Belkin Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 (edited) So it's been 2 months and 7 days since she dumped me to go with another guy... I still see the two of them almost everyday on campus (very small, 300 students) and she still lives across my doorstep. For the past few weeks, she's been spending all her nights in his room, so I haven't seen her so much as before, which has greatly helped me cope. I thought she was going home for the WE, but apparently not. The last week or so has been extremely hard on me: exams as when she dumped me, a friend of mine who left for Sweden had his gf "taken" by another guy, so of course everyone talks about it when he's not there. And it keeps reminding me of my own situation, of course. Then tonight, we went out to party with my group of friends (not my ex fortunately!) as a last year student is leaving the campus for his internship tomorrow. His gf, also a student here, was all over him, very sad because the love of her life was leaving her, and they'll only see each other on weekends. I wanted to scream at her that it could be worse, that he could have dumped her for another girl on campus, and that she would have to suffer the pain of seeing them together and going to sleep knowing he was banging the other girl. Now the party is over, and I broke down in my room. I hadn't cried for at least 3 weeks, I thought I was getting better, but all these events just crashed together and made me fall apart again. Having drunk quite a bit probably didn't help either... Well anyways, here I am, all alone in front of my computer, the screen twirling in front of me due to the drinks. I'll go to bed, alone as usual, knowing she's cuddling and f****ing with her new bf. I seriously thought I was over this, but I guess not after all. I'm so mad at myself, it's been over two months and I'm still depressed over a 4 months relationship. I want to move on so much, I do all I can in order to, but it seems I can't get out of this mess. I wear a mask all day, pretend to be fine, actually persuade myself I am fine, and then it all blows up again at the slightest thing, be it seeing them together, seeing another couple, or like tonight seeing a girl cry over her bf who she'll only get to see on weekends and vacations, while I get to see her everyday but know it's over and she doesn't see me anymore. She doesn't care **** about me anymore, we have cut all contact together (besides the frequent bumping into each other, but we ignore each other superbly [me because I need to, her because I've asked her to ignore me so I can move on.]) And yet I can't manage to not care about her anymore. There's not one hour when I don't think of her, not one night when I don't dream of her. I force myself to think of other stuff, I try to look at other girls, and yet all I revolve around is her, her, her. If only I could cut her out of my mind once and for all, stop tormenting myself about her! Well, whatever. This has taught me so much, I'll never again give myself to another person so easily at least! If you have any comfort or advice, feel free to drop a post. Good night all (it's 2am here!) Edited March 29, 2008 by Belkin
atc2410 Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 I feel for you man. What an absolutely horrible set of circumstances you've had bestowed upon you. You obviously felt the real thing for this girl and it's one thing to deal with that loss but to be in a situation where you share the same uni and therefore cannot avoid seeing her with her new lover is nigh impossible. That and having to keep it together for study and exams? It really does read as though you're handling it incredibly well. Despite how upsetting it must be I can tell you you're composing yourself remarkably despite insane obstacles. At the very least you have an admirer in me my friend.
latefragment Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Hang in there. You are doing a fantastic job of keeping it together. I don't think I could do it as well as you do. Having to see her all the time? You should give yourself a lot more credit. Figure that you'll break down every once in a while and keep on trucking. I've been through a lot of pain recently too, and I have to say that it was really hard getting through it... and I know where you're at ... I'm still kinda there actually...
SarahT111 Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Hey Belkin Hope things are getting better? Let us know!! Hang in there, it will get better!!
iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 hey mate, be strong.. it will get better.. i dated a girl once who i thought was the best thing ever and believed i would never get over her and find someone better... I did! and now she's dumped me too! The point is, you will move on and it will get easier.. one day at a time.. be strong!
pigeonsid Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Hi Belkin- I don't know if this will help you as much as it did me, since you're a guy, but last night I googled Mary-Louise Parker to make myself feel better. For those who don't know the story - Billy Crudup dumped her just 2 months before she was due to give birth to their child. They'd been together 8 years I think, and he left her for Claire Danes. She hasn't given any interviews on the subject but just the story itself is incredible - I don't know how she got through that period. But the best thing is - Claire Danes and Billy Crudup broke up after 3 years. Mary-Louise Parker is now on a hit TV show and engaged. Oh yeah, and I think that Claire Danes cheated on Billy Crudup and ended up leaving him for a co-star. What goes around comes around right? And I keep telling myself - if Mary-Louise Parker can bounce back after going through that, then so can I. Also, if she can learn to trust a man again, after having someone leave her just before she's due to give birth, then so can I. And I remember that my situation is not really that bad, considering what some people go through. =) Take care.
Author Belkin Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Wow... I reread my post after receiving an email telling me someone had answered: I was seriously depressed that night! Luckily it's not like that every night, phew... Right now I know pretty much what she's up to, but I don't care so much. Hopefully the next big crash is not for tomorrow! Thanks for your words of support. I appreciate it
stlnsmile Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Belkin, so sorry.....God I know...I really know......same for me, it was hard. But you have to know......you have to.......that you are better than this. You are better than this treatment, no one deserves this type of treatment, and you have to know, that there is someone out there for you who will not, and I repeat will not rip your heart out. You have to know you are worth so much more than pinning away for someone who was so callous with your heart. There are lots of great girls out there, and I know you are not ready for that yet, but you will be soon, and you deserve to be with one of those girls who won't hurt you like this. Stay strong Belkin.......it gets better......you know how I have been, and I'm feelin better already. It still hurts, but yesterday saw him in school and he had lost all this weight and just looked horrible, and I seriously thought for the first time "what the hell did I ever see in this guy" I wasn't even physically attracted to him anymore. Today, I find myself worrying if he is alright.......isn't that strange. His mother was always pshycho about the weight of her children, and one of her sons was anorexic......and I always was the one to encourage him to eat and stay healthy......of course.......and he's not......he looks like hell. But he's with someone else, and you know, I actually feel sorry for them both. I know you can not imagine feeling that way right now......but you will. Thats all I am saying, you will get to a point, someday, when the anger and rage are gone, and the disbeliefe too......and you will find a way to forgive. For now, take care of yourself, and don't drink too much, it never helps. And stay with your friends, and stay away from that dorm as much as possible.....go hiking, or biking, or shooting, hey shooting could be fun.....do anything you can to just have fun.......seriously.....she's not the center of the Universe, you were someone before you met her. Peace.
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