youngbuckkk Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 My ex dumped me 2 months ago but i'm pretty much over it. She has a friend that I used to know pretty well because she used to go out with one of my good friends so we pretty much were always doubling up. That was like 2 years ago, she and my friend split up so never really hung out with me and my ex anymore. I see her at school sometimes and say the ocassional hello, how you are doing, but never really had deep conversation with this girl. I was always very attracted to her, but I would never have tried anything because I was with my GF. Fast forward to now, about a month ago I saw her at a club and she was like "where's your GF" n I told her we broke up and she said the same happened to her, a different BF whom I met maybe once or twice when we all got together. Now I was browsing myspace and she has all this sad crap on her page and i'm wondering if it would be weird for me to PM her saying something like "hey I was looking at your page, why the sad mood? I'm guessing you and I may be in the same boat right now. I know we never really spoke much, but if you want to chat sometime IM me". Would this come off as creepy or weird? BTW, her and my ex aren't really close friends and I don't think they ever hang out, if that matters.
Starla Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 if it were me, i'd be pleased!! she must want people to read what she has to say if she has a myspace page...i don't have one but isn't that the point of them? so i think it's a great idea!!!!!!! i'd be flattered and think you were cool!!
Legend Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 The reason girls have social networking sites is for attention. POST A COMMENT FOR ME!!!!!! bulletins etc. she wants u.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 I don't think it would be creepy or weird.
Starla Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 *slaps forehead* i thought i was going bonkers before...this post is duplicated lol!! i knew i had replied...when i saw it on the other thread i was like...where the blazes is my post?? :laugh::laugh:
ketostix Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Not creepy or weird, I say go for it. Is using the word creepy towards males sexist hate speech, like saying the "N" word. Or is it just sexist and not fullblown hate speech that should be eliminated? For example like saying slut or whore. Btw, I didn't mean to single you out I just want to quote the word in question . Maybe I should make a new thread or start a poll?
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 (edited) Well I ended up doing it and got a pretty detailed response back. She told me about how shes upset cuz he doesn't wanna be with her but he still loves her, sounds very familar to me LOL, and that shes just sad. She also said not to worry that she knows me and my ex were meant to be and we will work out. She doesn't know the reasons why we split but she said she will be iming me some time so i'll let her know all about it. She said we gotta drown ourselves in tears together lol. So hey, it's something. =) Whatever happens, she's a sweet girl and at least I get another female friend who I can now get advice from. Edited March 27, 2008 by youngbuckkk
ketostix Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Well I ended up doing it and got a pretty detailed response back. She told me about how shes upset cuz he doesn't wanna be with her but he still loves her, sounds very familar to me LOL, and that shes just sad. She also said not to worry that she knows me and my ex were meant to be and we will work out. She doesn't know the reasons why we split but she said she will be iming me some time so i'll let her know all about it. She said we gotta drown ourselves in tears together lol. So hey, it's something. =) Whatever happens, she's a sweet girl and at least I get another female friend who I can now get advice from. LOL that sucks. I wouldn't want just another female friend.
NuTuDating Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 She dumped you. Go for it. You're single and available. Why not? This girl probably knows enough about you through your ex to know she's interested, it's like having a head start.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 (edited) LOL that sucks. I wouldn't want just another female friend. You do realize that females generally have other females for friends? Besides, what is wrong with having a female as a friend? Edited March 27, 2008 by youngbuckkk
ketostix Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 You do realize that females generally have other females for friends? Hmm date the girls other friends? That's a good idea, but so you're saying it's pointless to pursue more than friendship with this girl? The only problem is my female friends always try to set me up with their ugly fat friends. How do you get her hot friends without her getting jealous?
Lovegod Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 she has all this sad crap on her page and i'm wondering if it would be weird for me to PM her saying something like "hey I was looking at your page, why the sad mood? I'm guessing you and I may be in the same boat right now. I know we never really spoke much, but if you want to chat sometime IM me". That's exactly what you should do if you want to make her your best friend. However, if you want her to become your lover, you will not become her psychologist. If you want her to become a lover, don't try to be her psychologist. Just send her a message like, "Hey, I'm going down to the xxxx to have some fun. Why don't you come with me?" That way, your message isn't empathetic and it takes away from focussing on her sad mood. It's more of an "I'm on this train ride and it's fun! If you don't come, you're gonna miss out!" If you get a slight rejection, just follow up with "You mean you're willing to pass up a great time with me, just so you can xxxxxx? You're gonna miss out on a great time!" The purpose is NOT to have her relate you with sad times, but with positive, fun, and exciting times. As a bonus, you'll lift her spirits too! Well I ended up doing it and got a pretty detailed response back. She told me about how shes upset cuz he doesn't wanna be with her but he still blah blah blah blah 5hit, I'm too late!!! She said we gotta drown ourselves in tears together lol. So hey, it's something. =) Whatever happens, she's a sweet girl and at least I get another female friend who I can now get advice from. F\/ck, NO NO NO NO!!
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 LOL, well I didn't think this girl would just wanna jump in the sack with me knowing that one of her friends just broke up with me and she just got dumped. I was gonna try talking about why she doesn't need to stress over the ex and then try flirting and then go for it. How else should I have gone about it?
