A genuinely good guy is someone who is a strong and caring person but doesn't roll over like a doormat, asking to be stepped on. He can be strongly sexual and be as much a man, as he is. Being a man isn't threatening to women. Being a prick or doormat, is repugnant. There was an entire section after those three sentences that said exactly what you just wrote.
Trialbyfire Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Did you read the rest of my post on that section? There was an entire section after those three sentences that said exactly what you just wrote. Clarify yourself in the first points properly and you wouldn't need big, long posts.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Well I'd really like to see this kitschy advice put into practice. For the matter, I don't know many overweight nice confident guys with very attractive gfs. Nor for that matter do I know guys with other traits society looks down on as having attractive gfs - maybe run of the mill average, maybe slightly above average...but not 9s or 10s. And as far the blue-collared people who have partners....of course thats expected. I know a doctor married to a cop....but then again he is a strong tall guy and probably a nice guy. But I highly doubt she would have married him if he was just a nice guy and not also strong and tall. Nice guys can get girls, but they have to be attractive or compensate with other qualities. Its deceiving people to say that any nice guy with confidence - just niceness and confidence - can get a hot gf. The fact is, lots of confidence comes from having looks or success since that's how most people validate you in this society which in turn makes you feel good about yourself. Truth or not.. the bigger question is this. What will you do about it? Will this drive you with ambition to change your life and to do everything in your power to achieve your goals? or will you be the guy who just mopes and gets bitter that you can't get what you want? This is your view of the world... What action will you take?
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Clarify yourself in the first points properly and you wouldn't need big, long posts. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just was just thinking, "Hey, I already said that."
TheSilentType Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Look this has nothing to do with me. I just dislike when people give such banal advice and forget to account for the realities of life. It reminds me of something George W. Bush once said. "I was a C student all my life, and look I became president. So even if you're a C student you too can become president" What he forget to tell you was that his dad was a well connected man who himself was president. Similarly, your advice that someone is nice and confident can get women is George Bush like statment. The fact is if they are confident then they are probably attractive (if not facially then atleast physically) or have something else going for them. Its part that you forget to speak when you say nice guys with confidence can get girls
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Look this has nothing to do with me. I just dislike when people give such banal advice and forget to account for the realities of life. It reminds me of something George W. Bush once said. "I was a C student all my life, and look I became president. So even if you're a C student you too can become president" What he forget to tell you was that his dad was a well connected man who himself was president. Similarly, your advice that someone is nice and confident can get women is George Bush like statment. The fact is if they are confident then they are probably attractive (if not facially then atleast physically) or have something else going for them. Its part that you forget to speak when you say nice guys with confidence can get girls What is your definition of confidence?
TheFonz Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 You're preaching to the choir. Of course it takes more than this! But I'm just trying to talk about the difference between the: Nice guy Jerk and the GENUINELY GOOD GUY. If you choose to excel in all things in life, you will get the girl of your dreams. Don't focus on getting a girl at first but FOCUS ON improving your own life. THE KEY TO WOMEN IS THIS: All you need to do is focus on succeeding in life. Forget about the women for now. Just focus on yourself. Because when you improve your life and focus on yourself, the women will come. That’s all you need to do. Just do the best that you can in life. And while you're at it improve upon the things that attract women.... Women love Confidence Women love Maturity Women love Charisma and charm. Women want a guy who doesn't give a damn about rejection. Women love a good listener...but know when to have respect for your own time. Women love a guy who's interesting to talk to. Too many guys here ask, "How do I talk to her" when they should ask, "How do I talk to regular people?" Most of these pickup lines and other tactics to get women are lame! All you need to do is talk to her as if she knows you and that you know her. Hang out with outgoing people and you'll eventually learn from them. You know this saying below, right? "Tell me who you walk with and I will tell who you are." You learn from the 5 people you spend the most time with...whether or not you want to. Choose the right people! Make those 5 people bring you up and not bring you down! Hang out with the guys who succeed with women and you'll find that their attributes will rub off you. Needlessness. ( a girl will never admit it)....but you can't follow her like a silly puppy. You have to focus on your own dreams and