btc8 Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 I have been seeing this guy for about three weeks. We just went on our third date, and we have a lot in common it seems--in fact, he seems like a near carbon-copy of me: his mannerisms, his likes and dislikes, how he views life, and even his history. We live about a half-hour or so away from each other, but we pretty much call each other everyday. We both agreed that, given our past, we wish to take the relationship slow seeing as we both admitted to one another that we have had a tendency to take things fast in previous relationships. (we only see each other about once a week, and we thus have been on three dates). I tend to over-analyze things, and I like to 'type' everything (like qualify this as a date, or that I'm in a relationship, or that now we are a couple, etc.). Okay, now on to what happened at the end of the third date. We went out to dinner, and I had a wonderful time. The conversation was flowing nicely and there were no awkward silent moments. We planned on seeing a movie together next weekend for the fourth date. When he was about to drop me off at the end of the date tonight, we both gave each other a hug, and as we were pulling away, I said I had the urge to kiss him (tacky, I know, but that's how I felt; this also was the first time we kissed). I gave him a peck on the lips. He remained where he was, and then said, "Is that all I get: just a peck?" So we kissed some more. Now I feel like perhaps I shouldn't have asked to kiss him, but I have no idea why. He's obviously into me if he spends time with me and calls me everyday, but I think the taking the relationship slow is just getting to me. I keep replaying my saying that I want to kiss him in my head. What does everyone think? Should I not have asked him for the kiss? Comments appreciated! Thanks!
dreamergrl Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 I see nothing wrong with asking for a kiss! You can take things slow and still have those moments It sounds like a great start to a good relationship! Good luck!
blondie_and_blue Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Don't worry about it! He obviously liked the kiss, or he wouldn't have asked for more! No harm done!
carhill Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 My only reservation would be being too much "alike".... This has bit me into the dreaded friend zone on a few occasions, most pointedly with someone I was very much in love with. That said, if you both have healthy backgrounds and attachment styles, alike can be a wondrous thing as you discover so many similar nuances between yourselves. Restrained passion can be quite an aphrodisiac BTW, if you can restrain your propensity for over-analyzing (I'm very guilty of this), the kissing will be a lot more fun
Author btc8 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 I see nothing wrong with asking for a kiss! You can take things slow and still have those moments It sounds like a great start to a good relationship! Good luck! Like I mentioned before, we both have gone into relationships very fast in the past, so this is probably why I am feeling uneasy at this point. But after three dates and our talking everyday, I don't really see how a few kisses can be seen as not moving slow. I mean, I don't think it was too fast. Thoughts?
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 :confused::confused::confused: sweet, just enjoy it!!! at this stage it's meant to be FUN lol - you'll drive yourself crazy worrying about wee things like this!! you were funny i think to say that - really cool!! it's endearing....so just you relax and go with the flow!! it's different to what you have experienced before - new territory for both of you, so i understand why you're wondering about this. but honestly, you'll miss out on so much fun and good times if you worry about it too much!
Author btc8 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 :confused::confused::confused: sweet, just enjoy it!!! at this stage it's meant to be FUN lol - you'll drive yourself crazy worrying about wee things like this!! you were funny i think to say that - really cool!! it's endearing....so just you relax and go with the flow!! it's different to what you have experienced before - new territory for both of you, so i understand why you're wondering about this. but honestly, you'll miss out on so much fun and good times if you worry about it too much! Thanks for the advice! Of course, I realize now that I am a bit loopy--sometimes I get very obsessive over things, not just relationships. Your words made total sense to me, and I need to stop over thinking this kind of stuff! It's the later parts of the relationship that call for analysis and thinking, not the beginnings
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 i think it sounds like both of you are being really sexy and cute with each other, and yet you also have sussed each other out quite deeply, appreciating that you have much in common and learning about each other!! it sounds like it's going swimmingly - enjoy every second of it!!! :)
Portage Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 awwwww, the sweet honeymoon phase. I LOVE the beginning of any new relationship. Asking for the kiss was very appropriate. He was probably relieved you brought it up, easy ice breaker for him. Enjoy the heart pounding, sweaty palm excitement ahead.
dreamergrl Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Like I mentioned before, we both have gone into relationships very fast in the past, so this is probably why I am feeling uneasy at this point. But after three dates and our talking everyday, I don't really see how a few kisses can be seen as not moving slow. I mean, I don't think it was too fast. Thoughts? Of course you can pace things slower with a few kisses. Taking things slow isn't just about if you're going to jump into bed with someone, it's also how much emotion you vest into it. The man I'm seeing and I are taking things slow - one date at a time, but we still enjoy having those kisses and such - we just aren't diving head first into a relationship. I think you'll be just fine
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