Back on my horse...Thanks..

[Joebo]

Hi guys,

 

Just a brief update on my situation. I have been feeling like crap all week regarding my break up. It has been 7 months now. I know, I know, get over it you balloon! However, it has been causing me problems.

 

Its been 3 weeks NC and I really felt like calling her tonight. So guess what, I called my brother. He and his wife have put up with all of my emotional rollercoaster since day one. My sister in law is just like a sister to me. She has always said to back off, that she thought my ex would definitely come back. Here's the thing, when I last saw the ex 3 weeks ago we bumped into my brother and his wife. Talking to her tonight she said that it seemed pretty clear that there was something missing between us. When I said that I wanted to call her she basically said "No way, thats it now. You have got to let all that stuff go and get on with your life" They both pointed out that it would be a MAJOR mistake if I was to call her. That was a real wake up call to me.

 

She also reminded me that I never really seemed that excited to be seeing my ex a lot of the time when we were in the relationship. That if I really wanted it then I would have commited well before the break up. That she feels that its not the ex that I wanted but just a significant other.

 

I'm now looking forward to my holiday next week. I feel as though I have the will to move on and try to leave my relationship in the past. I have a good career, friends, the whole works. Its time I started living again. I'm sure there will still be days that are not so good but I'll try to keep on keeping on. A group of my friends have also invited me on holiday with them at the summer. Previously I have always been scared of making arrangements in case the ex was to miraculously appear and want to do something. However, I think I'll go with them and just try to enjoy myself.

 

Also, I've always wanted a motorcycle so I'm gonna take my test and get myself a bike. I know, midlife crisis in my early thirties! So, even though I dont feel great I'm gonna try to push on now. If she wanted me she'd be here but she aint! End of story. Thats all she wrote. I'm worth too much to be wasting my life away wondering about things that I cannot control. I have really needed a kick in the ass. Well it came along tonight.

 

And finally, people on here give some great advice. Even though not on my situation I'm gonna big up JMargel who I don't know but have read a lot of his posts and he seems to give very practical/thoughtful advice. Also Vivrantflo, he speaks the truth man, don't believe the hype! I love the quote "When someone hands me a break I hand them a break up". Great quote and great advice. This advice will get you a quick resolution to many of your issues. These are only two of many people giving up their free time to hand out sound advice.

 

If the exes want to come back they will. Turn your back and walk away, save your dignity.

 

Here's the bizarre thing, I have read advice given from a lot of these people mentioned and been angry with them. I was angry because they made comments that I didn't want to hear about situations similar to my own. I feel better from the fact that I can actually recognise that now. I was in denial. So big up the LSers and also the sound advice that is given out by many people here.

 

So, would I take the ex back? Maybe, but I wont be devoting all of my attention to thinking about it. Its time to get back in the saddle. There must be someone else out there. Maybe I was wrong when I said a brief update. So be it...

 

Take it easy,

 

JB.

Edited March 28, 2008 by Joebo
Punctuation, I think..

[datingmum]

Hey 7 months is a long time, but I can tell you my ex pined for his last relationship for 4 years. Don't do that to yourself. He missed out on alot of 'ladykilling' years! And tainted the beginning of our relationship by still being in light contact with her.

 

Don't call her. Just wait and see.

 

Get your bike! I've taken my CBT training here in the UK and want to get my 'big bike' license when I have the extra cash. It is exhilirating and fun and enormously ego boosting! Plus, let me tell you, the ladies seriously *dig* blacked out visors and leathers!

 

oh, getting weak in the knees just thinking about it!

[Joebo]

Hi DM,

 

Thanks for the advice. I'm kind of realising that I could go on obsessing with no end in sight. That cannot be healthy. I was a slightly overweight 5'10" last summer tipping the scales at 180lbs! I've been eating well and training like mad and am now a much trimmer 156lbs. I'm starting to feel better about myself. I'm sure someone will have me!

 

I'm definitely getting the bike now after those comments! lol

 

Re: the bike. I've been looking at the cost and it seems you can do the direct access course for around £500. That includes the CBT which is pretty good. I think I'm gonna go for that. Do you know much about bikes? I was thinking of a Yamaha Virago 250 to begin with. Any thoughts?

[datingmum]

I'd get AT LEAST a 400 if not a 600. I know they sound too big and fast, but honestly, once you've trained on one, you won't want to go back!

 

As far as bikes go, the general rule of thumb is that:

 

Hondas have a more rigid chassis and have to be 'thrown' round corners, lots of body shifting to achieve good lines

 

Kwaks: to loud, i hate their engine noise (sorry this is subjective)

 

Yamahas R1s - featherlight and frighteningly quick, too much for me

 

Suzuki - my favorite brand, they're a bit more 'squirelly' in handling, the back end is a bit softer and tends to sort of do intuitive but weird stuff, kind of like driving a fast V8 with rear wheel drive if you know what I mean.

 

Yes, the access course is the way to go!

 

But once you've taken your test, you'll have ridden a few different engine sizes and I'm pretty sure you'll prefer a bigger bike.

 

GOOD LUCK!

 

And have fun at the gym! That's great work! Keep it going and get crazy with it, who knows, the next lady is in for a real treat!