NuTuDating Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 No one is trying to degrade this guy. "Ugh, now that you have shared more about him, he sounds like a creep. You're never going to get a monogamous relationship out of him, sorry." You were saying?
Author Little Shy Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 Ugh' date=' now that you have shared more about him, he sounds like a creep. You're never going to get a monogamous relationship out of him, sorry.[/quote'] I do not know where you are from, how old you are, or what your experiences in life have been. From each time you respond to me, or others, I can tell we live on other sides of the planet or universe, and might even have a decade or two age gap between us. Your responses show a lack of consideration for differences in human beings, their tastes, decisions, and lifestyles. Your responses yield the same for everyone, all directly from "The Rules" and "He's just not that into you". Both of which, by the way, I have read. Took what was useful from both, apply to my life what is necessary, and threw the rest of that BS out. I love people with colorful backgrounds in almost every aspect of life. I, in fact, am proud to be one of them. I have lived a wonderful, exciting life, I take risks, and have regretted few of them. Therefore, I try my best to not judge people from the choices they have made in the past. Hopefully these decisions helped them to grow, & actualize into the person they are today, which, if I am hanging out with them, is likely a wonderful person, as I am always selective of who I keep in my company. Therefore, I disregard your narrow minded, cookie cutter, response.
Kamille Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 "Ugh, now that you have shared more about him, he sounds like a creep. You're never going to get a monogamous relationship out of him, sorry." You were saying? Ha, if only I had the patience to go get the post where I critique Advocate's Devilette's posting styles. She's a bit on the pessimistic side and likes to judge everyone, mostly us girls. Don't take that one personnaly Nu.
NuTuDating Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Ha, if only I had the patience to go get the post where I critique Advocate's Devilette's posting styles. She's a bit on the pessimistic side and likes to judge everyone, mostly us girls. Don't take that one personnaly Nu. Not taking this personal, this is fun... good way to vent I suppose. I've tried to give the viewpoint from a male perspective. Booty calls and serious relationships aren't mutually exclusive. I'm rather on the brink myself, between being a genuine, caring man, and an uncaring ass. Dating is pretty much the one area of my life that I've not been successful at achieving or finding what it is I seek. I've had so many ****ty relationships with manipulative, unfaithful women that I've about subscribed to the SS web site just to see what it's about. Then I come here and see the same type of women posting, and it just reaffirms my beliefs that women don't really want to be equal, they want to use men or date jerks.
Author Little Shy Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 I'm rather on the brink myself, between being a genuine, caring man, and an uncaring ass. Dating is pretty much the one area of my life that I've not been successful at achieving or finding what it is I seek. I've had so many ****ty relationships with manipulative, unfaithful women that I've about subscribed to the SS web site just to see what it's about. Then I come here and see the same type of women posting, and it just reaffirms my beliefs that women don't really want to be equal, they want to use men or date jerks. Don't go baby, don't go! Stay with us. And this guy I am dating is not a jerk, I swear! He's a sweetheart, and if he wasn't, I'd be outta there, and off to find one who was!
Kamille Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Not taking this personal, this is fun... good way to vent I suppose. I've tried to give the viewpoint from a male perspective. Booty calls and serious relationships aren't mutually exclusive. I'm rather on the brink myself, between being a genuine, caring man, and an uncaring ass. Dating is pretty much the one area of my life that I've not been successful at achieving or finding what it is I seek. I've had so many ****ty relationships with manipulative, unfaithful women that I've about subscribed to the SS web site just to see what it's about. Then I come here and see the same type of women posting, and it just reaffirms my beliefs that women don't really want to be equal, they want to use men or date jerks. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying SS out if you are feeling very frustrated with your dating life. But just like I had to learn to have enough respect for myself to avoid the jerks, you have to learn to have enough respect for yourself to avoid the drama queens. the thing is, from what I've seen in this thread, you might be so on the defensive that you might not be listening to the nuances between what different women are saying. Some women are users, some women have low self-esteem, some women are in the same boat as you, trying to find a solid partner to share their lives with, and some women are gay . Some women have it together, some don't. What I would suggest you do is think about what your ideal relationship would be, and what qualities a woman would need in order to be a good partner for you. Don't be afraid to go for what you want in a LTR partner. off topic done, please forgive me Little Shy. Love the response to AD by the way.
