carhill Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Life's about options. Yours are looking pretty good right now
Ssheena Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Datingmum, do you need another kick in the butt? a) This "decision" is not for your stupid x to make. It is yours to make - for you and for your kids. Do not wait for him to say anything because he never will. He will continue to string you along and offer you crumbs every now and then. Crumbs are not good when you can have an entire cake. b) go to your therapist. Continue to work on yourself. c) go on dates. Do your best not to see each one as a potential "the one". Go on lots of dates. d) you know, you really do know, you can not have just a sexual relationship with the stupid x boyfriend. That's not what you want. You want, as far as I can gather, a mature respectful relationship with a someone who can be committed to you and your daughters. e) and your kids, let's revisit that shall we? You said they were asking where is the x? asking you questions, etc. You really want him to be around them again? You want to put them through that again? I get so frustrated with people who keep repeating the same stuff over and over and over again. The needle is stuck in a groove on your record and you need to get it out of the groove and on to the next song.
Author datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Hi Sheena! Yes, I need and have been kicking myself! a) Crumbs are not good enough. But maybe you haven't read about all my 'epiphanies' recently about my really bad behaviour. I did screw it up this time and am now on the backfoot b) I am in therapy! Yeah! c) I am going on dates! Yeah! At least I won't sit around moping anymore about it ALL the time! That leads to alot of resentment and anger d) I will not have just a sexual relationship with him! We talked about it, as it is a factor that has hitherto not been discussed. But that will never happen. He will have to work, like all the other guys I'll date!!! e) NO! I don't and will not. That is why despite his suggestions that he didn't want to 'completely' be cut out from their life, see them occasionally, i said no. Plus, my exhusband would skin me alive as he now is aware of the situation. If they are to ever see him again, it will be when WE are right, IF we are ever right. i know I can / have been/ possibly am stuck in the same groove. But what my mind knows and my heart feels are two different things sometimes. Also, I am growing and realising that SO MUCH of this desperation, pain, freaking out is because of ME and MY ISSUES. That is what I want to concentrate on now.
Ssheena Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 There ya go! Much better. I wish I could quote the lyrics to Moving on Up ...it's a song on the Full Monty soundtrack.. take it like a man, if that's what you are... I want to see a post about a really nice guy you go out with you treats you like a queen..
Author datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 I don't quite feel like those lyrics but... I could! I am still hoping for a miracle, but I *ain't* gonna sit and wait on it anymore. I need to hedge my bets now and start living a life. Then I can clearly see what I'm doing/what's out there/etc. And believe me, the MOMENT I go out with someone that treats me like a queen (the guys I've met so far are sweet like that, was always a pre-requisite for early stages for me - princess!) that also rocks my boat, then I'll be straight on LS! Watch!!
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