PinkRibbon Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 Hey guys! I know I should have posted this in the dating section but this is the only part of LS I read and wanted the opinions of those around here. Ok for those of you who know my story my ex left me 6 months ago and I have been just hanging out until then. I still miss him but I am feeling better about stuff. Well about a month ago I met this man ® and we have been hanging out often. Going to dinner, motorcycle riding and just watching movies together. Just fun stuff. Well R has an ex who he split up with that he is still good friends with. They were together 6 years. Well he has been in his own place for about 3 weeks now. (It was a mutual split between them. He said there was no spark or love they were just used to each other and she had chikdren he helped her with) Well Wednesday night he called and we went out and had a super great time. We went to his house and cuddled on the couch and watched Law and Order and he was working hard at getting friendly. Ok so when I arrived at his house at 7 his ex had called him and told him that her new boyfriend had heard that R had been saying stuff about him. And that the new boyfriend was going to com visit ® and that she was trying to hold him off of R. R was like what they heck I just saw this man Sunday and he was fine with me. And the ex mentioned to R that the new boyfriend had stayed the whole night on Sunday. So we go out. get back and watching TV and cuddling when she calls about 10:15 upset because since she had been holding the new boyfriend off of R the new boyfriend was now pissed at her and threatening her. So R talked about 3 mins and got off the phone. Well 11 and Law and Order goes off and he is being all romantic and the phone rings. Her again distraught because the boyfriend is threatening her and she has her children there. So R takes the phone and goes outside. Well about 10 mins I got tired of waiting and walked out the door patted him on the shoulder and left. I was tired and had to get up to work and personally I didn't feel like waiting around second fiddle. Ok I haven't heard from him. I called yesterday to see if he was ok and then this morning to see if he wanted to have lunch. Nothing. Ok guys.....what in the heck is going on? I left the house in a good mood and had a super wonderful evening with him saying all this great stuff to me and holding hands and being all romantic. Then nothing. No call no nothing. Did I just get dumped in a major way?? Help guys!!!!! What should I do next?
Author PinkRibbon Posted March 28, 2008 Author Posted March 28, 2008 Hey guys, I called him again this afternoon to see if he was ok and still no reply. I am slightly getting pissed off at this. What the heck kind of man is this? I mean great time and then boom nothing! He has been so great this week stopping by one night to just see me, then skipping work on Sunday to be with me all day, he calls every day and leaves cute messages on my work phone no nothing! He was off today so I know he had time to call me. Ok guys I am at a loss as to what to do???? Back off and give him time or say fudge it and not speak to him anymore.
macon Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 "I was tired and had to get up to work and personally I didn't feel like waiting around second fiddle. Ok I haven't heard from him. I called yesterday to see if he was ok and then this morning to see if he wanted to have lunch. Nothing. " He clearly still has issues with his ex - they may not be of his making, but she's certainly still relying on him for support. The best thing you can do is just be friends at the moment - there's no point you deciding 'not to speak to him anymore' unless you are really angry and absolutely have to express that. Doing that will not make him think you're wonderful and the woman for him - you'll just be yet another woman who's behaving emotionally and adding to his burdens, just like his ex. Much better to give him space to get all this unfinished stuff with her worked out. You're also quite fresh out of a break-up, so why leap so fast? Do your own thing - see friends and go out and do the stuff you like - don't cut him off, but don't expect anything romantic from him at the moment. Starting something with someone who still has unfinished business with their ex is only a recipe for failure. Get to know each other if you get the opportunity - and be a positive friend in his life - who knows what will happen when you're both in more positive, ex-free places
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