My best girlfriend now has a boyfriend and is hardly avalible anymore.

[Glamourbella]

My bestfriend and I used to spend time together every other weekend, but now she has this boyfriend who she spends all her weekends with. Its hard to get together during the week, because we both work, and we live about an hour away from each other. I have a boyfriend as well, but I still make time for my friends, what should I do about this?

[LoveLace]

Do you think your best friend has never felt this way about you when you 1st got YOUR boyfriend? She may have, you just didn't realize it.

 

I don't want to sound harsh but that's life. People grow up, get into relationships and become less involved with friends. The key is to at least make occasional contact, catch up and let each other know you care about what's happening in each other's lives. Call her up, tell her your happy for her, but you've missed her lately and tell her to call you when she has time to set up a day to hang out with you.

 

Now in the case where your friend stops calling and never returns your calls, and pretty much drops off the earth for a long period of time, that would be a reason to feel a bit neglected. Otherwise, welcome to Adult world. We get busy, have our own lives, and as much as we'd like to spend as much time with friends as we used to, it gets harder to organize this.

 

I am single in my 30's. But you better believe every friend I have is married with kids. I have my own busy schedule as well. We do make time for each other on occasion, and it still doesn't even pan out sometimes, but no one gets mad at each other because well, this is life and we accept that. My best friend is married with 3 kids. Best friends for 20 years. We've gone months without hanging out, but we manage to call eachother at least once or twice a week to see how we're doing. If we could hang out more we would, but especially since I'm single, our lives are too different.

 

The best thing you can do is support your friend in all of her accomplishments.

[Gwyneth]

**Sigh**

 

I absolutely Hated when my friend's would do this. I pretty much always had a boyfriend or a guy I was casually dating in my life--and yet still found time for my friends. But yet, they couldn't find time for me or our other friends when they had a boyfriend.

 

Hang in there--you aren't alone. I suggest you talk to her about it--let her know this upsets you, and maybe the four of you can go out together on a weekend night. If she says no, then maybe think about Why she wouldn't want you to hang out with her boyfriend and her.

 

Is she insecure? Maybe she is afraid her bf will find You more intersting? I had friends like this--they didn't want to introduce me to their boyfriends because they were afraid their boyfriends would fall for me-- But you have a bf, so I don't see this as a significat problem.

 

Talk to her--not just us--and let her know this upsets you. Good luck

[LoveLace]

You could be right about the insecurity thing..it does happen.

 

I've also known of boyfriends/girlfriends to become very controlling over their SO to the point where a person really drops their friends or alters their lives for that guy/girl. I knew a girl who couldn't even play softball (with all women) because her man didn't want her to!...He didn't like her having much social time at ALL...I hope this isn't the case for the OP's friend.