dreamergrl Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Not taking this personal, this is fun... good way to vent I suppose. I've tried to give the viewpoint from a male perspective. Booty calls and serious relationships aren't mutually exclusive. I'm rather on the brink myself, between being a genuine, caring man, and an uncaring ass. Dating is pretty much the one area of my life that I've not been successful at achieving or finding what it is I seek. I've had so many ****ty relationships with manipulative, unfaithful women that I've about subscribed to the SS web site just to see what it's about. Then I come here and see the same type of women posting, and it just reaffirms my beliefs that women don't really want to be equal, they want to use men or date jerks. Maybe you aren't finding what you are seeking because you're grouping all women into one category. As Kamille pointed out - You have failed to listen to what I, her, and several other posters have been saying. You're only reading things how you want to take them. You're immediately defensive. Back to the OP... If you like this man for who he is, then talk to him about your concerns. He's being open and honest with you, which I think shows obvious interest, enough that I think you can move towards the talk.
Advocate's Devilette Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 Sorry but if he has a swinger past, he is a creepazoid.
Author Little Shy Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 Sorry but if he has a swinger past' date=' he is a creepazoid.[/quote'] No need to apologize honey, It is I that am sorry for you. I hope you continue to enjoy your steady breakfast/diet of Yoga, Starbuck's Decaf and bran cereal, I am sure they will continue to keep you quite "regular". No need to respond to my threads anymore, as once again, your "advice" is readily disregarded.
Advocate's Devilette Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 oK, do you really logically think a guy with his past is going to give you a committed relationship? You have posted more than one thread now based on your insecurities in this relationship. Then I post my logical insight and you state "gee, everything's great with us." Ummm, ok? He's clearly not giving you that secure feeling that a man in a committed relationship who is falling in love gives a woman. No need to apologize honey, It is I that am sorry for you. I hope you continue to enjoy your steady breakfast/diet of Yoga, Starbuck's Decaf and bran cereal, I am sure they will continue to keep you quite "regular". No need to respond to my threads anymore, as once again, your "advice" is readily disregarded.
Author Little Shy Posted March 30, 2008 Author Posted March 30, 2008 AD, I just don't see why you insist on being such a pessimist? I mean, I thought I was guarded. Anyway, to all who have been following this thread & advising me, here is the update, as today we had "the Talk". Which, I have to say, was partially inspired by several of you advising me that is was in fact, reasonable to do so at this time. So, today (after we were hanging out last night, while we were at lunch) some mention came up again about our different pasts sexually speaking. There was some back & forth about if he was interested in continuing along his fairly recent path (swinging) and where I stood & so forth. I told him I didn't believe I ever saw myself as being interested in that. I asked him if he had ever explored monogamy, & if he was capable of it. He said yes. He said several years of his marriage with his ex, before they started experimenting, were mono, & he had no problem with it at all. He said in that sort of situation, there has to be a lot of previously established trust before you can try it,(that is, bringing in other partners) and it has to be agreed upon by both parties. Also, in previous relationships, and he has been successful with monogamy, no cheating. So, we both decided that we do not wish to date, mess around with, or sleep with other people. Yet neither of us is ready to address the title of "boyfriend/girlfriend" yet. I don't know if that sounds strange to anyone here, but somehow, neither or us are ready for that next step yet, so as far as I am concerned, it seems like we are exactly on the same page, rare. And, he also told me that he feels that each time we hang out together, we get closer & closer So, I think this is good, I am happy, happy that we had our mini talk. Thanks all for all the encouragement & good advice. I will keep all posted!
dreamergrl Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 Little Shy that's great! I'm glad you were able to talk about these things with him. I hope things continue to go well!
Kamille Posted March 30, 2008 Posted March 30, 2008 That is great indeed! I'm glad it's working out for the best!
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