Star Gazer Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 I was gonna try talking about why she doesn't need to stress over the ex and then try flirting and then go for it. How else should I have gone about it? I like that idea. Let her know she's "still got it" in your eyes, and you just might win her over. Just be careful of rebound territory.
Lovegod Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 LOL, well I didn't think this girl would just wanna jump in the sack with me knowing that one of her friends just broke up with me Seriously, you'd be surprised. A woman who's interested in you wouldn't think of it as betrayal to her friend, she'd think of it as removed competition. Women are just as competitive (and sometimes even moreso) than men are. I was gonna try talking about why she doesn't need to stress over the ex and then try flirting and then go for it. Flirt first, talk about your past later. Much later. Like 2 months later. She likely has enough girl (and guy) friends to listen to her problems. Your job as a potential lover is to become her lover.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 So any suggestions how I could possibly move this from friendly convo to letting her kno I wanna go out sometime? Is it really too late after the one message? I figure I will act confident about losing my ex and uncaring and tell her I wanna go out with her and help her forget about hers or something. Any advice on this guys?
Starla Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 the men on this board do their gender NO favours....they really make you believe the expression, 'men think with their dicks' is true!!! what is wrong, really, with the male species, that they seem to think being a real friend to a woman, is no good? what went wrong with men?? very sad!!
directx Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 the men on this board do their gender NO favours....they really make you believe the expression, 'men think with their dicks' is true!!! what is wrong, really, with the male species, that they seem to think being a real friend to a woman, is no good? what went wrong with men?? very sad!! I like being friends with women. And I don't make sex get in the way or even a factor. But sometimes I may fanatasize about them when the urge occurs.
Lovegod Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Okay okay, it's not all lost. Try sending her this... Why should we sit around and drown our sorrows? What a waste of time! We're FREE, we should be celebrating!!! Listen, I'm heading down to the ........ on xxxday. Why don't you come with me? what is wrong, really, with the male species, that they seem to think being a real friend to a woman, is no good? what went wrong with men?? very sad!! Sorry Starla, but I just had my annual testosterone shot. The doctor says that if all men embrace their testosterone, society may eventually return back to normal. So forgive me if I'm in the mood to screw like a !
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 Seriously, you'd be surprised. A woman who's interested in you wouldn't think of it as betrayal to her friend, she'd think of it as removed competition. Women are just as competitive (and sometimes even moreso) than men are. Flirt first, talk about your past later. Much later. Like 2 months later. She likely has enough girl (and guy) friends to listen to her problems. Your job as a potential lover is to become her lover. Well I don't know if this woman is interested romatically, and I wasn't going to simply try to rush things when I just broke up with one of her friends. Figured she might simply see it as me trying to make the ex jealous and using her. Besides, I don't know if shes the type to feel bad or hesitant to go with me cuz of my ex. I wanna show her i'm over the ex and that since shes the one who didn't wanna be with me, she should have no problem going out with me sometime.
Lovegod Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Well I don't know if this woman is interested romatically Always assume the woman is interested unless proven otherwise. Act like she's interested, and flirt with her like she's interested. Even if she isn't interested, there a chance that your behavior will cause her to become interested. Oh, and avoid using the term "romantically" unless you're in a serious relationship with a woman. Romance has no place when you're not seriously committed to a woman. Figured she might simply see it as me trying to make the ex jealous and using her. Besides, I don't know if shes the type to feel bad or hesitant to go with me cuz of my ex. What you're doing is self-sabotaging the situation. NEVER make assumptions about a woman you're approaching. None of it is based on any facts, neither is it based on anything she said, and it will cause you to doubt yourself. Clear the slate of all the notes you've made about what's happening in her mind. Let her hold her own ground. If she's worried about making her friend jealous, she'll let you know. Let her speak for herself instead of letting your imagination do it for her.
Starla Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 sooo many of my girlfriends are dating women....something is not attractive with males, i guess. they have to be the ones to work it out....
ketostix Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 Always assume the woman is interested unless proven otherwise. Act like she's interested, and flirt with her like she's interested. Even if she isn't interested, there a chance that your behavior will cause her to become interested. Oh, and avoid using the term "romantically" unless you're in a serious relationship with a woman. Romance has no place when you're not seriously committed to a woman. What you're doing is self-sabotaging the situation. NEVER make assumptions about a woman you're approaching. None of it is based on any facts, neither is it based on anything she said, and it will cause you to doubt yourself. Clear the slate of all the notes you've made about what's happening in her mind. Let her hold her own ground. If she's worried about making her friend jealous, she'll let you know. Let her speak for herself instead of letting your imagination do it for her. Wow I really liked this advice assume she's interested. I think women always play hard to get or at elast are so subtle and equivocal that you have to proceed undaunted anyway.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 28, 2008 Author Posted March 28, 2008 I see what you're saying but at the same time I also didn't wanna seem desperate, and I didn't wanna just approach her like every other guy probably would. She's a very attractive girl so i'm sure she can get it whenever she wants, but yet she is still broken over this one dude. I wanted to try to come at her with the similarity that we both just got dumped and then use it to show her that i'm over it and show her that i'm strong and confident and that she should be the same and forget the ex and through this maybe there would be some chemistry.
Recommended Posts