Galexia Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I had phone sex with my ex last night. Is that cheating? I felt kinda bad this morning, but not that bad. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Habibti Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 It sure is. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Do you REALLY need someone to answer this question for you? How would you feel if your spouse did the same thing with THEIR ex??? You KNOW the answer...this isn't rocket science. I'm thinking you've come here with a "follow up" question already in mind...what is that? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I had phone sex with my ex last night. Is that cheating? I felt kinda bad this morning, but not that bad. Yes, it's cheating. And, fact that you don't feel that bad about means you don't really think you were cheating. Well, if your boyfriend/husband was doing this with another woman, having phone sex and getting off, I bet you would be very hurt and feel it was cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Galexia Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 I'm not the typical inside the box thinker, so for me, I'm not so sure it would be cheating which is why I ask the masses. If he did it to me, i would think i'd be okay with it. The ex I had phone sex with once cheated on me while we were together. i was upset for a few days, but eventually got over it as i am one who can easily separate love and sex. Like I said, i do not have much guilt about it. I just wondered what y'all thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrmojorisin Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Any kind of sexual contact or discussion is cheating. That means phone, texting, IM, chatrooms..... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 When people are sure if this or that is cheating.. (phone, Internet, etc.).. then I say: if you wouldn't do it in front of your SO ... then it is cheating.. IMO Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Well, then tell your boyfriend what you did and see if he is okay with it. You may feel it isn't cheating, but let your bf decide if HE feels it's cheating. Right now in your own mind, you've justified it and made it into no big deal...What you don't get is, how trust can easily be shaken and today it's phone sex, what about next time? I take it you're already thinking of a next time...Which inturn is intentionally sharing energy with another man that is not your bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I can't edit.. I meant .. when they are NOT sure.. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I agree with WWIU. Tell your significant other that you did it, and don't feel much guilt about it. If he's fine with it...then you're good to go (at least with him). I mean hey...if its not that bad, and you're not guilty...how upset could he possibly be? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 If you are hiding this from your boyfriend then you know it is cheating. Tell your boyfriend what you did and see his reaction. If you cannot understand that this is cheating then I can only assume that you have a broken moral compass. If you honestly believe that you would not care if your boyfriend had phone sex with his ex girlfriend then I doubt that you have much of a mature relationship. Your boyfriend has my sympathy. Link to post Share on other sites
annieo Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I don't think it really matters if OP wouldn't mind if bf did the same thing. Of course she wouldn't now, since she has already done it. It would balance out the scales. The only person whose opinion counts is your bf. If he thinks it's cheating, I don't think that the words of the masses on LS is going to matter all that much to him. You should tell him, because otherwise you can add "lying by omission' to his list of grievances against you. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarsoul Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 if you have to hide this from your boyfriend, or you wouldn't do it in front of him, then it's cheating. i always tell my boyfriend, "when in doubt, just think of how i would feel if i was standing right there?" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Do it in front of your SO/spouse next time and see what they think Or better yet, don't "cheat"; have phone sex with your SO/spouse Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I had phone sex with my ex last night. Is that cheating? I felt kinda bad this morning, but not that bad. Thoughts? It is one of quick ways to kill the trust in your relationship. If you want self-destruction, then go ahead Link to post Share on other sites
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