ambitions. "Needing" a girl is needy and you won't get any girl by being needy. If you look at most guys who are successful with women or in strong relationships you'll notice they have other passions in their lives and to them sex and love isn't really a huge deal. Women love a guy who's understanding. You need to understand women. Women want a guy who makes a move! In a survey with over 100 women, most of the women have said that they would like the guy to touch them playfully sometime within their relationship. But many women said they felt NO ATTRACTION to a man who did not initiate touch. You must have an interesting personality. In order to interest other people, you have to be interesting. Women admire a guy with AMBITION AND POWER. And financial security. Despite what any woman tells you..you MUST be financially secure. Who's she going to choose? That bum on the corner or that guy who has the means to protect and provide? Women love charm...but alas...charm cannot be taught. Courage. I'm depressed when I see these posts by guys here saying, "What do I say to her?" “Does that mean she likes me?” “What does this mean?” Just have COURAGE and approach. Stop hypothesizing. Stop analyzing. Just muster some courage, for she is human. Women also want good looks. But work with what you got..and don't bicker over what God didn't give you. Be the best with what you have. Women admire a guy with self-respect. Self-explanatory. Be a nice guy with balls. Be a good guy..but have some damn self-respect. Loyalty...a woman wants a guy who's loyal and honest...this should arguably be at the top of the list. Women want a guy with a sense of humor....a woman wants a guy who's funny as hell...AH! But let me tell you something...If you weren't funny to begin with, don't bother trying..because humor is INNATE. In other words, if you weren't normally funny to begin with, it will just come out fake. Most guys who are funny..if you've known them a while, you'll realize that they were always funny. Being funny is a talent and not a skill. You either got it or you don't. Romance and Sexuality. Self-explanatory. Add some spice into the relationship. Women like to be swept off their feet. Show them that you love them…. Women love a guy who’s secure. What do I mean by this? Stop bragging. Stop buying things to make people think you're something that you're not. Stop being jealous of what's going on with your girl. Stop basing your life on the opinions of others. Just be the best guy that you can be and if people don't like it..then ignore them because that's their opinion. In other words, don't let the opinions of others sway your life. Bah, I would write a bit more, but I think you get the point. That's a long list of things to haveto have just to give a woman the best night of her life. Isn't my handsome looks and my ahem other thing alone enough? I kid. I have an even longer list of things girls must meet for a relationship, so it's all good. Good post btw.
Woggle Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Being a jerk will get you laid but will never get you love because the type of women who love jerks never truly love a man. It's all about the emotional rush they get from it but has little to do with love.
lino Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 From what I've learned with my experience the most important thing is to just not listening to what women say they want anymore because what they say they want & what the actually need are rarely the same. Most times they don't know what they want. I've learned that it's best to figure things out by just looking around you & seeing how things happen with others. It's sad but with enough failures I learned that they just can't appreciate being treated well. I'm talking about girls in my age range BTW (early - late 20s)
GoodOnPaper Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 . . . Women who are attracted to the men who act like a jerk, don't usually stick with those men . . . I've heard a lot of women put forth this argument. Although it's well-meaning, unfortunately, it is of NO consolation to the "nice guys" because to them (us), the sex experience this "jerk" is getting counts for a lot. It doesn't matter if it's through short-lived relationships. As has been pointed out, accepting that it is OK to want and pursue sex in all it's mutually-consented wild and crazy varieties is key for the "nice guy" to start to turn things around. Deep down, I think most (if not all) "nice guys" want to do this -- that doesn't always make it easy, though.
underpants Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Sorry about that. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just was just thinking, "Hey, I already said that." For what it is worth. Some people respond to aptly put, succinct definitions, while others respond to things broken down into smaller thought out portions. Both approaches are beneficial to the whole. Also the whole area of money getting you 'hot' chicks. While that maybe true on some level. I would be wary of the 'type' of woman that would consider that to be a primary motivation for entering a relationship with someone. I guess the saying that 'you get what you pay for' springs to mind. Just be discerning and don't advertise your wealth/status all around like man boobs or something. Read Direct's response. I do remember my 20s and it seemed it is a time for figuring out who we all are (men and women). That has to add to the confusion and higher relationship failures. It is a process. However, once the guys (and the girls) find their genuine core character then discerning a good partner is much easier and alot more fun. It does start with you (general you).
