Galexia Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 What does that mean? I'm trying to be there for a friend while he goes through a divorce. He said he is "putting that $h!t (meaning the pain) in a box and locking it up. I really want him to deal with it so he can be open to love again in the future, but I'm afraid as long as the box is locked, he'll never love again. How long will it take for him to be open again?
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 i think sometimes when something is TOO painful, it is easier to block it out. but you are right, it is better to deal with it. some time ago, i was assaulted quite badly...i blocked it out so much, i can barely remember it, even though it was serious. the result was i had flashbacks, and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress. now i'm not saying that will be the case with your pal - but i am saying it is a natural response to block out the most painful events, but not the right one. all you can do is be the good friend you are to him, coz he might need you in a few months time, when that box begins to open.
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 i think sometimes when something is TOO painful, it is easier to block it out. but you are right, it is better to deal with it. some time ago, i was assaulted quite badly...i blocked it out so much, i can barely remember it, even though it was serious. the result was i had flashbacks, and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress. now i'm not saying that will be the case with your pal - but i am saying it is a natural response to block out the most painful events, but not the right one. all you can do is be the good friend you are to him, coz he might need you in a few months time, when that box begins to open. Do you go to counseling, to help deal with the truma? Because things like this can carry over into a marriage.........
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 hi darth yip i see a psychotherapist, and it is helping i think. it was a very violent sexual assault, but you know i can't really remember it...i get flashbacks that stun me and terrify me and shake me up so badly - i almost lost my job, everything i worked for, because the ptsd was so bad. that's why i wish i had dealt with it at the time. i didn't even go to the police. i just blocked it. my friend (the one i mentioned in lilach's thread) was asking me what he looked like, and i couldn't tell him...i just can't remember. that is why i feel pain has to be felt at the time, and worked through, not run away from.
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 hi darth yip i see a psychotherapist, and it is helping i think. it was a very violent sexual assault, but you know i can't really remember it...i get flashbacks that stun me and terrify me and shake me up so badly - i almost lost my job, everything i worked for, because the ptsd was so bad. that's why i wish i had dealt with it at the time. i didn't even go to the police. i just blocked it. my friend (the one i mentioned in lilach's thread) was asking me what he looked like, and i couldn't tell him...i just can't remember. that is why i feel pain has to be felt at the time, and worked through, not run away from. I'm sorry that you had a bad time of everything! It's good that you're in therapy of some sort.
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 If that's you in your avatar, wow, you look cute!
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :o:o:o lol stop it you!! xxxxxx i chose it coz it's like how i imagine myself..the hair and the legs are the same...the angel wings are missing!!! thank you too....the ptsd was the worst part in a way - it affects me when i'm in the shower, cleaning my teeth, making the bed, washing dishes - i feel all the sucky pain that i didn't allow myself to feel at the time. but...i can live with it, with help, so it's ok!!!!
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :o:o:o lol stop it you!! xxxxxx i chose it coz it's like how i imagine myself..the hair and the legs are the same...the angel wings are missing!!! thank you too....the ptsd was the worst part in a way - it affects me when i'm in the shower, cleaning my teeth, making the bed, washing dishes - i feel all the sucky pain that i didn't allow myself to feel at the time. but...i can live with it, with help, so it's ok!!!! Because doing all those things would bring back bad memories? I've heard some things can trigger certain memories, like a BS remembering certain things that a WS did, etc. I know the things aren't related, but, there are a few simularities that can go for both situations, both are highly trumatic!
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :o:o:o lol stop it you!! xxxxxx i chose it coz it's like how i imagine myself..the hair and the legs are the same...the angel wings are missing!!! With hair and legs like that, WOW! Even if you don't have the wings of an Angel, you sure do have the hair and legs of an Angel!
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 see, i think with a trauma, if it isn't dealt with, it can come back and bite you on your bum when you're doing the most mundane things. i could be driving along a country road, feeling soooooooo happy, and suddenly get a flashback of my assault. it is so random - it hits you when you don't expect it!!! nothing has triggered it darth - but my mind has squashed it so much, like squeezing a balloon, that it just bursts!!! does that make sense??
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 With hair and legs like that, WOW! Even if you don't have the wings of an Angel, you sure do have the hair and legs of an Angel! :o awww...i think i might like you a lot!!! :love: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :o awww...i think i might like you a lot!!! :love: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I do have that affect on people! Well, not all people, cheaters don't like me because I get right up in their face about it, especially when they try to justify or hide behind what other people may or may not have done, but enough about that.
Author Galexia Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 Thanks for the threadjack, guys....;)LOL
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 see, i think with a trauma, if it isn't dealt with, it can come back and bite you on your bum when you're doing the most mundane things. i could be driving along a country road, feeling soooooooo happy, and suddenly get a flashback of my assault. it is so random - it hits you when you don't expect it!!! nothing has triggered it darth - but my mind has squashed it so much, like squeezing a balloon, that it just bursts!!! does that make sense?? Like you try to contain it so much, it slips through your fingers, so to speak. The harder you try to avoid it, the more it rears it's ugly head!
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 lol why do you do that? you mean random cheats, that you don't know?? wow you're brave!!!! :eek:
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Thanks for the threadjack, guys....;)LOL Oops, well there's no other place to meet women!:eek:
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Like you try to contain it so much, it slips through your fingers, so to speak. The harder you try to avoid it, the more it rears it's ugly head! yip, exactly. it's so painful, you lock it away, like the OP said about a locked box. you're right darth - it's like sand...the harder you grasp, the more it slips through your fingers.
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Thanks for the threadjack, guys....;)LOL :o:o sorry sweet...we were trying to help.....
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 lol why do you do that? you mean random cheats, that you don't know?? wow you're brave!!!! :eek: In here, well yeah, but, I'm also trying to help too, in many different ways. I think we better stop Hijacking this Thread, and just when it was getting sooooo GOOD too!
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :o:o sorry sweet...we were trying to help..... Then we just got carried away! Yeah, that's it! We got carried away!
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 boooo.....well, ok then!! :love: thanks for listening to me btw...i hadn't told anyone, outside my friend, about what happened to me. thank you sooooooo much for listening!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx i hope i get to talk to you again!!!!
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Then we just got carried away! Yeah, that's it! We got carried away! :laugh: i just find darth vader sooooo sexy!! star wars was the first film i saw in the cinema!! he still does it...
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 boooo.....well, ok then!! :love: thanks for listening to me btw...i hadn't told anyone, outside my friend, about what happened to me. thank you sooooooo much for listening!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx i hope i get to talk to you again!!!! I'm sure you will!
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 I'm sure you will! YAY!!! :love: i soooo hope so!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Darth Vader Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :laugh: i just find darth vader sooooo sexy!! star wars was the first film i saw in the cinema!! he still does it... But of course! See you in the movies Baby! You don't have any Pics by chance do you? Laterz! Vader out!
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