Tiredofpain Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 I got involved with a MM 8 months ago. It was supposed to be a one-night stand. I had no interest in getting into a relationship and had been dateless for 2 years before he came into the picture. That one night turned into another, and another, and before the week was out he told me he loved me. We saw each other several times a week for about a month and a half and then I saw him with his W at a ceremony and freaked out and broke up with him. I just didn't want to be the OW. That NC lasted 2 whole weeks, and then he showed up at my house. One look and I was hooked again. The next 6 months were a series of ups and downs that made me crazy, I lost 21 lbs and started smoking again. I hated having no control of anything - it was all on his terms. He promised to leave her and marry me, and in fact did leave her twice during the course of our relationship. The first time he went back I hung in there because I couldn't bear to end it. The second time he left her was after she caught him here, at my house. That time, I told him that if he ever went back, I was leaving him for good. During all this time, he said he loved me every day, promised to marry me, made plans for the future with me, told his mother and siblings about me, and introduced me to all his friends. Then, about a week ago, he just changed. He stood me up three times, canceled plans, and I knew deep down he was going back home again and didn't want to tell me. I was right, and all he had to say was "sorry he caused so much trouble" and the kicker, "maybe we can still be close someday." I am devastated, heartsick, confused and angry. Married men are NOT WORTH IT. If I'd stuck to my guns back in September I'd be over this by now. Never, ever again. I am 46 years old and way too old for this kind of drama and heartbreak. Learn from me, girls, please!!! Oh, there are signs that he's not who you think he is: here were some of his - "I told you I was a selfish a-hole." "I have poor impulse control." "Someday you're going to throw that in my face" (referring to the necklace he got me for Christmas), and the fact that he has been cheating on his W since the first week they were married, 17 years ago. Was I stupid? Heck yes. Believe them when they say negative things! Love to you all and good luck. I am so glad I am not his W!
mistresswchildren Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 I never realized that ALL MM talk negatively about themselves. Now that you have said something, I realize it is true. I wish you had been around three years ago before I had gotten involved with my MM. It sounds like you have learned a lot through the process though. Reading your words, I can hear a strong individual. You will obviously come through this. I applaud your strength.
Gwyneth Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Oh, there are signs that he's not who you think he is: here were some of his - "I told you I was a selfish a-hole." "I have poor impulse control." Love to you all and good luck. I am so glad I am not his W! I say the same thing all the time "thank god I'm not his wife," especially when he tried to say I'm jealous of her. Yes, I 'm jealous of a woman who doesn't have a college education like I worked my hard a* for, for five years of my life; isn't independent, and oh yes, her husband cheats on her. That's the kind of woman I dream to be. Um no--I'm proud of who I am and have no reason to be jealous of anyone (unless you're Grace Kelly of course...). You feel bad for the people who are treated wrongly--not jealous of them. MM too gave me reasons not to be with him. He said he cheats on all, and would probably cheat on me; said he's stupid many times (glad he can admit that, that way I didn't have to tell him myself every other week); and he also said he has no control, which I find extremly sad. That to me says you don't want to take responsibility for your actions because you're weak. Yeah, these cheating men have no place in our hearts, really. They're so full of themselves it's sickening. At least the cheating husbands who continuously do this to their wife (wives).
penelope12 Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 How about "I am not the strong man that you think I am". Has anyone heard that one before?
mistresswchildren Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 How about "I am not the strong man that you think I am". Has anyone heard that one before? I've heard that before and, "I'm not the same person that I was in the beginning of our relationship." Meaning: Well once I got what I wanted, I didn't feel like being emotional anymore.
Recommended Posts