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 From what I've learned with my experience the most important thing is to just not listening to what women say they want anymore because what they say they want & what the actually need are rarely the same. Most times they don't know what they want. I've learned that it's best to figure things out by just looking around you & seeing how things happen with others. It's sad but with enough failures I learned that they just can't appreciate being treated well. I'm talking about girls in my age range BTW (early - late 20s) That's because a woman can tell you what she likes in a man, but she can't teach you how to do it. Let's be FRANK. Think of the advice you get from your mom. She means well..she taught you how to be a good guy...but there is one very important thing missing in her advice..and all of the advice that you get women. They'll often tell you to just lay all of your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel", "Be a nice guy" and "don't sleep with her right away" This advice will get your more girl friends, but no bedmates. You're not making a lover, you're making a friend. A woman can't teach you that instinct that separates you from a woman..what makes you a man... sexuality. In other words, be a good guy. Be confident. But don't be dikless. Show her that you want her. Sweep her off her feet.
DanielMadr Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 You're preaching to the choir. Of course it takes more than this! But I'm just trying to talk about the difference between the: Nice guy Jerk and the GENUINELY GOOD GUY. If you choose to excel in all things in life, you will get the girl of your dreams. Don't focus on getting a girl at first but FOCUS ON improving your own life. THE KEY TO WOMEN IS THIS: All you need to do is focus on succeeding in life. Forget about the women for now. Just focus on yourself. Because when you improve your life and focus on yourself, the women will come. That’s all you need to do. Just do the best that you can in life. And while you're at it improve upon the things that attract women.... Women love Confidence Women love Maturity Women love Charisma and charm. Women want a guy who doesn't give a damn about rejection. Women love a good listener...but know when to have respect for your own time. Women love a guy who's interesting to talk to. Too many guys here ask, "How do I talk to her" when they should ask, "How do I talk to regular people?" Most of these pickup lines and other tactics to get women are lame! All you need to do is talk to her as if she knows you and that you know her. Hang out with outgoing people and you'll eventually learn from them. You know this saying below, right? "Tell me who you walk with and I will tell who you are." You learn from the 5 people you spend the most time with...whether or not you want to. Choose the right people! Make those 5 people bring you up and not bring you down! Hang out with the guys who succeed with women and you'll find that their attributes will rub off you. Needlessness. ( a girl will never admit it)....but you can't follow her like a silly puppy. You have to focus on your own dreams and ambitions. "Needing" a girl is needy and you won't get any girl by being needy. If you look at most guys who are successful with women or in strong relationships you'll notice they have other passions in their lives and to them sex and love isn't really a huge deal. Women love a guy who's understanding. You need to understand women. Women want a guy who makes a move! In a survey with over 100 women, most of the women have said that they would like the guy to touch them playfully sometime within their relationship. But many women said they felt NO ATTRACTION to a man who did not initiate touch. You must have an interesting personality. In order to interest other people, you have to be interesting. Women admire a guy with AMBITION AND POWER. And financial security. Despite what any woman tells you..you MUST be financially secure. Who's she going to choose? That bum on the corner or that guy who has the means to protect and provide? Women love charm...but alas...charm cannot be taught. Courage. I'm depressed when I see these posts by guys here saying, "What do I say to her?" “Does that mean she likes me?” “What does this mean?” Just have COURAGE and approach. Stop hypothesizing. Stop analyzing. Just muster some courage, for she is human. Women also want good looks. But work with what you got..and don't bicker over what God didn't give you. Be the best with what you have. Women admire a guy with self-respect. Self-explanatory. Be a nice guy with balls. Be a good guy..but have some damn self-respect. Loyalty...a woman wants a guy who's loyal and honest...this should arguably be at the top of the list. Women want a guy with a sense of humor....a woman wants a guy who's funny as hell...AH! But let me tell you something...If you weren't funny to begin with, don't bother trying..because humor is INNATE. In other words, if you weren't normally funny to begin with, it will just come out fake. Most guys who are funny..if you've known them a while, you'll realize that they were always funny. Being funny is a talent and not a skill. You either got it or you don't. Romance and Sexuality. Self-explanatory. Add some spice into the relationship. Women like to be swept off their feet. Show them that you love them…. Women love a guy who’s secure. What do I mean by this? Stop bragging. Stop buying things to make people think you're something that you're not. Stop being jealous of what's going on with your girl. Stop basing your life on the opinions of others. Just be the best guy that you can be and if people don't like it..then ignore them because that's their opinion. In other words, don't let the opinions of others sway your life. Bah, I would write a bit more, but I think you get the point. All true But the problem is, that the GOOD MAN is not easily recognized. It takes time for a girl to see the CONFIDENCE sign. When you want to press the right buttons instantly in a girl you see for a first time, you have to shift a little on the Jerk side. And I hope some of these lists of desirable qualities will be invented for girls too. I think that female-jerks or Too Nice Girls is quite a lot for my liking.
