feel_sick Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 As some of you read, my husband is cheating and hasn't admitted it yet, but he is. Yesterday I asked him to move out of the house we bought last year. I had already asked him a week ago to watch the kids on Fri night because I had plans with friends. He slept on the couch when I got home for the first time all week. I cannot go with a total communication breakdown. We have not spoke all week really. The last time we spoke was when I called a meeting with him on tuesday to see where we go from here. He still "didn't know" I can't help but think of all the things we had planned for our future. Just this past Saturday, he asked me where I wanted to go on vacation in April. Just 2 weeks ago he asked me if I wanted him to help me start up my own business. I am confused by all this. Were those just lies? How do you go from planning to future to being not sure if you want to stay married? I finally told him this morning that we cannot go on having no communication. I said even if he doesn't want to talk about "us" we need to talk about everything else. (He agreed we could talk on Sun) I don't even know what "everything else" means. House? Kids? Divorce? What? I don't even know how to start the conversation. I don't want to come off desperate, but I think deep down as much as I am so farking hurt right now, I think I would like to have all those things we talked about for our future. I checked 3 libraries so I could speed read "Love is Tough" and 2 bookstores- no one carries it. I really need help on what to do tomorrow when we're about to talk. Thank you so much for all your advice so far. Today is a really bad day for me. I've never felt like this.
LadyInsanity Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 I think you should get an attorney ASAP to make sure you have someone who is thinking in your best interest, as far as what is going to happen financially, with kids...etc. You're pretty vunerable right now....that is the 1st thing I'd do.....it's protecting yourself and your children...
Ladyjane14 Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 If you don't have time to speed-read through any books, I think your best bet is to type into your browser "What are Plan A and Plan B, marriagebuilders"... then read as much of the information as you can. Read the Basic Concepts section as well as the How to Survive Infidelity section. I don't recommend the boards though. It's better to take it right from the horse's mouth and then tailor it to your own needs. And do... see an attorney. Finding out what your legal rights are will make you feel a bit more in control of the situation. Knowing what you can do (and what you can't) will help you to set realistic goals. You don't have to file just to talk.
Gunny376 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 The ladies are correct? You should consult with an attorney? Better yet? At least three of them? Like anything you need to shop around? Attorney's come in all shapes, types, varities, and temperments? Your initial consultation shouldn't cost you anything? If it does? Pass them by? And remember? Its not what you've got to offer them? Its what they've got to offer you? Your the consumer? My step-brother runs a private practice out of B'Ham and his overhead before he puts a dime in his pocket is $10,000 a month? So be weary and shop around. The books your looking for can be found at Books A Million and Barnes and Nobles websites ~ even used additions? Also on Amazon. Books about communitcation: "You Just Don't Understand" "Genderspeak" other good books? "Why Men Don't Have A Clue? And Women Need Another Pair Of Shoes and last, but not least? "When Venus and Mars Collide" John Gray, PhD The last one is about how men and women relate to and deal with stress, and with buying a new house, talking about starting a new business, childen, it sounds as though the two of you are under a lot of stress? The last one is currently available at China ~ I mean Walmart for less than $20? I highly recommend it When you read it, you will understand and comprehend that your husband is reacting to stress? Not that that in itself justifies his cheating? And not to mean that you should just lay down and accept the status quo? But it will give you some knowledge ~ some news you could use ~ in alievating both yours and his stress levels? I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water? Just yet?
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