dhbialer Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 I am going to be going back to work in a business I used to work in? Ex broke up with me 3 months ago and very bitter breakup on my part. I have had NC with her for most of this time. But because I am going to be working, sooner or later will probably run into her. How should I handle it? It is not a pleasant situation.
Starsky Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 Be the better man and acknowledge her at your work. If you make eye contact, just smile and say hi or wave. Don't initiate conversation. If she chooses to talk to you, keep it short and say you have to leave to do errands or meet up with friends. For example, if she asks, "hey, how are you?" You should just reply with "I'm well, a bit busy though. I have to run a few errands. See you around." The less she knows about you the better. By doing what is mentioned above, you will convey that you're okay with what happened and that it no longer bothers you. Good luck, Starsky
0hpenelope Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 (edited) Hm... If I were in your situation, I would just walk away. If I saw my ex before he saw me, I would take a detour. No need to be in a situation if I can avoid it myself first. If he saw me in a workplace situation first, I would be cordial and say "hello". Keep it at that greeting. If he needed to discuss business with me, then I will keep the conversation at business. If he tries to get personal, I will do to him what I do with people when they ask me about something I don't want to talk about: I stay quiet for a really long time. I learned that people don't like awkward, so... I make it awkward for them. Sorry LS folks, it's the nature of my beast. If I were in your place, that's what I would do. Keep it at hello, keep business discussions strictly business, and somehow shut her out when she's trying to get personal and fuzzy in a work discussion. I'm assuming that you guys might be co-workers? You don't need to be in a situation with her when you don't need to be. I like to give the benefit of the doubt to us girls when it comes to perception. For me, I go by body language: whether or not it's an assumption on my part that someone doesn't want to talk to me, if the vibe is off, then I leave that someone alone. I hope she'll leave you alone, too, for the most part and not approach you unless it's completely work-related. Edited March 28, 2008 by 0hpenelope added stuff
wareagle Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 I also work with my ex, and man is it hard. You have to avoid her at all costs at work, if that means breaking you daily routine than so be it. At least until you have moved on. If you do happen to run into her I would take the others advice and keep it simple. The less you know about her life while you are not in it the better off you will be. You don't have to be mean just keep it at a simple Hi hello, and keep walking.
Author dhbialer Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 Yeah, I sort of get it. But it is wierd. I sort of feel like saying, "this is wierd seeing you. So Hello and Goodbye", and then just mind my own business. But sort of the less said the better. It was a bitter time. Thanks for the words.
carhill Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 It's business. Be professional. She dumped you. Good on ya for sticking with NC. As someone mentioned, brief, professional and bye. Try to avoid projects which would have the two of you working together for any length of time. BTW, show me an easy breakup and I'll show you two corpses. Breakups are never easy, even when you think they are
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