dreamergrl Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 She can say that she respects him all she wants. However, I personally would not want to marry a woman who is this vengeful, controlling, and overall irritating. So are you implying that he should be able to do as he pleases, but she should conform for his insecurities? I personally would not want to marry someone who isn't willing to compromise.
Author lexi29 Posted March 28, 2008 Author Posted March 28, 2008 She can say that she respects him all she wants. However, I personally would not want to marry a woman who is this vengeful, controlling, and overall irritating. Well obviously my fiance does not feel I am any of these things because he wants to marry me. I wouldn't want to marry YOU either so no hard feelings:)
Lovegod Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 So are you implying that he should be able to do as he pleases, but she should conform for his insecurities? I'm not implying anything about him. He's not here to post his side of the story, nor to bear his personality to us. All we're hearing is the OP's anger over his behavior. This problem is beyond what a bunch of people on a message forum can fix. I also don't believe it can even be fixed by a marriage counsellor. The relationship sounds as if it's well beyond repair. I liken a relationship to a house. You need to do little repair jobs here and there to keep it in good shape. If you allow the problems to go unrepaired, or put "patch" jobs on it, the problems will still continue and get worse. Eventually, the problems will become numerous, and time-consuming to repair, not to mention expensive. If the problems still go unrepaired, the house will be in such poor shape that it's more reasonable to tear the house down, and build a completely new one. I firmly believe the OP's relationship is well beyond repair, and a lifetime of marriage conselling will NOT fix it. It's time to demolish it and start over. I wouldn't want to marry YOU either so no hard feelings That's right, because I would have booted you out the door before things got this messy. So it's a win-win for both of us
twice_shy Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 No, but maybe you could try to understand that it's not a big deal. Some people feel that they aren't enough for the SO if they feel the need to go watch other people take off their clothes.
twice_shy Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 Well curiousnycgirl is right-I'm not totally healed from what happened in October (he left me for his ex) so I really don't feel like I should be doing him any favors or "allowing" him to do things that make me uncomfortable. There is a still a scar there and I don't feel like he should be the one calling the shots. Althought you are probably right in that if I didn't make a big deal of him going this one time he would probably just go have fun and it would be done with. And I'll say it again, sound like he doesn't care too much about your feelings. If I dumped someone and hurt them, then got a 2nd chance, you better believe I'd be busting my hump to help alleviate any bad feelings or concerns my SO had. And if my SO felt bad or felt like she wasn't enough for me, then I'd care more about her feelings than some stripper.
dreamergrl Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 I'm not implying anything about him. He's not here to post his side of the story, nor to bear his personality to us. All we're hearing is the OP's anger over his behavior. This problem is beyond what a bunch of people on a message forum can fix. I also don't believe it can even be fixed by a marriage counsellor. The relationship sounds as if it's well beyond repair. I liken a relationship to a house. You need to do little repair jobs here and there to keep it in good shape. If you allow the problems to go unrepaired, or put "patch" jobs on it, the problems will still continue and get worse. Eventually, the problems will become numerous, and time-consuming to repair, not to mention expensive. If the problems still go unrepaired, the house will be in such poor shape that it's more reasonable to tear the house down, and build a completely new one. Well when is the other person ever here to tell their side? We can only go off of what the OP states, and she states that she's done things to respect his feelings - so he should be willing to do the same.
twice_shy Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 That's right, because I would have booted you out the door before things got this messy. So it's a win-win for both of us You sound like the kind of guy that wouldn't give a squirt of p!ss about your SO's feelings either.
dreamergrl Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 You sound like the kind of guy that wouldn't give a squirt of p!ss about your SO's feelings either. I completely agree with this!
Lovegod Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 You sound like the kind of guy that wouldn't give a squirt of p!ss about your SO's feelings either. Thanks for judging me based on a horribly insignificant and sarcastic post. You really made me see things differently.
Starla Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 Thanks for judging me based on a horribly insignificant and sarcastic post. You really made me see things differently. lol the wink was a bit of a giveaway!!
Star Gazer Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 Well obviously my fiance does not feel I am any of these things because he wants to marry me. You can be those things and have him still want to marry you. He can have his own serious flaws (which he does seem to have) while you still want to marry him as well. Just because you want to marry a person and you them doesn't render either of you flawless.
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