Author dreamergrl Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 The "Nice Guy" doesn't have to stop being nice and become a total pr*ck to succeed. He just has to learn to put himself first, not feel guilty about saying no, and live for himself...and do that while not stomping on every person he comes in contact with in the process. No woman ever left a man or found a man unattractive because he was "nice". She leaves and isn't attracted to a guy that act likes a woman. A nice guy would be miles ahead of the jerks if he just grew some balls and stopped being so needy. The first part I agree with... The second part however... Being a doormat, easily pushed around, ect ect does not qualify as acting like a woman. Also I'd like to add (and this doesn't have to do with the response to the quoted post) is that if guys are wanting to resort to becoming a jerk just to pursue sex - they should not be crying about getting cheated on, screwed over, ect ect. Grant it sex is part of a relationship - but you wont have a lasting relationship by changing into a pr*ck. You'll have a short lived relationship - but you'll be left again for being a pr*ck. You have to find a good balance.
Mary3 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 This is what I see in the hotel lobby and valets : ( Remember, I am reporting to you what I have actually seen and am not stereotyping or labeling anyone , ok ) Beautiful ,20 something gorgeous hot girl, slips into an expensive car with an older successful handsome male . ( he's about 40 ) Beautiful 20 something gorgeous hot girl slips into a big expensive sedan with a much older overweight rich looking much older man ( he's about 50 ) Average to plain looking overweight female steps into car with overweight male , car is pretty new , near $ 20,000 range , kinda of sporty looking car, guy makes 50 to 75 G's a year , Engineering . Skinny awkward young male gets in his beater car and his girl is average looking . Obese male gets into his SUV and his partner is equally obese, Their SUV is in the 20 G range. Goth looking guy is walking with goth looking girl , just finishing a metal concert and they have no car , they walk. Thats some of what I have observed. Rarely do I see a beautiful women walking with a fat , sloppy man who likely might work at BKing. Now for this : Damaged men will continually attract women that will continue to cheat on them unless they get a tremendous amount of help and continue posting on here about how they rarely get sex , how she spends all his money and how he allows himself to act like a doormat. It is a vicious cycle. Therapy is the only answer besides growing some new balls. An emotionally damaged man unlikely has the assets and secure confidant nature to attract an emotionally sound good women. He may get lucky but he is used to be used . Saying fake lines to get her , doing all he does to make her think hes * got it going on * will always be a farce. Love and confidance for yourself along with self respect can never be faked. Quit reading the Don Juan Books and get some help if you have a repeated pattern of women draining your bank accounts , disrespecting you , cheating on you. No Book will help you. She smells that you are a target . She picks up on your loneliness and uses that as your way to keep her happy with nice gifts ( like the previous poster said with way over priced expensive purses ) For those who seek the cash and are consumed by the cash , they are going to go after the cash , they are the GD's . Keep your cash , protect it , dont use it as a lure , get her nice small things when things are going well but never let her be with you because you have a expensive net worth.
