What am i to do???

[ruttn starjna]

Hello there. I hae been feeling down for almost 3 months and that i have been getting nightmares ever since i received a bad news from my girlfriend... Ok... It has been about a year that me and my girlfriend has been together... I am a Malay (Asian) and she's a German and we have different religion and customs but we love each other... Well, she's actually a student to my country and she's not a local and how we got together was unexplainable. We just love each other... Well, yeah like i said, its been a year now and our parents love our relationship and ive prepared to take it seriously to another step.

 

So... we have been quarelling for some few months and our relationships has filled in with more downs than ups. And she's very busy with her school and im very busy with my work. But i will always coem to her place when she wants me to and ive never failed to be there for her. Not once. So... there was this day when her parents came over here from Germany to visit us and we had dinner... And on that dinner table, i broke out this news that i'd like to take this to another step and that id like to get engaged to her and my girlfriend is so happy about it, so were her parents... Everyone was so happy bout it and we were thinking about the engagement cermony to take place next year...

 

All that happy feelings go down when after 2 months later we started to quarrel like god knows how many times... And then after much asking her what was the problem, she told me that she will not be staying here, in Singapore with me anymore which takes effect next year June. I would follow her if i could but she knows that im stuck with a 5 year contract job... But before both me and her planned on our life together, and ive even applied for a new house for me and her to stay... So she told me that she do not want to stay here and that she might go back to Germany or she might go to the states or UK to settle her life... And when i told her what about our relationship she wants me to be realistic and that since she's not staying here it will not work... I told her that id find ways to quit my the 5 year contract job and follow her but she does not want me to follow her... I dont know why but she said she'd like to settle her life first but she does not know if me and her would work things out when she leaves this country... Now im so sad... Its like everything ive planned for her i even bought her a ring already actually... I dont know... Im willing to wait for 5 years and go over to wherever she will be but will she wait for me? The thing is, i could not go on without her and i dont know how she can cope it but she sounds calm.. Maybe she has given up on our relationship because of that she knows me and her could not go further... I dont know i need help...

[Starla]

hi rutt. i think it sounds like she has made up her mind to go, and to walk away from this relationship. it could be she has come to the realisation that she wants something different, something that does not include you or a life in singapore.

 

i lived in vietnam for 2 years, and i met a guy who worked in hong kong. we made lots of plans, and i was swept u in the whole thrill of it. i loved him very much. but when our plans began to turn into reality - i realised, very firmly and certainly, that it wasn't what i wanted. i was homesick, i missed my family, i had a powerful urge to leave, regardless of how much i would miss my bf and hurt him. and i have never regretted it.

 

sometimes, people only realise what they want, when they see the reality, when they see what they are giving up and the life they are making for themselves.