Walk Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 (edited) I've found that really hot women tend to place more focus on others looks because their life has revolved around their looks. Its a mind set that's developed after continually being praised for what you look like, rather then intrinsic traits (witty, thoughtful, sincere, etc). I had noticed it a great deal growing up with two cousins who are currently models. From the time we were 8 or 10, my cousin would have people comment continually on how pretty she was. It didn't matter that she was incredibly smart, or really funny. The majority of validation was focused on her looks. She was valued based on her outward appearance, and not for the type of person she was. I think that type of continual praise regarding outward appearance tends to warp a persons view of the world. They judge others based on appearance too. They value appearances more then other things in life. I think this is why incredibly good looking women tend to be attracted to material things that can be shown off to others as proof of capabilities. They value the fancy car the same way they value the hot guy. Its outwardly easy to identify that it took a great deal of money to purchase it. Which would lead others ot believe that the person who is in it is a valuable person. Heck, the examples given about the women in the post above said basically the same thing. Women who have been conditioned to value appearances, will value that in others. Women who haven't been conditioned that way, will seek less obvious traits that are valuable to them. Edited March 31, 2008 by Walk
lino Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I've found that really hot women tend to place more focus on others looks because their life has revolved around their looks. Its a mind set that's developed after continually being praised for what you look like, rather then intrinsic traits (witty, thoughtful, sincere, etc). I had noticed it a great deal growing up with two cousins who are currently models. From the time we were 8 or 10, my cousin would have people comment continually on how pretty she was. It didn't matter that she was incredibly smart, or really funny. The majority of validation was focused on her looks. She was valued based on her outward appearance, and not for the type of person she was. I think that type of continual praise regarding outward appearance tends to warp a persons view of the world. They judge others based on appearance too. They value appearances more then other things in life. I think this is why incredibly good looking women tend to be attracted to material things that can be shown off to others as proof of capabilities. They value the fancy car the same way they value the hot guy. Its outwardly easy to identify that it took a great deal of money to purchase it. Which would lead others ot believe that the person who is in it is a valuable person. Heck, the examples given about the women in the post above said basically the same thing. Women who have been conditioned to value appearances, will value that in others. Women who haven't been conditioned that way, will seek less obvious traits that are valuable to them. I can agree with this. This sort of thing has happened to me too. Not that I'm model material or anything but the only thing I've ever been complemented on in my entire life is my appearance. It's happened quite often & I do appreciate it. Yes I guess I could say that I also am more superficial than most when it comes to a girls appearance but I'm also much more honest about it than most are. I never lead any girls on that I don't think are attractive. I also feel I can be this way because I put a lot of work into my appearance so I think I can expect someone who is the same! Of course I've been called nice, caring, a real catch, wonderful, even perfect a couple of times!! I don't really consider those to be compliments anymore rather just an easy & slightly more polite way for a woman to say thanks but you're not good enough for me I've never been called funny, charming or witty & I don't doubt that it's because I'm neither of those things but I'm also not a completely stiff & boring statue!! The gold diggers/materialistic types aren't my concern because I never deal with them & I can spot them easily & they don't go for me anyway. However the girls who go for the bad guys are pretty much the only ones who are continually attracted to me & it's always been the case & is still happening now. I'm probably also different to most of the nice guys who complain about whats happening to them because I don't have any problems getting laid, it's keeping a girl that I have problems with & that's due to the fact that once they realize I'm not a f*ckwit they leave me for someone who is!! However since my last ex dumped me last june I've stopped being so nice & it has actually worked for me to an extent. I've now been seeing a girl for 6 months & even though I view it as pretty much a FWB situation she sees it as more & I don't really care to be honest. I hardly ever initiate things with her. I've never called her beautiful even though I think she is or really given her any sort of compliment & I've never bought her any gifts or flowers. She still sticks around though & puts virtually all the effort into what we have going. It pretty much confirms it for me that if I'd been with her how I was with other girls in the past she would have been gone after 2 months for sure. From both my experience & seeing what's happening around me I can genuinely say that nice guys do finish last. Most girls simply can't appreciate something good & stable when it's given to them, they need drama even though they might say they don't! Just to be clear I'm talking about girls in my age range, mid-late 20s. The older ones I don't have experience with so I can't comment on them.
DanielMadr Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I can agree with this. This sort of thing has happened to me too. Not that I'm model material or anything but the only thing I've ever been complemented on in my entire life is my appearance. It's happened quite often & I do appreciate it. Yes it feels nice but I see it as the worst thing you can hear as a guy, instead of "your boy is so brave Mrs. Madr" or "You kick his azz pretty good, son" or "Oh, he become such a strong man". My knife certainly started to open any time I heard anything about my physical appearance other than muscles and it still makes me sick. But hey Im emotional dwarf so maybe Im wrong Girls need to hear that physical beauty thing more often and certainly doesnt want to hear about kicked azzes or how strong and manly they are, thats for sure. Walk, can you enlighten me what a girl might like to hear from her parents or older brother so she wouldnt develop some insecurities or bias about the world?
Cobra_X30 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 The first part I agree with... The second part however... Being a doormat, easily pushed around, ect ect does not qualify as acting like a woman. Also I'd like to add (and this doesn't have to do with the response to the quoted post) is that if guys are wanting to resort to becoming a jerk just to pursue sex - they should not be crying about getting cheated on, screwed over, ect ect. Grant it sex is part of a relationship - but you wont have a lasting relationship by changing into a pr*ck. You'll have a short lived relationship - but you'll be left again for being a pr*ck. You have to find a good balance. Yes... it's about balance. - and personality fit. I've found that really hot women tend to place more focus on others looks because their life has revolved around their looks. Its a mind set that's developed after continually being praised for what you look like, rather then intrinsic traits (witty, thoughtful, sincere, etc). I had noticed it a great deal growing up with two cousins who are currently models. From the time we were 8 or 10, my cousin would have people comment continually on how pretty she was. It didn't matter that she was incredibly smart, or really funny. The majority of validation was focused on her looks. She was valued based on her outward appearance, and not for the type of person she was. I think that type of continual praise regarding outward appearance tends to warp a persons view of the world. They judge others based on appearance too. They value appearances more then other things in life. I think this is why incredibly good looking women tend to be attracted to material things that can be shown off to others as proof of capabilities. They value the fancy car the same way they value the hot guy. Its outwardly easy to identify that it took a great deal of money to purchase it. Which would lead others ot believe that the person who is in it is a valuable person. Heck, the examples given about the women in the post above said basically the same thing. Women who have been conditioned to value appearances, will value that in others. Women who haven't been conditioned that way, will seek less obvious traits that are valuable to them. This is a very powerful truth. I'm at a point where I do my absolute best to sound out women who are appearance driven like this. For the most part they are extremely insecure and unhappy people, because when you are only valued... and rest your self esteem solely on your looks, your on shaky ground. It's really a sad life to live. So, for all you guys out there who want a piece of advice here, listen up. One trick with women like this is to compliment them... and generate some insecurity at the same time. Every other guy is telling them how pretty they are. Tell her how funny she is. How smart, how good at _____ she is. Chances are she will eat up the compliments, and go home wondering why you didn't tell her how attractive she is. Be bold and don't be afraid to get a little pushy. Also, don't expect long term happiness. Superficial women will suck your soul in the end... I've seen it happen to a couple guys already.
Stéphane Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Hi guys i'm new to the forums, but i'm a long time student into the seducing realm. I just have to say that FormerNiceGuy advice is spot on, and I can tell that he really took the time, and studied this stuff. Wether he tried or took the time to try his advice is questionable, but I on the other hand have tried it and I can tell you that it works. In order to engage into a relationship there are three phases of seducing. {Attraction>Comfort>Seduce} > Relationship It have nothing to do about been a nice guy or been a jerk. It have everything to do with attraction, comfort, and seducing. Jerks are better at creating attraction (because they demonstrate HV[Higher Value], and they spark interest) then nice guys. Now things that demonstrate higher value, are money, story's, don't give a f*ck attitude... All things that jerks are great at! Also girls might be attracted to you, but they won't go into a relationship with you unless their comfortable with you. It is our job as men, to create a comfortable, and favorable environnement for women. The problem is that a lot of nice guys create a lot of comfort, but they NEVER try to create attraction, and let's not forget the whole seducing part. Nice guys never make a move, they always hope the women make the first move, while the jerk will make a move without any care for her feelings. The good guy on the other hand, takes into consideration her feelings, and he will "create" the right oppertunity for a seducing environnement when attraction, and comfort as been established. JERKS (think of themselves [controlled by testosterone]) Good Guy (thinks for the both of you [controlls his testosterone]) Nice guy (thinks of treating the girl like gold, until she rewards you [is ashamed of his testosterones, the girl needs to make the first move, you just need to treat her really nice until she does]) The good guy is the best guy!
Mary3 Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 You said the Goldiggers don't go for you anyways ......May I ask ( don't be mad , lol ) Do you make good money ? You said you were handsome and had no problem getting laid. You say you pick and choose the girl. Are you considered : the nice guy , the good guy or the bad guy ?
lino Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I make enough money that would be able to sustain a family on my own. I don't make enough to drive a Lamborghini or anything No, I've never dealt with gold diggers & don't want to. I was once considered the nice guy by others & myself & I once really believed that to be a good quality of mine but I no longer think that. Of course to family & friends I am still a very nice guy but to girls I have an interest in, no way! Right now I guess I'm not strictly either one of the 3 types you mentioned in your last question. Possibly a mix of all 3? I wouldn't call myself handsome as such but I am good looking & naturally aggressive in appearance. Add to that my tattoos & build which ends up with me constantly attracting the same types of women - the ones which go for typically bad guys. They're usually pretty hot & carry a lot of attitude & are attracted to me for my appearance but after a while they realize I'm not how they imagined & leave. I guess they probably also like the way I treat them initially as a nice change to what they're used to but really they don't appreciate it. No I don't pick & choose the girl, they are usually the ones who find me. This was all nice when all I wanted was flings as a younger bloke but I've wanted more for a while now & these types of girls don't want that with me. Now I no longer bother to do any of the things I once believed to be the right things to do with women & it seems to work to an extent as I mentioned in my last post. I still don't totally understand women but I feel I know much more than I did before. Yes it feels nice but I see it as the worst thing you can hear as a guy, instead of "your boy is so brave Mrs. Madr" or "You kick his azz pretty good, son" or "Oh, he become such a strong man". My knife certainly started to open any time I heard anything about my physical appearance other than muscles and it still makes me sick. But hey Im emotional dwarf so maybe Im wrong I get what you mean. I appreciate any compliments I get & don't worry I get plenty of them about my muscles. It's just that I don't consider being called nice, wonderful, caring, etc as compliments anymore.
DanielMadr Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 It's just that I don't consider being called nice, wonderful, caring, etc as compliments anymore. When someone called me that as a kid, well, if it was adult I just clenched my teeth. If I was called nice,wonderful, caring etc. by a guy at school, well 9 times of ten it was a challenge for fight. And any adult man should be very careful when girls other than his granny or mommy call him wonderful, caring and nice. Because it means he resembles little cute bunny.
Walk Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Yes it feels nice but I see it as the worst thing you can hear as a guy, instead of "your boy is so brave Mrs. Madr" or "You kick his azz pretty good, son" or "Oh, he become such a strong man". Walk, can you enlighten me what a girl might like to hear from her parents or older brother so she wouldnt develop some insecurities or bias about the world? Ideally, it would be praise based upon their accomplishments. If the girl works hard at earning good grades in school, or has tackled a major job that took a great deal of effort... even if she's not doing that well, its the praise for the effort involved that is important. I'd just like to point out that men aren't helping matters. You (men in general) will bend over backwards for good looking girls. You reinforce that what REALLY matters in this world is how hot a girl is. Especially in the teens and 20's. No guy brags to his friends about how his new girlfriend has won a scholarship for her hard work in college. Women hear this. We aren't stupid. We pick up that what is important to a guy at that age is looks. So we cater to that. For our effort, we expect certain things in return. Either that's the guys looks, his money, or how a man will treat us (depending on what the woman is looking for). It irks me that men will get on here and bytch about how the hot women are selfish, materialistic, blah blah.. then the guy goes out to the bar, looks for the girl with the tanned skin, professionally styled hair, great makeup, and clothes that cost hundreds of dollars to make her look her absolute best. The ones that complain the most seem to be attracted to the type of women who have invested a great deal of time and effort into presenting an attractive outer appearance. The guy gets pissed that the women are shallow. Yet EVERYTHING about this girl has screamed who she was from the moment he laid eyes on her. I don't know.. it just seems so stupid that men focus so much on how a woman looks to the exclusion of some incredibly wonderful women out there. Then the man gets pissed that the hottie wanted someone that wasn't him. He whines that its unfair. To me, its comparable to seeing a really expensive sports car, and then throwing a tanturm when you can't afford it. Its juvenile. Women are confronted every day with the knowledge that men value how you look. The better you look, the higher your value to men. Either pay up, or stop whinning about it. Most of us couldn't afford the really expensive sports car so we drive average cars. Or we hoof it where we want to go. These men complaining are saying they deserve the expensive car, and won't even consider the average ones. Then get pissed that they're walking.
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